Have you adopted from overseas?

Question

We are a couple living in Scotland and are starting the process of getting assesed for adoption. We are interested in adoption here and aborad, any stories or advise would be much appreciated as we don't know anyone who has adopted.

Thanks

Answer 1

I chose to adopt from the UK after looking indepth at Russia and Guatemala. I felt overseas would take too long, (a lot longer than domestic adoption) and you have to pay for your homestudy and all other expenses. There is more uncertainty about the children's past, and less support available for them in the future. However it is sometimes a way to adopt a younger child than may be possible in the UK.

The experts are OASIS www.adoptionoverseas.org/

and they also run a great support groups.

Answer 2

I have a friend that did. I could get more info if you needed it. She adopted the most beautiful Chinese girl as a newborn. She's 6 now and very intelligent. I think what you're doing is amazing. There's so many babies out there that need homes.

Answer 3

Hi,

we live in Canada and we have adopted our second daughter from China in 2005. Besides giving birth, this was the best experience of my live. We were adopting at a time where China was still very fast in processing the adoptions and we got our daughter when she was 8 1/2 month old. She was malnourished and behind in her development but a month with us had her catch up in no time. I am biased, I know :), but she is very sweet natured, smart, knows what she wants and very beautiful. She is also the funniest person I have ever met. We took our older daughter with us to China and it was a blessing. The 2 are very close and each others favorite persons, even though they wouldn't admit to it!

We are trying to give her as much Chinese culture and language as we can and we are fortunate enough to have an organization of adoptive families with children from China to fall back onto. It has broadened all of our horizons and we have more nice days to celebrate together. Eventually in a couple of years we are hoping to maybe live in China for some years, to have both girls learn the language and more about the culture.

China has now slowed down a lot (I think it is 6 years waiting time now), but there are a lot of other countries that are open to international adoption. See if you can't find a local agency and see what countries they offer. Or ask yourself, if you prefer one country over another and research  their policies and possibilities.

Think about how you would feel about the possibility of illnesses your child might have. You might only find out later that your child has an illness/condition, which wasn't detectable at the adoption or was overlooked.  Of course biological children can also always develop conditions / illnesses later, so you never really know but you should think about it.

Another thing to consider is how your environment would react if you have a child from a different race. People are very open here in Canada and a lot of children are adopted here as well, whether locally or internationally so it isn't so much of a problem for my daughter. She is growing up with kids around her that are just like her.

I wish you all the best on this remarkable journey you have ahead of you.

Answer 4

I haven't done this myself, but I have thought about it.

While doing some reading one night I came across a blog run by a family who were in the process of adopting a girl from the Ukraine.  Did you know that there are over 100,000 orphans available for adoption there?  So many kids....it's enough to make you cry!

Anyway, on the site, you can read all about their ups and downs, as well as their lives now that the adoption is complete.    On the main page, they have many, many links for other families who have been in the process too, or are currently doing it.  

There are so many people and families listed there, that I'm sure they can recommend other more official sites for you to look at, as you being your journey.  The best way to learn about the problems you might encounter is to find out from those who have been there....government offices can't give you that kind of insight.

I hope this helps!  Good luck!

http://kristinasstory.blogspot.com/

Answer 5

Hi Jojo,

1) Keep in mind is that adoption should be about the children.  

2)Your child will have two families, First Family and you.

3)There are overseas issues involving kidnapping babies and setting up false First mothers.

4)Read everything you can about adoption.  Get view points from the Adoptees perspective and First Parents perspectives in your research.

This is a good website to start.  It will give you a list of literature to begin reading.  This website will help you make an informed decision when it comes to International Adoption.

http://www.informedadoptions.com/

Answer 6

Yes, we adopted two school age children from Liberia.

I could write a book on our experience, but for the sake of brevity, I'll touch on some points.

You're off to a great start by asking questions.  Do your research and believe me, there's a lot of research to do!  Different country programs have different requirements, processes, etc.  It's important that you understand the country's process yourself, before talking to an agency. There are a LOT of bad practices out there, lots of pitfalls and lots of people very eager to take your money.  Knowledge is power.  If you know the adoption process should take 18 months, yet an agency says the have some kind of agreement to process it in 6 months, that's a red flag.  Likewise, if you know that a country program typically only has school age children available for adoption, but an agency is quoting you a 9 month waiting period for an infant, that's another huge red flag.  I can't stress enough that you educate yourself and be very careful choosing an agency.  

I could also write page after page on the need to address culture, possibly language, racial differences and other needs unique to adoption and international adoptees in particular.  One of the big thing that beginning PAPs need to do is to shelve their dream idea of a fantasy baby and to keep their expectations in check.  A child that spent her life begging on the streets can't just transform into a Girl Scout.  

So, read books, attend seminars, do your research and be as informed as possible before proceeding.  

Best of luck!