Have you ever felt so bad you just wanted to end it all?

Question

First of all I have no friends or family, next week is the fourth anniversary of my Mums death.

I've recently split up with my fiancee after it was obvious she didnt love me anymore.

My best friend who has been there for me has started criticising me for acting like a victim and seeing things are better in her life doesnt feel the need to contact me as such in fact the last time she did was last week.

I cant help but feel she was using me, seeing she's married and admitting to have feelings for me but when she practically told me she loved me she then withdrew from me.

Now there is no one I can talk to, I live on my own and can't take the pain of life anymore no one would miss me and I have nothing to live for apart from myself but I've let myself down on countless occasions and cant be happy anymore have done everything I can think of to be happy but I cant take it anymore.

Answer 1

things happen in life and sometimes they are S****y but you have to push through it and not let it get you down it sounds like you have had a crappy life i know what it feels like to want to die and how lonely it could be but don't give up.

things are not always gonna be like this forever why don't you pick up a hobby to  distract yourself try to keep busy.

i lost my mom 3 years ago and i still cry for her a lot if you want you can contact me i would like to offer that to you if you want.

Answer 2

▸IF you enjoy animals, you could volunteer at a no-kill animal shelter.  They are always in need of & appreciate extra help...

However,

▸I think the current main problem may be that you have never sufficiently mourned the loss of your mother... And, with the anniversary of her death approaching, you are starting to relive the negative aspects of it.  So, I recommend reading the (online) brochure:

"When Someone You Love Dies..." :

- "It Can't Be True!"

- Is It Normal to Feel This Way?

> How Can I Live With My Grief?

> A Sure Hope for the Dead

> Some Practical Suggestions*

http://watchtower.org/e/we/index.htm

(available in audio &/or print, also)

*Grief often lasts longer than most people realize. Yearly reminders of the lost loved one often renew the pain.  Certain pictures, songs, smells, even thoughts, can be triggers... Some bereaved ones are afraid to let go of their intense grief, somehow believing it would indicate that their love has diminished.  However, releasing that pain opens the way for treasured memories that will *always* remain with you...

You paint yourself without family or friends, & recently broke off an engagement, so I also encourage you to read:

"Alone, but Not Lonely..." :

- Why So Many Lonely People?

> Coping With Loneliness

- When No One Will Ever Feel Lonely Again

> What You Can Do About Loneliness  

http://watchtower.org/e/20040608/article...

IF you *really* didnt want to live, I sincerely doubt that you would have reached out to us here on Y!As, or anyone anywhere else.  That is a sign that you are looking for a reason to go on...

A Cry for Help... > http://watchtower.org/e/20000915/

I know you said that you don't believe in God, but, you are still welcome to visit our meetings!  You can come early, & stay awhile after, & visit.  Our talks are based on the Bible itself, rather than man-made, false doctrines.  You don't have to agree with us, or donate (no plate passing), or agree to a Bible study.  Just come to be with us...

Jehovah's Witnesses:

Where & How We Worship  

http://jw-media.org/people/worship.htm

If you have any questions, please be sure to ask us! (:

(PS: Yes, I did feel suicidal, for several years.  Bible truth was the only thng that sustained my interest in life, for some time.  Some of the details are in a few of my prior answers...)

Answer 3

I have felt/feel this sh** and what you need to see this is is a phase. You need to ride it. Maybe you need some time to work on you, get healthy, exercise etc. You need a hobby or something and maybe when you are right you will find new friends and a relationship - go on go for it!

Answer 4

hon, im sure you have something to live for. and i am pretty sure people would miss you. dont take these kind of steps, as its bad for everyone forever. a friend of mine did this a couple of years ago and i still cant hardley bare to think about it. you need to find someone weather it be a counsler or anybody to talk to. remember, just be strong and you can get over anything.

Answer 5

you need to pray to God to help you out.

Answer 6

It sounds like you need to put up a good fight...life is worth living...hard times and all! Live for the good things in life. You have a place to live, when most don't, you're educated, when other don't have that luxury. Putting up a good fight sounds a lot easier then the actual act itself. I have tried to take my life 3 times and came to realize that I have to live this life, these are the cards I was dealt. For me, I am putting up a d**n good fight to survive this thing we call life. I believe in you as a human being, that you can make it through this.

My heart goes out to you! I wish you nothing less than the very best! Email me anytime.

Hugs,

Lesli

Answer 7

Yeah sure. Ive wanted to commit suicide b4.. Life was fine, then all of a sudden i grew more hopeless and hopeless everyday.. Then came depression. The depression was really bad, my life was going downhill without my control. Lossing my friends and my happyness was the worst part. Then after getting out of depression, i felt even worse since depression drained me so much i felt i ***** b myself nemore. I guess you have more realistic problems than me. That girl seems like a ****** no offence and you dont nee her in your life, unless she changes. i dont kow how to help you. Theres hope for eeryone, and i know because ive been thru hardship.. In the meantime, get active by going to the gym, and try to join clubs or groups where youll meet neew people and possibly a true friend hu wont let you down. good luck.

Answer 8

Wait until you're 70.

