Have you ever been in a situation where you think your Sensei/Sifu doesn't like you?

Question

Hi guys, I'm going on to my 5th month in Wing Chun and I enjoy it heavily. Problem is; I don't think my instructor enjoys having me much. You see, I'm probably the youngest in the class besides 3 little kids that hardly ever come. I'm 16, and my instructor treats everyone else so much better than me and with more respect. He usually tries out his moves on me when he's demonstrating and he sometimes doesn't take me seriously about the questions i asked. Just last night I was helping this new member for like 40 mins going over a technique, and he came and said "ok so what are you guys doing here?" and i told him we're going over a technique and he's like "oh, this is the counter" and then i said something like "yeah I'm teaching him the form first" and my instructor exploded, he's like "EXCUSE ME!? WHO THE **** IS TEACHING HERE?" I'm like..... you?

I really don't understand why he's like this, I know I'm young but he acts like I have an ego and he's trying to destroy it although I don't, I have to walk 4 miles almost daily to class and I'm quiet most of the time I'm there!

He is a veteran for Nam and he likes the Army and supports bush and he wanted me to join but I don't support bush and I'm not interested in the army, maybe that's the reason, idk. And i can't afford to leave this school because it's the only Wing Chun school in my Area and it's one of the best in California. Should I just put up with him?

No BS answers.

Thanks.

Answer 1

Nope; although personally I'd get the h**l outta there.

Last thing you want is a "Cobra Kai" type instructor.  The first Karate Kid movie I thought was corny as h**l; I think all of them are and a disservice to the martial art.  It does however present a grim reality of looking for a martial arts teacher, namely, "Cobra Kai" type instructors.  Huge egos, sociopathic tendencies, and basically using martial arts as an excuse to hit people, not teach the, discipline, character and all that.  But then the Gracie family stepped onto the scene and shut them down.

Let me put it another way; a person competently trained in Karate, has nothing to fear from the Gracie challenge.  A person, on the other hand, who is a "Cobra Kai" type, has a lot to fear.  The majority of the Karateka that Gracies tied into a knot, were all "Cobra Kai" types.  A person who takes Karate for all the wrong reasons, against a well trained martial artist such as any of the Gracies, they will not last very long.  Karate does not just have striking; it also has quite an extensive and well developed grappling game h**l, when I studied Goju Ryu I think by my orange belt I learned like 15 different throws.  This is orange belt, by the way, not even close to black.

Okinawan Karate has a lot of Chin Na, in addition to indigenous Okinawan wrestling holds, none of which you can learn on your own.  You can learn striking, blocking, and stepping on your own if you are carefull and detail obsessed, and if you have had prior training, but, you can not learn grappling on your own, you need a flesh and blood person to work with.  So what does this have to do with the Gracies?  Well; Gichin Funakoshi always taught "There is no First Strike in Karate."  However Japanese mainlanders bastardized and ruined the Okinawan forms Funakoshi taught, instead relying on the Kenjutsu principle "The only way to win, is to strike first."

It gets even worse; despite Kata's proven effectiveness, given Master Funakoshi's success in tests of skill (not fights; skill tests, there's a difference), everyone in Japan who studied under him knew that Kata was effective.  The only reason people moved away from them, was not to make "fighting effective" but it was indeed just an excuse to hit people.  Because Karate's spirit has been corrupted, and the aim is to hurt, not to perfect, what ends up happening is that when most "Karateka" encounter the Gracies, people prepared to take on opponents ready to hurt them, naturally they loose, and they loose bad.  See, if those Karateka had followed Master Funakoshi's teachings, and aimed not to hurt the BJJ practitioners, opting of using Karate's grappling moves instead of striving to hurt them with that "perfect punch," perhaps they would not have been so humiliated.

Get the h**l out of there and pick another style or study under Danny Inosanto, probably the only instructor left who studied under Bruce Lee.  You want to learn Wing Chung that badly, Inosanto has a high rank in it.  His school is also popular because it has a lot of practical easy to pick up techniques.

Also, know that the only reason the Gracies, among other BJJ practitioners, were able to defeat "Karateka," or other "traditonal styles," is because said styles are all corrupted.  The modern world of martial arts is extremely corrupt, far more corrupt than people care to realize.  People are careless, because of guns; they figure, if someone steps out of line, a cop will stop them with their gun.  Thing is what they don't know is, cops may only draw their weapons if the criminal is pointing a weapon at them, and fists don't count.  In other words, even in this age of guns, an unethically trained martial artist is still very dangerous.

Some Hollywood bodyguards, for example, have even crippled people.

Answer 2

There was a question someone posted regarding this.

Understand this - you pay your money to him. He teaches you. It's an even exchange. He has no right to treat you differently from anyone else.

We don't know the whole story. Could you have done something to offend him? You did say you were "teaching" another student something. That is offensive to me, as an instructor.

Again, if you follow the rules and pay your fee, he has no reason to treat you inappropriately.

You walk 4 miles to the class? Is that because you choose to or is their no transportation that goes to the school?

One other thing - never say it's the best school. I'm sure there are better. What school is it, if you don't mind me asking?

