Have i made the right choice?

Question

i discovered i was having triplets after attempting to have an abortion, needless to say i am still preggers with all 3. i'm living in my parents poolhouse while i wait ti give birth. i'm keeping all 3 of the,. im 19, all alone except for my family and i'm scared. i dont know if i can be a single mom. i really don't. i already know the genders-- two boys and a girl. the doctor said it is most likely that the boys are identical. i probably started off having b/g twins, which is common, but then the boy split into 2. i'm happy with the genders. i wanted at least one of each gender, so i'm glad. but i'm so scared. 3 kids. wow. i used to work as a waitress, for peets sake. im going to go back to college in a year or so, and the dads gonna pay child support, but im so scared. i don't know whats going to happen. 3 kids. thats howmany kids i wanted when i was grown and married, not when i was a freewheelin' 19 year old. i'm worried i've made the wrong choice. i don't know who i can talk too about this. my mom's ecstatic she's getting grandkids who live near her (my older brother and sister live far away with their kids) and she keeps making dresses for the girl, who i'm going to name after her. please someone, tell me i've made the right choice. or do you think i should do something else? put them up for adoption? would it be fair to only pput one or two up for adoption??i know the odds of being 19 and having triplets are very very very slim, but in order for there to be odds it has to happen to SOMEONE, and that someone is me.

Answer 1

I think it is wonderful it will be hard and you are so young but you do have the help of your momand anyone would need help with three. your are going to be fine just start clipping coupons now..good luck!!!

Answer 2

wow, congratulations.  Thank goodness you are 19 because any one older wouldnt have the energy!!!  I think all your thoughts are normal for anyone at any age who was pregnant with triplets, it is scary being pregnant BUT you will be a good mum, tired! but good. it will be so hard with 3 but you are going to love each of them and it will be worth it. And because you are young in 5 years time when all 3 at school you will only be 24. good luck lovely. xx

Answer 3

Well, I definitely think you made the right choice about not having the abortion. Whether or not it's the right choice to raise them yourself, I can't answer. I would suggest that you see if you can find a counselor to talk through the physical and emotional logistics of both raising them yourself and giving them up for adoption. (This should be someone neutral - probably not an adoption agency counselor.) Of course you can find a way to make it work, but being a single mom is hard. Really hard. And statistically speaking, your children are more likely to do poorly in school and be involved in substance abuse, to name a few things. It doesn't mean you can't beat the odds, but you should know they're stacked against you. You'll need a lot of help and support.

In any case, I would definitely say DON'T give only one or two of them up for adoption. In the first place, multiples share a unique bond, even before they're born, and it's traumatic to separate them. Secondly, it could be emotionally devastating for them to find out, down the road, that you chose to keep some but not all of your kids. They'll wonder for the rest of their lives why you gave *them* away, even though they were all born at the same time and under the same circumstances.

Answer 4

i would keep them all why not get your mom to help you out. or is that out of the question? i only have one but i love her so much. some days wish i did not have her but i will always love her.. please keep them putting them in adoption is so hard on them cause  they will be in there for a long time and you don't know who will adopted them and how they will be raise them  i could not do that to anyone. i think you should really keep them even if you are only 19 years old.  

Answer 5

Your family sounds very excited, so be glad that they are there for support and your mom lives nearby.  Yes, three is hard to handle, especially for a first time mom.  You say the dad will pay child support.  Will he also be in their lives, because that can make a difference as far as helping out.  I wouldn't put them up for adoption. And if you do decide to do that, put them ALL up for adoption.  How would you feel if your mom put you up for adoption but kept the other kids?  If you did keep one, you will always think of the others you gave away.  If you were 15, my answer would be different.  But you're 19 and a little older and wiser.  Good luck.

Answer 6

Yes, you have made the right decision to carry the children to birth (thankfully forces intervened to thwart the attempted abortion).

The answer to your second question is much more difficult and requires a lot of introspection and prayer.  A child psychiatrist friend of mine once said such a decision is at once the most self-less or selfish act one can make.  While I cannot know your circumstances, I am an adoptive mother and I can tell you that a similar decision facing a young lady made all the difference in the world in my life. So, obviously I do have a bias here.  I know it is scary to be a parent, even more so to be a single parent at such a young age; if only we all had a crystal ball to know the exact "right" decision.  My suggestion is this, talk to a pro-life crisis pregnancy counselor, who can give you information specific to your situation on your alternatives - keeping the babies or adopting them to another couple.  Yes, there are people out there willing to take all three!  (Obviously, I think it's an all or none decision for so many psychological reasons.)  Adoptions can be closed or open, and you can follow the progress of your children throughout their lives.  Ultimately, it is a decision to be made by you and the babies' father.  God bless you in your decision.

Answer 7

i would say saving life is always the right choice in my mind.  But weather or not to keep all of them has to be yours and yours alone.  being pregnant is scary, I have a 10 month old I can't imagine doing 3 at once.  If your family is supportive god bless!  I would think however 2, 3 at that point what does it matter LOL.  if you choose the adoptoin route make sure it is what you want, dont jerk some poor soul who cant have kids around. just take care of your babies carrying them to term will be hard. no smoking, no drinking or drugs!  and love them lots and lots!!!  it goes by way too fast.  and sleep lots now becuase you will never sleep a full night again for like 20 years i think :-P

Answer 8

Of course you made the right choice.  Becoming a mom is scary whether your single or married. The idea of being a single mom is even scarier.  But you'll do fine and you have your family to help.  Going back to school is good and you may want to think about going back sooner.  Check with your local Department of Human Resources office and the Health Department to find out if you qualify for any assistance programs and defianetly go get on WIC...that many children formula will be expensive.  There are programs out there that can help, you just have to apply for them.

Once your little ones are born, you will never question whether or not you did the right thing even when things get tough.

Answer 9

o my god that does sound scarey. I fell pregnant at 16 by accident and had an abortion now not a day goes by when i dont regret it at the time i was just really scared i had only been with my boyfriend for 2 months i was working in a small shop on a beauty counter and just didnt think i could give the baby the life it deserved .

Im now 19 and still with my boyfriend and i really really regret the decision i made it dosnt matter what age you are you can still be a fantastic mother and maybe next year im considering trying for a baby .

I do not think you should put them up for adoption and i do think you have made the right choice of course it is going to be really hard one babys hard enough let alone 3 but at least your going to have your mum ther supporting you all the way and the father is also living up to his responcabilitys and is going to pay his share perhaps your mother could look after them while you go to collage still so you dont miss out , After carrying the babys for 9 months and going through the whole pregnancy and the birth i think to give all or any of them up would be really hard it is your decision but my advice is definatly keep them  be strong  and do well in life make them proud .

good luck  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...