Have you ever had a friend and you're both TTC at the same time?

Question

what happens when you get pregnant & she doesn't?

what happens if she gets pregnant & you don't?

my best friend just went off birth control because I did. She wants to have same-age kids. But now I'm worried that I might resent her if she gets pregnant and I have problems... or I'd be nervous to tell her that I was pregnant if she wasn't yet.

I didn't want a competition, I wanted a baby. I feel like she is trampling on my ground...

It's been almost 6 months and we're both still ttc.. ADVICE. Thanks.

Answer 1

i do have frnds...who are ttc.......and my best friend found out she was pregnant a few days back....and no am not at all jealous of it....actually am happy for her.... :) am ttc 6 months before she planned on conceiving....

do not think that this as a competition....this would just cause extra stress for u which u absolutely are not in need of while ttc....just feel happy for her if she concieves or share ur happiness with her if u conceive first....

friends are not for competition...they r for sharing our life

remember when u share ur sorrow with frnds it gets reduced by half and when u share ur happiness it gets doubled....

Answer 2

Its just happened to me however I am now so used to people getting pregnant around me I just try to get used to it, she wasnt even trying, I feel so rubbish about it sometimes but Iam obviously not good enough to be a mother.

Answer 3

That's quite a tricky situation - I can understand why you feel like she's stepping on your toes a bit, I'd feel the same way, although I can see the advantages of you both having similar aged children.

I'm not sure that your friends motives are that secure though - going off birth control just because you did isn't a great reason unless she really wants children too. I assume that she also wants to have children, and now is the right time for her and her partner?

I would imagine it might get a bit difficult if one of you gets pregnant before the other - how you react either way will be tough. I had been trying to conceive for a while before my friend got pregnant, and when she told me I was happy for her and I think she was a bit embarrassed that she had "won the race" even though we weren't competing at all.

She kept giving me advice that I already knew, like raising my hips slightly and staying in bed for 20 minutes after s*x. After the third time of her telling me the same thing, I did feel a bit like my smile was getting forced, but I know it must have been hard for her too, knowing that we were trying.

I hope that you both manage to conceive at the same time, but my advice if you don't would be to try to be sympathetic to her situation whether you are first to fall pregnant or you are still trying.

Good luck!  

Answer 4

Sounds to me like high school.

Kind of like you have a new pencil case now I want one.

Don't worry about it, Honestly just keep trying and if you fall pregnanct do not let you 'friend' make you feel bad for it.

Like you said you wanted a baby, Not a war.

Good luck