Wee Shuggie is in a terrible state and goes to see a private therapist, too terrified to go to a doctor in case they declare him mad!
"So how can I help?" asks the therapist
"It's like this, Ah've started getting these fears at night, and they are getting worse! I keep thinking somebody is under the bed, so I go down under it to look and no-one's there, immediately, my brain tells me there's somebody on top of it and this goes on all night - under - top - under - top. It's driving me mental!"
The therapist thinks for a bit and says, "I am positive I can cure you of this."
"Oh great!" says Wee Shuggie
"Now, I want you to come and see me twice a week for the next six months for a two hour session each time." says the therapist making some notes
"And how much will that be?" asks wee Shuggie
"£60 per session" the therapist informs him
Shuggie leaves, troubled at the thought of all that money and goes for a consoling drink at his local.
The therapist never sees wee Shuggie again, until one day months later he bumps into him in the street. He is surprised to see him look so well, not the sleep-deprived maniac he had last seen
"Why did you never come back?" he asks Shug
"At £60 a pop, twice a week for six months? You must be kidding! The barman at the local cured me for a tenner!"
"How on earth did he do that?"
"He told me to buy a saw and cut the legs off the bed!"
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