Have you ever had a competition-like pregnancy?

Question

my best friend went of BC the same time I did, because she wanted to get preg together & have our kids be the same age. (Our first kids our 11 days apart, and we didn't plan this at all, but she wants it to be like that again).

Anyway, I'm not stressing or altering my TTC plans. But she's all up in my business, wondering when I got my period, when she's getting hers. What her most fertile days are. When am I having s*x? When she's having s*x. When I'm due for my period, when she's going to test. How late is my period? how late her period is.

I'm so sick of hearing about it, it feels like she wants to compete with me. She's always asking so many questions- she charts my period & her own. I just want to have a laid back TTC moment with my partner.

It's something that should be between me & HIM not between me & HER. What can I do to make her realize that I'm happy for her, but I don't want her so involved in my baby making??

Answer 1

Sounds like she just wants you two to be pregnant together and have like a bond.....

Answer 2

I would tell her that trying to plan your pregnancies exactly together is stressing you out and you are concerned that it will make it harder for you to get pregnant.  Tell her that it's not her fault, but you feel so much pressure from doing it at the same time, that you'd like to "pretend" you aren't....so let's not talk about it anymore!  In other words, be sweet about it, and make it seem like it's your problem and not hers, even though it's obviously something she needs to deal with!

Answer 3

Tell her the truth on how you feel, she is your best friend and (should) understand.  No matter how you try to plan it it when happen, when it is supposed to.  My best friend wanted us to get pregnant at the same time, since our boys are 4 months apart.  I now have a 2 month old and she is 1 month pregnant.  Our children will still be close in age.  No matter how you do or don't try to plan it, pregnancy happens when your body is ready.  Just let your friend know that you are going to enjoy doing your man, and not have to think about, is my friend getting pregnant at the same time!

Answer 4

Just tell her what the last paragraph of your question is.  It's not rude, it's to the point.  It shouldn't feel like a competition and maybe she really wants to be pregnant at the same time, but maybe also she is being a little competitive (b/c women can be catty sometimes).  No reason to make TTC more stressful, b/c sometimes it can be anyway.

Good luck to you!  I hope your friend understands where you are coming from and there's no more drama (stress isn't good either when ttc).  Also, good luck to you in the baby making dept!  Hope you get a bfp soon!

Answer 5

I want to say No, but sadly I have been this immature. *hangs head in shame*

In late 2004, I started ttc. I feel pregnant with Master William & Tobias. And my then *Best-friend* for over 10 years was jealous. She wanted a baby so badly, but didn't have a partner or anything.

Then we found out they were Twins. Things got really bad then. She told everyone I was on drugs, Husband was abusing me, I was having an affair, so on.

It was a long few months. I had enough and cut off ties, and threatened a Protection Order against her, as it was that bad.

When I had Master William & Tobias, we started talking again. But soon after, the jealousy came back. She wanted them to be girls, bought them feminine clothes, and other stupid high school stunts like that.

Then when my son's were 2 months old, I had a knock on the door. CPS were at my home. I nearly died. I am so thankful that they lady laughed when she saw my healthy twin boys, and saw what a wonderful mother I was.

I can't prove it was her that called them, but I heard the rumours. I just cut ties, and did get that Protection order for myself, Husband & the boys. She needs help in the head.

I ran into a old school friend 5 months ago, when I was in my home town after giving birth to my new babies. Apparently Miss Ex--Best Friend had 2 kids, and isn't well doing too well. It's a shame, because she wasn't that bad once.

She let her jealousy control her, which is a shame.

I'd make it known to your friend now, to save any heart break in the future. Just tell her how you feel, because it's better to understand than lose a friend over something so beautiful like a child.

Answer 6

Tell her that this is a special moment between YOU and YOUR husband, you can be nice and not rude about it..