Have you ever gotten really frustrated and said something terrible to your kids?

Question

My 5 yr old is usually a very sweet boy, but of course once in a while he really pushes my buttons. He has these wild streaks where he just totally disregards everything I say, and talks back so much it's nuts. No kind of discipline has ever helped during those times.

He really pushed me so far tonight that I had to leave the room several times just to control my anger. At one point I was telling him he would be going to bed early and not going outside at all tomorrow because of his little 'tantrum' and he said "I want a new mommy!" and I said, in anger "yeah!?? And I wish I had a different kid!"

Ugh, terrible. After we calmed down I sat him down and said I was out of line to say that, and that I didn't mean it. I told him how much I love him, that I would never wish I never had him. He feels better. I sure don't.

So I just want to know, and don't rag on me telling me i'm a terrible person or something, but have you ever done something like this? I feel so bad!

Answer 1

Nope I never have.  But then I don't allow myself to get that frustrated.  All kids at some time will tell their parents "I hate you" or "I want another mommy".  It is the PARENT'S responsilbity to recognize that the child is lashing out because the child doesn't know how to control their frustration (a parent is supposed to be able to), They don't mean it.  When my kids tell me "I hate you" I tell them to get in line behind the rest of the world.  When I hear "so and so's mom is a better mom than you"  I respond with, "Okay so go pack your clothes and I'll take you there to live."  When they threaten to "run away" I help them pack.  You are supposed to be the adult...act like it.

Answer 2

We all say things we regret to the people we love. The important thing is that you guys worked it out, and that he knows how much you love him, and that you didn't mean what you said.  oo

Answer 3

Yes. You're normal. Don't beat yourself up about it. You'll still remember it in 10 years, he won't. You're only human. Use it as a learning experience for next time (so you don't have to put yourself thru all the guilt again another time).

For future reference, many times when little ones say they hate you, they want a new mommy, or something similar, what they are really looking for is reassurance that even so you're mad at them, you love them. The best, most defusing reply is "I love you so much" -- shuts them right up!

Answer 4

Yes, I have done that too, dont feel bad, youre not alone, and you handled it perfectly!

Answer 5

I think everyone has moments like that. If they don't they're lying. The important thing is that you said you were sorry and out of line. That's what he will remember. Don't beat yourself up and don't listen to negative comments. You are human, and that is all.

Answer 6

No you are very normal one of my kids said they were going to run away so i got a suitcase and said just  ring me when you find a place .

they were still there at dinner time lol lol lol