Have anyone of you adopted a baby after making endless distressing trips to doctor?

Question

Have anyone of you adopted baby after getting disappointed from medical treatments? How does it feel for you?

Answer 1

We went through some medical treatments but adoption kept pulling at us.  We could have continued but decided that wasn't the way we were supposed to go (hard to put into words).  

I can't say I was disappointed with the treatments - it helped me to be where I needed to be in my life to be open to the possibility of building my family in a non-conventional way.  If anything, I'd say they were a blessing.

Answer 2

wow... some of your answers are scary.  "i know a lady who can get you a baby...." that reads a lot like, "i know a guy who can get you some weed!"

seriously, i would discourage any aparent from hooking up with anyone who can "claim" to get you a newborn.   infertility is painful, and i empathize with those who experience it. but to "guarantee a newborn" to me speaks of some unethical stuff going on under the surface.

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ps.  i know this is not an answer, but i felt strongly enough that this needed to be stated. i'm cool with the -2 points.

Answer 3

After being unable to conceive I was completely ready to adopt. However, I did get pregnant and even though I have children now, I sometimes find myself thinking about adoption because I feel like it's such a wonderful thing.

Answer 4

I don't think the choice of adoption is made just like that!  

My hubby and I tried to conceive for many years and treatments without any luck at all (to my knowledge I have never been pregnant).  Our next step down the fertility path was a $10K exploratory surgery that may or may not fix the problem.  So that path didn't sound like it was something that we wanted to go down anymore (I am talking about years of struggling TTC, not just a few months).

Then we explored other options (including adoption) and decided for us that we wanted to share our lives with children that really needed us so we went through training to be foster to adopt family.  We currently have 2 little foster girls (they are toddlers!!) in our home that now have a fighting chance at a good loving family that will hopefully be their forever family.  

This path is harder than the fertility path since you can see the kids every day struggle with being torn between the parents that neglect them and the foster parents that take care of and love them.  But ultimately I think we are the best thing to ever happen to them.  

I would do it all again in a heartbeat... and still be where I am today.  Good luck on your journey... do the research and figure out the path that works the best for you and your family and then go for it.  Bless you!

Answer 5

Instead of trying to fix your distress by using someone else's baby or adopting from foster care - why not try alternative treatments?

Whatever void you are trying to heal, will not be repaired with a helpless child.

Heal yourself, get  whole.

Answer 6

I have made endless distressing trips to the doctor, but can't say it made me adopt a baby.

Answer 7

I'll spare you the GORY details of my endless distressing trips to the doctor!  So many doctors told us we absolutely would not be able to have children...totally impossible.  Finally we just gave up and figured we'd be childless.  I went looking for a vacation home to dump our time and effort into...and found out I was pregnant (made the old fashioned way) just before signing the purchase contract.  Shows you what the doctors know.  Anyway, here is the interesting part, I really think that all my stress, anxiety, and maybe even a touch of post traumatic stress about the doctors came out after the birth of the baby...sort of an especially deep seated post partum/baby blues kind of thing.  Everyone told me I should be sooo happy, and I was; but there was some real down time there too.

Answer 8

Yes, we adopted after three failed ICSI procedures.  The best advice that I can give you though is to grieve your loss of pregnancy BEFORE you start the adoption process.  Also make sure you are emotionally ready to start the journey of adoption - it can be just as stressful as the infertility treatments.  

As for how adoption feels for us?  It has been a wonderful blessing for all of us.  My son is my life.  I wouldn't trade my family for the world.  : )

Answer 9

ohhhhh second choice blahhhhhhhhh. I am quite sick of hearing such bollocks to be honest with you.

OK if people cant have bio kids then Its nice to know that they have the choice to adopt. Like I have already said in anouther question. Would the people who think that they are 2nd choice, rather be left in childrens homes etc? If it wasnt for people who adopted, then thats how it would be. You cant win with some people.

Adopt if you cant have kids of your own, There is no shame in that at all. Dont be put off by some adoptees on here whineing about being 2nd choice. If you bring the adoptee up with honesty then the adoptee prob wont resent you for not picking them first. If you did decide to adopt first, dont tell anyone on here as you prob will get stick for that too!!!

Do what you think is right, and remember that not all adoptees are resentfull toward AP.

Answer 10

I don't know how it feels for people who have adopted, but as an adoptee, it sure feels sucky to know that I was a consolation prize, the second choice, the last hope after all other options didn't work.

Sorry for your difficulties.

ETA Sarahhhhh...for someone so happy, you sure do go on and on in a nasty way.  Work it out, pet.