Have you ever notice this about racisism?

Question

When I am at a restaurant and I see a white waitress being rude to white customers I just think shes a female dog, but if a white waitress is rude with me I think she is a racist. Is that a double standard? Do white people think this when they get a black waitress and she is rude?

Answer 1

Is it possible that this is you being thin skinned - an unfortunate the "jeux de mots" under the circumstances?

Is it possible that waitresses are not generally racist so much as systematically rude to everyone, on an equal opportunity basis?

On encountering a rude waitress, my first thought is not that she is a racist waitress, but that she is a waitress who is not going to get a tip.

Answer 2

I think that you question is an important one and despite the views of some of the other posters, I think that one of the essential components to easing racial tension are identifying these double standards that exist within ourselves.

The problem with labeling people with tags like racist or sexist etc is that you are internalizing their bad behavior. For example in your scenario, if you jump  to the conclusion that the waitress is rude to you because she is a racist, the same side of that coin is....she is rude to me because "I" am black and further that in her mind being black is bad.  So from one rude remark, you have gone from her just being rude or having a bad day to "she hates me because I am black and she thinks that she is better than I am." That sort of internalization over time makes people jump to the same conclusion faster and faster in less likely scenarios until eventually, anyone who looks in your direction is a racist. That is how racism (or sexism etc) festers and grows.

And it happens to everyone. Yes whites that receive bad treatment from a black waitress may have the same reaction. Or a woman that is spoken to in a disrespectful tone by a man may feel that he is being sexist. But the problem is that that waitress' rudeness doesn't affect her. She may just be a ***** and is nasty to everyone. However her bad behavior has affected you in that you have made the conclusion that she is racist and that "those" people are against you just one more time. And each time that you tell yourself that, it reinforces the belief that ALL whites are racist, etc. That must fear and loathing causes harm to your life, not the waitress who hasn't thought about you again after you leave the restaurant.

Perhaps in the future, when you hear that voice in your head say "she is a racist" you can stop and tell yourself...."wait a minute, she isn't a racists, she is just a rude person." This way you aren't internalizing someone else's bad behavior and it can't grow to be harmful in your life. The world is chock full of rude people and most of them are just as rude to people that look exactly like they do as they are to people who look different.

best

Answer 3

No i think if a waitress of any color is rude it's just because she's a rude person...because have you ever noticed no matter waht color the customer and no make what color the waitress if he/she thinks you have money you get treated the best?

Answer 4

Sounds like you're racist to me.

Answer 5

Sounds to me that you are one of those with a chip on your shoulder looking for a free handout. Stop the whinning we are all sick of it!

Answer 6

why is it that in common places, we automatically assume racism is the core of a person's attitude?  maybe she was in a bad mood that day - or distracted by her personal life.

let's not always be so quick to assume that a person chooses to treat you in any specific manner because of the color of your skin.  i think your way of thinking (as you have written it) is the double standard.  since i am not white, i cannot speak for them - but to be honest, many white people i know will call you out based on what you present - not based on your nationality.

Answer 7

White waitress doing it is a Beeeatch.

Black waitress doing it is a yo mamma.

Answer 8

um no. its just you being a paranoid jack-A$$.

Answer 9

It's good you are examining this.  I think you can't just generalize it.  There definitely is still racism out there but there definitely are A**holes and b*****s out there and they don't care if you are black, white, or green they are just going to be rude and obnoxious.  I would say just don't assume it is because you are black but do assume they are below you for acting like that.  As far as waitresses, a lot of folks just don't know how to give good service anymore and this includes retail stores.  It's pretty sad.

Answer 10

Interesting. I would have to say its a double standard until I can get more of the situation.

Answer 11

How I see it, if a waitress is being rude then she just might be having a bad day. Can you imagine serving food and taking orders all day? Sometimes the customers are rude do you ever consider that?

Answer 12

Now a days everybody has an attitude.  White /black/ whatever you maybe.  People do not care how they treat each other anymore and then we want to say it could be racist. ,most of the time it's because people do not have manners or any type of social skills.  Customer Service in America is lacking big time...

Answer 13

A lot of attention has been placed on discrimination in this country however nearly none has been placed on "reversed discrimination".  Too often the label of racist is placed on those who don't get along with someone of another race when race is not the issue.  It is just that one person that the supposed racist has a problem with.  Not the race on the whole.  Today, however, people are too quick to label others.  I applaud you for bringing this issue up.  Only by each of us catching our own thoughts and actions and stopping the double standard  with ourselves will discrimination of all kinds be put to a stop.

Answer 14

How can it not be a double standard.....if someone white is rude to you they must be racist, but if it is another black person, oh they are just having a bad day.....nice.  You're the racist.

Answer 15

No, white people think "what a black b****".

Pft, whatever. You need to get a life instead of coming to Y!A making up questions.