Have you ever been sanctimoniously lectured about marriage by newlyweds?

Question

Say...people who have been married less than 10 years, and then watched said couple fall apart and get divorced a few years down the road?

Are you able to keep a feeling of smugness out of your head?

Answer 1

I'm with Deirdre O on the children thing.  Makes me crazy when someone who has no kids tells me how I should raise mine and yes the same thing goes for marriage.  

When you're 60 and you've been married 20+ years and you've already raised your family and you're still together then you can offer me advice...WHEN I ASK and I MIGHT take that advise....maybe.  Until then, mind your own d**n business.  

And when it all blows up for that pushy person I cannot help but feel smug.  Just as I do when any know-it-all gets taken down a peg.

Answer 2

Yes, almost everyday, just exaggerating a bit. By EVERYBODY ! :-D

I m running out of ideas here..really ! I may end up asking them to shut up one of these days.

Answer 3

I have had this experience as well as parenting advice from the childless.  I think at the beginning of a marriage nobody realized how tough it is too keep a relationship fresh and appealing.  They also seem to forget that a good marriage is based on first and foremost respect and unselfishness as well of love of course.  Those who marry strictly on physical attraction are in for a rude awakening.

Answer 4

My friend got engaged a couple of years ago, to a man she'd been dating for just a few months. She talked about nothing else, and when I asked if she was rushing things she told me I "just don't understand commitment." A while later, they split up, before they'd even started properly planning the wedding.

It was quite a nice feeling. :D

Answer 5

No.

Answer 6

Newlyweds might have parents or grandparents who have been married for 30 or 40 years and picked up a point or two from them.

Answer 7

Jezebel and Satan feel smug when that happens too.

Answer 8

No, but my grandmother keeps insisting that I am going through a phase, despite being this way for all of my 28 years.  

Answer 9

Being lectured by a newlywed doesn't bother me as much as being lectured by a divorced person.

Answer 10

Yes, but for true smugness I like to watch people who have given me sanctimonious lectures about parenting to see what happens when they eventually become parents themselves.  It's hilarious!

Answer 11

I am never happy about other people's unhappiness... Smugness is a foreign feeling to me, just as compassion is to you.

Answer 12

No, although I did see the delicous irony when I was getting married and my sister was going on and on about how awful it was that on 'my' big day I hadn't grown my nails!

She was going on about this superficial nonsense and saying how her friend 'couldn't think of anything worse than having short unmannercued nails on your wedding day'! I had to say 'Maybe that's the reason her hubby's just divorced her?'

Answer 13

People who've been married 9 years are newlyweds?  Not sure how that works, but okay.

Anyway, I can't say that I have been.  Since I'm not married myself yet though, I'd say they could tell me more than I already know, although I'd rather hear advice from people who've been married for a while.

Answer 14

Good advice is good advice, regardless of who delivers it.

Answer 15

I know what it takes to make a marriage work- and with 26.5 years until I filed for divorce makes me aware of what it takes.   My marriage was a good marriage - but when one person does not want to be married anymore you don't have a choice.  

And what about being told by someone who is very young, has little education and no real world experience, and who says they are tolerant - but tells me in no uncertain terms: 1. that I was a bad mother, 2. that I was "misguided by feminism"  for working, when my husband made enough money to support us,  3. having a housekeeper, and a nanny when my children were young, made me less of a wife.   My children are grown and they are productive members of society.  

Tolerance means you do not disparage others choices.   I have a right to live my life as I see fit and so do others.  I don't disparage their choices.   They don't know where their life will be in a few years.   They don't know how their children will turn out.

Answer 16

I was married at 21 so the answer to that is no

Never seen a couple who has been together that long implode, nor do i think that i would feel pleasure (schadenfreude) if it happened