Find another school if you continue to be treated unfairly.

The thing I find wrong is that he wants you to join the army. He has no right to impose his political ideology on you, much less want you to join any branch of the military.

Answer 3

never happened to me...and without trying to get on your case or insult you...

man the f*ck up and tell him the truth...

your paying money to be there right?

meaning he is taking your money to physically teach you?

heres a fresh start...next class, give him the full benefit of the doubt, walk in there with a good attitude and everything else in order, train and train hard, listen, ask questions, all the good stuff a student does...

if there is one offensive or insulting or degrading statement...stand up, say excuse me but i will not tolerate to be talked to like that when im paying to be here...if you have a problem with me say it but dont hinder my chances at success by sabotaging my experience...treat me as you treat your other students or ill take my money and walk...

and guess what, if he tells you to walk, do it, cause theres hundreds of humble teachers out there that dont discriminate for any reason...

im basing this on the fact that your telling the truth and not shortcutting or undermining his teaching...

Answer 4

Sounds to me like a clash of personality.  From your description of your sifu I take it that he has a rigid, disciplined approach to teaching.  

You have been in class for 5 months but you are teaching someone?   Then you contradicted the sifu in front of the new student?  That's pretty pretentious to be honest.  With a grand total of 5 months experience I wouldn't let you teach at all, so your sifu must have some degree of confdence in you.

If sifu thinks the student should learn the counter...the student should learn the counter without you saying "I'm teaching him the form first."  The appropriate response is "yes sifu".  

It doesn't matter how old you are, how you get to class or what your politics are regarding Bush or the Army.  It's a simple matter of respect which you seem to lack, even though you don't realize it.

Answer 5

I recommend staying as long as what you are learning is valuable to you.  But ultimately, if your Sensei is such a weirdo, it's time to find a new sensei.  And I know Wing Chun has the best blocking with those crazy hand movements, but Muay Thai is the best striking art overall, except maybe Karate.  And Muay Thai and Karate both let you compete (at least a good Karate school will) and if you really want to get good at a martial art you need to spar and compete a lot, not just kata.

Answer 6

If your instructor corrects you using four letter words, he does not rate your respect or your patronage.  He is not a good instructor, and you may be in physical danger.  You take this from him because you are young and don't know better.  I would have told him right there to shove it and walked off the mat, never to return.

If you do this and he contronts you as you are leaving, you clearly inform him that you are no longer a student, and if he lays a finger on you, you will own the dojo after suing him for assault.

Been there, done that.  I had an instructor lose his cool a day before my gokyu test, which I had already paid for and registered for.  I walked out an never returned.  Six months later I took Gokyu at a different dojo.

A Sensei/Kohai relationship has to be one of mutual respect.  My sensei and I are diametrically opposite in terms of politics, but I respect him greatly on the mat, and he doesn't treat me any different from other students.

Answer 7

Short answer: Shut up and train.

Long answer: If you're not going to leave, deal with it. Leave the politics out of it and he'll do the same. Realize you learn the most by experiencing the techniques and relish in the opportunity. You're new. Show him you're there whether he likes you or not and you'll be fine. You're there to excel, not be his friend, so why do you care? Now shut up and train.

Answer 8

If you love the art stick with it. Younger members often get treated "badly" because the instructor is looking to push you hard than others because your younger age will actually allow you to accomplish more in the long run.

If he tries to bring outside matters to light during class that are unrelated to your training, call him on it but don't be confrontational. There are egos at stake on both sides and no one likes to lose.

There is another possibility that sucks out loud and that's the old race card. I trained at a wing chun school in my area that is reputed to be best, the training was great but they treated me like a dog, I heard the same story from so many people and got a pretty clear picture that non-chinese were welcome to train there... but they had to put up with a lot. It's a horrible thought but sadly that is the world we live in.

Hopefully your sifu is just aiming to motivate you the best way he knows (not necessarily the best way for you), I say close your mouth and any time he says something just reply "yes sifu" and do what he says if its related to your training.

Answer 9

The next time you come in, pull him aside, or if its busy tell him you need to speak to him after class. Ask him straight up "Do you not like me? What's the problem?" and he'll probably tell it to you as it is. You may like the answer, you might not but at least you'll know where you stand. Honestly, if he doesn't respect you enough to treat you equally then you should ask for a different instructor. Everyone pays the same money to be there so you need the same courtesy back. I also had a similar problem with my jiu-jitsu coach and he eventually warmed up to me when I took the initiative to pull him aside to work out our problems. Turns out he thought that I didn't take the class seriously, but it wasn't true. We're good now.

Answer 10

either get over it and continue training or go to another style of martial arts.

you could also try talking to him about it.

Answer 11

WoW a person like that doesn't deserve to be a master and teach. I would quit that school ASAP if my master ever acted like that. A master should actually encourage the kind of behavior that you showed, so good job to you. Unfortunately if its the only one i would put up with it if you must. If he's not such a bad guy i would talk to him alone and ask him what his problem is. Just because you don't have the same views as him doesn't mean you should be treated like c**p. Also helping someone shouldn't be treated as a sin but rather like an example.