Have you ever been angry or disgusted w/ your partner and remained silent?

Question

I'm angry, disgusted, disappointed and all kinds of other things with my boyfriend/"fiance" - We were "engaged" in Feb., started living together in March...and when he was employed he didn't offer much support for the household bills, and now he has been unemployed for about 6-7 weeks now and is hardly giving me any money (from side jobs) and has only bought groceries a couple of times.

He is trying to go into a new career field, and has gotten a book and calls himself "studying" and works odd jobs, but doesn't seem motivated to go look for a job. I've told him time and time again that I can't afford everything by myself and he still isn't helping.

I am just so angry and appalled that I don't know what to do anymore. I stopped wearing my "engagement" ring about 2 months ago (it's in it's box), we hardly ever have s*x (once a month, maybe) and he has started sleeping on the couch. I refuse to support a man, and I have literally diminished all of the feelings I had for him because of all these things. I really wish I could just tell him to get the h**l out, but I haven't. My parents (very hard working people) make comments about him not having a job and hound me about it and it makes me feel bad. I was trying to give him the benefit of doubt, but I've gotten so angry at him that I wish he'd just leave. I don't want to be a b*tch about it, but I'm not the type of girl that "will do anything" for a man. Even when he is home he doesn't do very much to help out around the house.

Have you ever been in this type of situation? I need help. I'm sooo beyond being irritated, I'm at the point where I'd be happy if I came home one day and he was gone (had moved out).

Answer 1

It's good that you didn't get married and THEN have this happen.  You've learned something very important about how this person copes and how they meet their obligations.  This doesn't sound like someone you can make a happy home with.

I am in a similar situation, but my fiance is suffering from depression.  I'm giving him some time to work it out.  If he can get the help he needs, get better, and become a better partner -- then we'll move forward.  If not, It will make me sad but I will have to let him go.

Answer 2

It soulds like you have a leach latched on to you. As long as you continue to take care of everything and do not take a stand. Then he will continue to do as he pleases and let you foot all the bills and support. You need to take a stand, not only do you need to say something, but you need to move on and get rid of this dead beat. He does not care about you, even though he may say so.He is along for the ride, nothing more, nothing less. You can and will do better that a dead beat.  

Answer 3

For your happiness and health you need to give him the boot. Not just from your apartment - from your life. You are obviously a motivated, hard-working, respectable person. He is not. If you stay with him this is how your life will be. If he isn't willing to be reliable and take some initiative before he has 'secured' you, he will only get worse. He's taking advantage of you. He doesn't respect you. It's hard, but it's better for you now and in the long-run. It's better for him in the long-run too - somebody needs to stand up to him and let him know that life isn't like that. It's not fair for you to deal with the burden of this situation given it's essentially his fault and your problem - but the sooner the better. You deserve better.

Life is about tough love and this is a great example of why. Talk with him - lay it out. Be strong. You're not being a *****, you're being reasonable. He's not reasonable. It's your right to expect support and get help. You might try writing ahead of time the things you're upset about out or how you want to approach the situation. It will only get worse if you don't address it directly.

Good luck.

Answer 4

i also once had a bf that wouldn't pay for half of things you need to get rid of him cos trust me he wont change!