Have fallen out with my mum big time...worried she will turn my kids against me!

Question

My mum and i never got on and she kicked me out a few times when I was 15 ish until I got my own place at 17.We didnt speak for quite a few months,I was in an abusive relationship for a number of years and she hated him when we were together now we arnt she sides with him She has also fallen out with my brothers and their wives so none of her children talk to her.

No matter what you say to her she is right and everyone else is wrong including me. She attacked a family member in the street on a crowded day and denied it saying they were lying even with lots of witnesses to say otherwise. I have washed my hands of her as I think she is dangerous and has a serious medical problem and am worried for my kids safety.

My question is am I doing the right think keeping my kids away from her as I know her and know she will try and turn the against me when they are older and dont want to lose my kids. The other problem I have also is I bumped into my ex sister in law a few weeks ago with my son and she lied to my mum saying things that I hadnt said causing more trouble.My kids dont see their dad or any of his family(his choice) but am concerned if he does want to see them one day she will cause trouble as well.

Am making myself ill worrying about it, dont know what to do for the best wether move away or start again orhope my kids are sensible enough to know what to think....I am so scared i iwll lose them.

Answer 1

Well it seems your mother is a bit of a head case and causing you grief that you do not wish to deal with in your life. If you are that worried about the effects she will have on your children then I would keep her at an arms distance especially when they are young and impressionable. When they are old enough, or start to ask questions I would sit them down and explain to them with out all the messy details that their grandmother has issues and is the type of person who tends to do and say hurtful things and you made a careful decision to leave her out of your life. It is after all your life and you have the choice to live it the way you see fit. It may be difficult to sever ties with your mother but in the long run if it is what is best for your family then you will probably be a lot happier in the end without having to look over your shoulder so to speak.

Answer 2

seem like you have a lots of problems with your family ..

One thing for sure if you give your kids love .. and affection you will never loose them .. they will be able to see .. where your mother goes wrong and they will stick by you .. however I would limit the contact they have with your mom .. but not cut it alltogether .. she is their grandmother