Have quite the dilema with my 4yr old...?

Question

My step-son is 4 years old and starts preschool this week. We're extremely excited for him...except for one small problem....

He is fully potty trained for day and night time...hasn't had an accident in about 3 months at all, period. But he is reluctant to wipe himself after a bowl movement. My husband and I have tried everything we can think of to help encourange him. (His son lives with us fulltime, the mother isn't in the picture at all, so he isn't getting any negative reenforcement elsewhere)

The preschool he will be attending said they will remove him within 30 days if we can not teach him to wipe himself becuase the teachers don't like to deal with the mess. but this same preschool accepts 3 year olds as well. I know some children learn to wipe themselves at an early age....but i know many who are barely potty trained by three, much less taking care of that all too important function.

I guess what I am asking is for some advice on teaching him to wipe himself. He's a smart kid, patient, good attention span, and learns quickly...just this one small problem we've run into. I don't want it to cause him to miss out on a pretty important part of childhood development.

Not only am I asking for advice, but i'm also asking if anyone else has had the problem of a 3-6 year old not wanting to wipe themselves. I suppose a bit of reassurance that I'm not failing at this whole parenthood thing. lol

Answer 1

My nephew is having the same problem and he turned 3 a little bit ago.  His problem is that it's HARD for him to sit on the toilet and wipe at the same time (hasn't got the balance down yet).  And when he stands to wipe, he literally "stands" to wipe so you don't get anything.  If your son is having the same problem with balancing on the toilet, is to have him stand and teach him how to "squat" so he can get it all or have him put one foot on a stool so maybe he can reach better (I've been looking at other websites and they said they thought their children were having problems because their arms were just to short to reach).  Also, try using those Kandoo wipes (flushable wipes), it makes it a lot easier.  Oh, and don't feel bad.  Like I said I was looking around at other websites and it looks like it's a common problem even among 5 and 6 year olds.  Anyway, best of luck to you!  

********Someone else had asked this same question on yahoo and here's what came up (the best answer is great):

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 2

Oh if only my 4 year old would at least p**p on the potty at least half the time! maybe a good idea would be to find some individual wipes that he could use while in the potty? It could be he doesn't feel clean enough with just reg. t.p.

Answer 3

It is hard to wipe yourself when your 3!  Is hard to reach, your arms arent long enough yet...and your body is small so you are unbalanced.  And still, they just dont care about wiping all that much - to make it effective anyhow.  My children didnt really master this until they were maybe 4-5.

At his age/size it probably would be easier to try and teach him to wipe under himself than around the back.  As another poster suggested, try wet wipes (Kandoos?) to help him get it all.  

As for emotional readiness, sounds like you do well with positive reinforcements, just be careful of rewarding him materially because the school wont follow through with this and it might cause a setback.  

What I might suggest would be buying him some special underwear, keep them in his drawer where he will see them but explain that those are special for when he can wipe himself.  It will be a constant reminder of the reward, and if he does wipe let him wear his new undies - but only after he has wiped.  That might encourage it.  

Good luck!    

Answer 4

tie getting a pop or candybar in with his wiping himself. For example, explain to him that he is putting his life at risk as the live bacteria could cause some real problems. Then wipe for him once and give him a milky way or Clark bar etc. Then see if he wipes after next bowel movement. I f not repeat the process . If still no results, withhold all candy and pop from him until he wipes. If this doesn't work I'd say he might be develmentally disabled and perhaps you ought to bring him to a psychiatrist for evalution.

Answer 5

kids are tricky. u have to have a talk thats encouraging. if he is excited to go to school i'd use that tactic. maybe explain on a kid level that p**p is the body's "germies", and how we have to make sure all the germies go down the toilet. maybe even make it a game!LOL! "we dont like u "germies"! go down the toilet and we never want to see u around here no more! LMAO!

in order to get a 3 yr old to do something u got to think on thier level. Yellin or scoldin never works at that age. u gotta make it sound icky were they WANT to clean up! LOL!