Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence & abuse?

Question

What kind of abuse? Sexual, physical, psychological, verbal, etc.? How has it shaped your life? Did it make a you weaker or stronger person?

Answer 1

Yes I have! And I'm a heterosexual man! There is no such thing like gender if it comes to talk about domestic abuse!

The images we associate with domestic violence depict the male as batterer and the female as victim. Yet, despite the critical importance of first acknowledging and then eradicating the male abuse of women, an equally important but untold story remains. Women can be batterers. Men can be victims. At similar rates! However, despite the wealth and diversity of the sociological research which has been done over the last twenty-five years and the consistency of the findings, female violence is not recognized within the extensive legal literature on domestic violence. Instead, the literature consistently suggests that only men commit domestic violence. Either explicitly, or more often implicitly, through the failure to address the subject in any objective manner, female violence is denied, defended and minimized.

Answer 2

Yes, I have been a victim of domestic violence. My ex-husband was physically and verbally abusive to me. I am one of the lucky ones, I had the support of my family and I got out before any permanent damage was done. I got out before we had any kids. I still had my self-esteem.

I know not all women are that lucky. I've worked with domestic violence shelters and I thank God that I never had any kids.

I'm a stronger person for it and I try to use what I learned to help others.

Answer 3

Yes,  I have been a victim of domestic abuse.  It destroyed my life as it was.  It has made me a bitter, angry, frightened, closed off person.  Surviving doesn't necessarily mean I am stronger.  Just not letting anything like that happen again.

Answer 4

dont get mad, get even...

Answer 5

I was sexually abused repeatedly when I was ages 5-8. It always was in the back of my head, but now I think it's all kind of hitting me, because I'm older and understand it more. I finally realize that my mom is the reason why I felt like it was my fault for almost 7 years, and is still continuing; of my life. When I told her about being molested, she told me "don't do it again" and KEPT SENDING ME THERE. It went on for another 2 years after that.

I believe I'm being verbally abused by my Mom. I'm suffering from depression and she doesn't make it any better. She makes me feel like **** for the smallest things, and if my sister yells at me, its okay; but if I yell at her back; its not. She's a contradicting hypocrite.

More with my mom (sorry this is turning into a huge rant), I went to the school psych, she reccomended I see a psychiatrist. So she calls my mom, my mom refuses to get me help because I seem happy. (Its called acting.)

I think I'm weaker in some ways, stronger than others. Little stuff I can just blow off; like people talking about me. I've learned to like everyone, trust no one. But I'm also dying on the inside because just hiding how I feel all the time is eating me up from the inside out. I can't trust anyone, I'm insecure, I hate myself, I'm always afraid, I don't trust people with the name Jonathan easily. I think if I *ever* overcome whatever the h**l is wrong with me, it'll make me stronger in the end.

Bah. Life is great.

Answer 6

The space I have to write in can't tell you how many times I've been abused.  It was psychical and verbal.  It has affected me so if some one hit or pushes me, I will literally flip out on who ever hit and or pushed me.  I guess it has made me a stronger person, because now I can defend my self better than before.  Have you been abused?  If so by who, and what happens if someone hits you??

Answer 7

Yes all of those I had already been abused as a child so I think I probably chose an abusive man thinking that was what love was. Ultimately it has made me stronger but it has been

forty years of really hard work and still counting and 12 suicide attempts. I feel I wouldn't have become who i am now without the experiences, but I feel a bit lost and confused about the idea - that someoen has to go through all that to be this strong - By strong I mean 'real and open and aware of limitations and vulnerability without a cast iron defence system.

Answer 8

Yes. My ex husband has hurt me physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.

My experience with his has certainly taught me to be cynical and un-trusting of people.

However, it has also taught me to recognize abusers and victims so I can help them. I have also educated my kids on how to avoid people who can hurt them. My older daughter broke it off with her first boyfriend because he was showing signs of a potential abuser (he was jealous of the time she spent with her friends) and she recognized it as harmful behavior because of what I taught her.

Answer 9

Yes, all of the above.  It has made me weaker, unsure of myself, and fearful.

Answer 10

Growing up yes. Physically (not molestation), verbal, psychological, and emotional.

At first it made me weak. It made me fear the world and hate the people in it. It wasn't until years later that I realized that I am an adult and responsible for my own actions therefore the time or hatred and loathing must end.

Because of help from my wife and children, I am over all of that now and treat our children far better than I ever was.