Question:

Have you adopted children? please tell me your storys!?

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I have never adopted a child nor probably never have a chance in my lifetime, since my husband sadly does not agree with my thoughts about it. I watch adoption storys all the time and they are just so beautiful, i cry most everytime!! I hear a bunch of people on Yahoo A ask about their labor and birth but i never hear storys about the familys who have adopted their children. I would love to hear yours!

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  1. I didn't publicly adopt my son.  When I was 19 I became pregnant with my biological son.  A month after my 20th birthday, I married my son's father, and had my son 2 months later.  When my biological son was a month old, my now ex-husband's son (from a previous relationship, who was 2 at the time) came to visit us, a week into the visit, his biological mother called us and said "keep him, I can't deal with him anymore".  From that day on, I raised him, I got custody of him a few months after.  Then, when he was 8, I legally adopted him, 6 months later, my husband and I divorced.  So I'm now raising both of my boys on my own, and we live a very happy and full life.  A life that wouldn't be the same if I had never gotten pregnant!

    We don't fall into the hogwash of "I chose you, so your extra special".  He knows the full truth of what happened, and has spoken to his biological mother on several occasion, but at this point, doesn't wish to carry a relationship with her.  Should the time come when he does, I will not object, however, I will monitor.  At this point, I don't think of him as adopted, as far as we're concerned, I'm really the only mother he's ever known.  We fight like every other parent and child, his argues with his brother like any other siblings would.  The only thing that he's ever really said to me about it was a few months ago, when he told me "Mom, I'm glad you let me live with you and Daddy."  Little moments like that are what get me.  

    It has to be hard for adopted kids though, I can't even imagine, having a whole family somewhere out there and not knowing really who you are.  It has to leave a hole somewhere in your heart.  In that  aspect, my son is lucky, we know where his mother and her family are, should he ever decide he wants to start a relationship  with her.


  2. This question actually gets asked regularly on this site.

    Our story is much like the one above.  We adopted two little boys (brothers) through fostercare.  It took two years from start to finish, we fostered them for about 10 months before the adoption was finalized.  The boys had been removed from the bio family for neglect, abuse, and more.  It was a great experience and we are now a great family.

  3. as an adoptee, i am absolutely against adoption.  i think it screws with a person's head.

    "your mother loved you so much she gave you away".

    so people who keep their kids do not love them?

    "you were chosen" oh, so there was a room full of newborn white kids available and i got picked?  no, that's not what happened.

    the list goes on.  it's all a game that plays with the adoptee's minds.  it benefits the aparents.  not the adoptee.

    ETA:  believe it or not, i love my aparents very much.  that does not negate my hatred of adoption as it is.

  4. I appreciate your interest but I will keep the story of how our son blessed our lives private.  I am not willing to have it out there for those who don't know my family to use this forum as a way to denegrate adoption as a whole.  My heart genuinely breaks for the adoptees who had troubling experiences and I will not discount those either.  They are very real and like anything in life -- there are great stories and tragic ones.  I hope you understand but I did want to thank you for asking because it seems to me that you are genuinely interested in the emotional process of adoption, which I lovingly refer to as "paper labor" and SO worth it! :)

  5. Do you cry when you hear other people talk about their labor and delivery stories too?

    I personally don't like it when I see adoptive parents go on television in order to make other people feel like crying... I kind of find that to be all about the parents and not about the children....

    Since there are only a few ways to give birth and a few dramatic little things that can go on I never have figured out why moms want to sit around and share the minor differences in childbirth... I have given birth twice and it is really just the same old story about a C-Section and emergency and then another C-section that was planned...

    But, the path to adoption is very unique and there are a variety of ways to become an adoptive parent.... I actually see the stories of how that happened all over the place and think you would find a lot of these stories easy to find on the Internet....

    Simply put--We adopted siblings from the foster care system. It took about 2 years start to finish and has changed all the lives in our family.... One child was 5 and one was 1 at the time we became a family... I did not need anesthesia and my labor was long and delivery of a 50 pound and 22 pound child was remarkable unpainful.

  6. Well I wasn't adopted, though my older brother and sister had me convince for a year that I was, two of my 10 uncles were adopted.  The funny thing is I really didn't know till I was about 8. I didn't know that 2 of my uncles were twins till I was 8 either, but really neither ever mattered, and still doesn't.  They are my uncles.  Plus there have been many foster children in and out of my family as well.  Both uncles were from Washington and they were both in my Grandma's house since birth.  The older one had problems excepting his mother when he was young.  He would get presents from her or phone calls but he would throw away the gifts and hang up the phone.  He had quite a few issues, but we all still love him anyway.  And it's kind of cool, he had the chance to choose his own middle name and he chose my dad's name because they were close.  Now he has gotten a call from his father who he has never heard from or knew about just a month ago.  His father has been looking for him for the past 3 years, though his mother wants nothing to do with him.  I haven't heard the latest on that yet.  The youngest was always the cool uncle that me and the rest liked to hang around because he was only a few years older then us.  He's had a rough time getting his emotions worked out.  He drooped out of school and then got a really good job that he likes, the only problem is that he has money problems.  He's really trying to do better I think but he still hasn't let go of his hurt and anger toured his birth-mother, because she had another son too, but she's kept him but not my uncle.  Oh, but he's my grandma's baby boy and she loves having him, she loves all her boys, including her grandson's and 3 male dogs. Yeah, this could look like a sad story but really they aren't that sad just hard, tough, and emotional.  We still have to see the end.

  7. "I watch adoption storys all the time and they are just so beautiful, i cry most everytime!!"

    It's beautiful to watch someone give birth in the most low point of their lives where they aren't able to keep their child and must relinquish?  It's beautiful to watch the potential adoptive families struggle with the joy of bringing a new family member into their lives at the cost of the loss they just witnessed?

    That moment is emotionally messy for everyone involved and really can't be told in a simple Yahoo! Answer.  Sorry.

  8. Okay, I'm 43.  My amom (adoptive mom) kept having miscarriages.  They decided to adopt.  The agency the called did all of the necessary prep work, then matched me up with them.  

    Really, that's what it comes down to for a lot of us.  It's not some flowers, sunshine and rainbows thing.  It's just how we ended up together as a family.  And, guess what?  Just like any other family we had our ups, downs and in-betweens.  I think too many people want to glorify adoption.  After all the hoopla, you've got a family that now includes a child who, for whatever reason, couldn't be raised by his/her original family.  And you go on from there.

    Thirty-five years later I got to reunite with that original family.  Now I actually know and have both of my families.

    So, that's pretty  much the "story."  

    The story of adoption in my adult life includes not only my reunion, but my active involvement in the fight to restore equal rights to all adopted citizen, as we don't have equal rights in 44 states.  I want to see adoption laws and practices improved for all those involved in adoption.

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