Answer 9

"This is the day that the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it. "Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear". I would say I have felt like commiting suicide before. Think about this, you can take an old half-dead rat, laying on a street, and even though it may not look like much, and even if you don't care much for it, if you try to hurt that rat, even though it may not be worth much to the world, it will probably bite you. Why? Because even though it may Not be worth much to the world, it's life is worth the world to it. Remember, when it seems like noone cares, God loves you, God cares, and if you look deep inside yourself, you'll realize that you still care to.

Answer 10

Groovy Guy,      Life IS worth living!  None of us are promised a rose garden when we come here....the path of living will have as many pitfalls as rainbows,  the secret to this is: to live each day with appreciation and have anticipation for the next day!

You told one of the posters that you don't believe in God....well, that might be one of the reasons why you feel the way you do....lonely!

God is our Creator,  He's our helper and our friend.  He knows us better than we know ourselves.  He's always available,  He never leaves us or forsakes us...He's always there with open arms and He hears all the deepest desires of our hearts.  He knows our needs before they are ever spoken.

And most of all,  He is NOT the source of our unhappiness;  sometimes the choices we make bring about pain.

I do hope you get better.  Please consider counseling if you don't have anyone to talk to.  And always remember,  tomorrow is the start of a new day....we can wipe yesterday's slate clean,  and start all over again.

Best to you.

Answer 11

Yes I have and even though I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Since you don't believe in God, however, I will try not to go there.

It was back in 1989 at the age of 42. I felt like a complete failure as a father, as a husband, as a friend, as a business person. We had just come back east from New Mexico at failing to make a business out there work. I even felt a failure at my religion. I was so down, I wasn't attending meetings regularly nor taking part regularly in the door to door ministry.

I did not want to take drugs and so when I  finally realized I needed help, I went to a naturopathic physician. He put me on a vegetarian diet and prescribed some herbal supplements plus vitamin B complex.  At my second visit, he asked if I was doing any better. I was about to say, "No" when I stopped to think about it and remembered that I told him on my first visit that if he could give me just one or two good days in the coming month, I would consider that an improvement. And yes I did have a couple good days. so I stuck with his program and after 90 days I was almost back to my old self.

I was so bad I was even experiencing paranoia and would often find myself crying for no reason. For a while the only thing that kept me going was that I loved my wife and would never do anything to hurt her, including suicide. Unfortunately for you, you aren't married to such a woman.

Try to find a reason to live even if it is thinking back to another time in your life when you were happy. You can be happy again.  

I've kept religion and belief in God out of my answer but don't be afraid to explore that idea as well or to talk to Jehovah's

Witnesses that may knock at your door.

Maybe this article will help:  http://www.watchtower.org/e/20011022/art...

Answer 12

I hope you get to talk to someone about this if you are in this much pain.    I have felt like that and I know it seems unbearable.   I want you to know that you can get past it.   If I can - you can.  You may need to adjust your thinking a bit.   eg.   accept the situation as it is, giving up the idea that it should be different because that keeps you trapped.    You have to rebuild yourself and I am doing that by helping other people who are worse off than myself.   It really helps.   I hope this helps even if just a little to know you are not the only one.

Answer 13

Get a pet!

A cat, dog, or something exotic!!

They always cheer me up.

They can never betray you!

It's unconditional love.

I hope you feel better soon!!

xx

Answer 14

I feel all of us at one point or another in our lives have felt the way you do now, but killing yourself is a selfish act. There are those that care, and love you even if you think you have no one. We all touch each others lives in one way or another by a smile or just a friendly, "Hello", so don't feel alone. Seek professional help, and talk out your feelings to someone that can help you.

Answer 15

life is suppose to be hard  listen or rather read I have a crush since I was in elementary I still like him now but I can't have him because my best friend likes him too.. sooo I have no choice but to give him away!

the obstacles of life are unpredictable. Anyway the answer to your qquetion is yes

Answer 16

OK, i haven't been in a suitation like yours exactly, but countless of times i did feel like doing it, just to end it all. it seemed really great thinking about it, but to really end it wasn't. don't end you life or attempt to end it. trust me, if you survive or end it half way through the process, it's something that you have to live with for the rest of your life. and it isn't pleasant, as it seems like pratically everything reminds you of it. firstly, you need to find someone to confide in, to let out all your feelings. secondly, you need to get a brighter prespective of your life. look back at the GOOD times in your life, and cherish those moments, reminding yourself, that you still have something to live for. thirdly, try, it will be hard, but try to forget the negative people in your life, or the comments made by them. maybe your friend, was trying to tell you snap out of it, but she didn't do a good job at it. depression isn't nice, you may have major depression for wanting to end your life. i understand that you don't believe in God, so try and seek out medical help. trust me, i have been in your position already, i came real close in ending it all, and now i have to live with those feelings and memories for the rest of my life. i never spoke to anyone about what was affecting me, the feelings came, and i let it slide, only to find myself acting on it. one year ;ater, i finally talk about it, and all the stress and burden that was on me for the year, was lifted off of me. so as much as you don't believe in God, try or seek out medical help. if you want to talk to someone, some of the other people already told you, you can contact them, i'll do the same for you. doesn't matter what time, just send me the email, and i'll get in contact with you. i seriously hope, that those feelings leave you, and you become happy and like yourself again. you said you have no friends, correction, you have me, i'll try and help you through this.