Have you ever had to choose between being right and being happy?

Question

What do you do if you have to make decisions constantly that will jeopardize either your integrity or your happiness? How do you even make a decision?

What if doing the right thing meant that you would lose all your money? Or lose your best friend? Or your lover?

And how do you know for sure if you're doing the right thing?

I really need real answers. I know it depends on what you want out of life and what you value. What do you think is important?

Would you shut up and let people close to you have their way or what would you do if everyone you care about is fighting with you to be right?

I'm so confused.

Answer 1

Oftentimes, when or if we choose to take the route that will seem initially like the "happy" one (at least temporarily), we may still become unhappy by the fact that our integrity has been compromised.

Personally, in a serious decision, I would choose my integrity over deciding by emotions. Eventually, maintaining conviction of that which is a matter of personal integrity will make me happier than giving in to ephemeral emotions or not wanting to confront certain matters or people.

In other words, doing what is "right" TO and FOR me is more fulfilling than catering to feelings of any kind (fear, happiness, etc), which will pass.

Of course, that also depends on the situation.

No, I would not shut up and let others have their way with me, I am the one who has to live with my choices and will be responsible for myself. I would certainly be open to criticism and advice, but ultimately, my life is mine to live. They have their own.

Sometimes when we don't listen to helpful advice we may have to learn through experiences (some of which can be painful), and other times their advice is not helpful at all. So, it is your choice to balance between listening to loved ones and doing what is best for you, not only for the present, but also consider how this decision may affect you over time.

Hope this helps, I truly wish you well.  :-)

Answer 2

I was in an roller coaster relationship with a super depressed schizophrenic drug addict. I really cared about him a lot and he made me feel like he needed me just to survive. He often told me how he would kill himself if I were to ever leave him. And he had absolutely no confidence. He was way too passive in our relationship and never made the first move on anything. He wrote me poetry and songs and said I was his goddess but he was so underconfident that he was afraid to do anything. When I kissed him he just froze up. He never asked me for a date. I had to ask him. Then I had to pick where to go, what to do, etc. because he wouldn't. I loved him for his great mind and his neediness but things were starting to go downhill. He had attempted suicide twice, and was getting more and more into drugs. He wasn't the sweet shy kid that I had fallen for anymore. He was bitter and sarcastic and was rude and hateful to pretty much everyone except me. He said that he loved me but he made me feel terrible. Sometimes when I would tell him I loved him he would say "yeah, until you find someone better" I think it was just his way of trying to keep me because he was so scared of losing me but it made me feel horrible. His drug use had elevated from just weed, alcohol and some pills, to Methadone and even heroine. All my friends said it was just a matter of time until he became physically abusive but I didn't believe them. I wasn't really happy but I loved him and I felt like it was my mission to save him.

Then Ted came along. Ted and I had been friends for 5 years. I had always had a crush on him but I thought he was out of my leauge. As things got more difficult with that guy, I took refuge in my other friends, including Ted. He invited me over one night and spilled his heart out to me. He told me that he loved me and he wanted to be with me. I realized that I wanted to be with him too but I didn't know what to do. I never wanted to leave a guy just because I found somebody better. That had been done to me in the past and I knew how horrible it felt. Also, I thought that the schizophrenic junkie needed me. I was afraid that if I left him he really would kill himself. My mental health was in shambles. I was very depressed because of my relationship, and I was starting to experiment with drugs myself.

Ted helped me realize that I didn't need a guy like that in my life and I needed to take care of my own mental health rather than trying to save the world. Breaking up with the guy was difficult for me but I knew it was best for both of us. We had become too codependant and were no longer the good influnce on each other that we were in the early days of our relationship. I finally found the strength to end the relationship, and guess what, he didn't kill himself after all.

Three years later, I am in the most wonderful and fulfilling relationship that I've ever had. For once in my life I'm truly happy and I have a boyfriend whom I can respect and who respects me. I haven't seen my ex for over two years. He moved not long after we broke up. I stilll think about him from time to time and wonder if he's okay but I don't regret my decicion. I know it was for the best for both of us and I hope he has a better life now. It was against my morals to leave a guy like that but it was worth it for my greater happiness with my husband and I know that I am now where I'm meant to be.

Answer 3

well first i have to day one thing wow! WOW!! okay happiness, keeping yourself happy, health, roof over your head, best friend because a love can be replace and if he really loves you he wouldn't make you chose! and the fighting give me detail and like is it over you or what... and who fight?? and then i give you the rest of my anwser! :]

Answer 4

Yes all the time. But being right most of the time coincides with being happy. Don't let other pople walk all over you. Don't be anxious to please everyone since we are just humans and can never do that.

Answer 5

I don't know if my choice is anything like yours but I had to choose between love and life once. Well my ex wanted everything all at once and I wasn't ready, I choose to end things I don't know if I made the right decision because I regret it but I do know at the time it seemed right but you must think carefully and be calm when you make big choices I made mine out of stress and frustration and to this day I'm not sure if I would of done the same thing if I thought about it rationally and with a cool head. When you calm you will know what to do.

Answer 6

Yes, I did have to choose between that. And I chose right. Now, I choose happy.