Have people lost the art of being neighbors?

Question

we used to have parties wher we would invite neighbors from all sides . the house would have 50 people in it.

on a smaller scale we invited them to smaller bbq's in the back yard and all the kids played in our yard (a few at a time of course)

but everyone here seems to want to isolate themselves in their little fortress of solitude.

what do you do when you need a helping hand . maybe you have an emergency and you need them to watch the kids for an hour. ?

why are people so afraid of their neighbors?

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Answer 1

I am not interested at all in making friends with my neighbours. I find the whole situation invasive. There hve been times when just going out to my letterbox and the neighbours are there. Well i don't want to be social going to my letterbox or to check on my vehicle. I want to be left alone to get on with my life. I don't want to see them and i  want them to shut up.

Answer 2

Yes - you are right.

Can you be a trailblazer in your new neighborhood?  Maybe get a block party going for National Night Out 2008??   The 25th Annual National Night Out, a unique safety and community event sponsored by the National Association of Town Watch (NATW) has been scheduled for Tuesday, August 5, 2008.

I think many people feel that their lives are too busy right now  to fit in their own family responsibilities -- much less spend time with people you don't know or are not related to.   But, as you stated it can be so rewarding and fun!  Maybe you need to be the brave one and get the party started!!!  it may be small to begin with  -- but it might catch on!!  All you can do is try!!

Answer 3

yes. they have lost it.

The problem is neighbours usually are so rude, loud and annoying.

I don't talk to my neighbours because they are so rude and loud.

I envy those people who get to make friends with their neighbours. I can't

Answer 4

These days people are so busy with their own lives that they don't have time for anyone else.  I try to make sure I speak to people and keep a friendly eye out for anything going on in my neighborhood and offer a helping hand, especially to those who are elderly,  and that is what keeps our neighborhood friendly.

Answer 5

People have been a little on edge ever since Dateline had that feature "To Catch a Predator"

Answer 6

It does depend on where you live.  Where I live, people are extremely transient--you just meet the new neighbors and the next thing you know, they are moving out (school finished or they decided to buy a condo or home, or they got a job transfer, or their application for studying-working abroad came through, divorces and splits, or a lot of other things) so after a while, you start holding off on getting too involved with the neighbors, don't exchange keys and all that because you know there is the high probability they'll be moving on soon.  People around me are all working people too and we aren't home a great deal except to sleep--even on weekends people seem to head out of town or have a ton of running around town to do so you seldom see your neighbors.  I do wave and say hi to the neighbors I've seen around for a while.  I've also, when I'm home and if I know I'll be available within reason, signed for packages for my neighbors (the problem is that often my schedule is so diametrically opposite of theirs we can't seem to be around at the same time to it's easier for them to go to the post office/UPS to claim their stuff, or arrange for a redelivery).  I don't think most of my neighbors have cook-outs very often (weather won't allow most of the time).  And there aren't many kids in my neighborhood.

My sister lives in a community where people own houses and she's made serious efforts to meet and become friendly with all of her neighbors (and then some).  She's networked with her kids' schoolmates' parents (did I get all the apostrophies correct?) to they all have back-up plans together, if one parent can't be home, another parent can be called up to "keep my kid until I can get there."  But it took a lot of effort on her part and she is a stay-at-home mom so has more flexibility about this sort of stuff (a working mom has job obligations to take into consideration).  They do some neighborhood parties but since her husband works long hours and is often away on business, and the kids are very active with school and extracurricular things, having family time has become real important.

If I had kids, I would set up a network--get to know the parents of my kids' friends--and get to know my very few neighbors that have stayed put for more than a year (I've already let them know I can do vacation pet sitting, water plants, bring in newspapers & mail, turn lights on and off, etc. when theyre on vacation but so far have never been asked to, but I have offered).  But I don't have kids,  I do have a sister who lives within about 30 mins of me and has keys to my home (and to whom I've willed my pets if something untoward happens to me), and I have a good friend who lives within walking distance of me who also has keys so if I needed someone, I do have people to call.

Answer 7

People today move more often than they used to. In the past, neighbors witnessed the births and lifetimes of neighbors, their kids played together, etc.

Today, people move in and out of neighborhoods, often so quickly that it allows no time for the natural development of friendships.

Here's something that can be done:

Make a list of how you would like to interact in your neighborhood, for instance:

carpool,

babysitting pool,

exchange a helping hand with little repairs,

Blockwatch,

anything that comes to mind.

Write these things on a flyer, ask if anyone else would be interested in being part of a neighborhood community, and add your phone number (taking a risk here, but you have to start somewhere).

Distribute these flyers in your neighborhood. Do NOT put these into mailboxes - mailboxes are property of the US Postmaster, and you will be held responsible for postage even if you distribute the flyers yourself. Put the flyers on the neighbor's doors, or even hand them to neighbors you see out on the street or in their front yard.

Field the phone calls, and organize a small party for those who respond, like a potluck. Then see how far you and others can take this.

You mind find that others in your neighborhood feel exactly like you do, but nobody has come up with an idea to break the ice and get something started.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Good question and I envy those whom do have a close or good relationship with their neighbors. I hate to admit it but I don't interact with my neighbors at all for the most part which is quite sad because some of them have been our neighbors for as long as my parents have lived on that block.

Answer 9

We are close with our neighbors, but they rarely come over and stay for very long. If we grill out we'll take em' the leftovers. Thats about it. We like to stay in our nice safe

"bubble".

Answer 10

It's a sign of the times.  People are much more "work and money obsessed".  They are materialistic and more worried about "outward" appearances and "keeping up with the Joneses" than friends or helping others.  Mankind in general has taken a nosedive.  The majority of people don't even know their neighbors name, let alone trust them or even offer to help out in the time of need.  People find it so hard to trust people today because of the crime rates even in the blue and white collar neighboorhooods....you never really know who your neighbor is anymore.   I am different....I prefer to know my neighbors and know who I live next to, we are all here on this planet to help one another and we may as well start with the people we live right next to.

Peace & Love  :)