Have you ever had a "timing person"? What did you do about it?

Question

I am engaged to be married. My fiance' is my best friend, and I truly love him. He's the first guy I ever truly dated, and the only guy I ever stepped outside my comfort zones for i.e. how we got together.

There's this one guy who I consider my "timing person." I know if he had come into my life before my fiance', I would have been head-over-heels for him. I don't know if he suits me the way my fiance' does, but there's definitely some attraction. He has been a almost-friend (I say "amost" since we don't know each other THAT well) for a while now, and he has liked me nearly just as long.

My sister thinks he's perfect for me. Probably because he's handsome, rich (24 and has a motorcycle, two cars, a dune buggy, and his own house, and his family owns a winery), more normal than my fiance' (my fiance' has his own personality, and my sister finds that weird), and the fact he's traveling the globe helps.

I don't know what to do. The whole timing thing is driving me crazy, but I can't hurt my fiance', and I would never cheat on him. Everyone sees the connection between us, especialy how he jus grins and lights up when he sees me. Just a few moments ago my mom told me how she knows my fiance' and I are crazy about each other, but she thinks I would have been head-over-heels for my timing person had he come into my life first, and to make sure that my fiance' is the right one for me. How can I? I truly love my fiance', the relationship we have shared, and most of his family. We'll be married next year, but I wouldn't feel right getting married before this is resolved. How can I know for sure without cheating or breaking his heart? My friend has asked me out a time or two, but I always turned him down, because despite the fact he labeled it as "hanging out" things like a concert and fireworks are too date-like.

Answer 1

You know what? This is breaking MY heart to hear your story. What troubles me most is that your sister and your mom is telling you to cheat.

If you truly love your fiance and want to know if he truly is the one for you, you don't measure him up to other guys, you measure him to yourself and how he fulfills your life.

If you have a timing person, you're not ready to get married. Because you'll run into timing people your whole life. But if your marriage was meant to be and is meaningful to you, then they're not timing people, they're just people.