Have you ever thought this about your parent(s)?

Question

Ok, let me just begin by saying that I love both my parents dearly and I am very close to them both.

But, for the past few years I have been having problems with my relationship with my father. He is the epitome of the perfect father, and head of the house.. he always takes care of his family and is there whenever anyone needs him. My problems arose during an argument I had with him about two years ago where for the first time I looked at him not as my father, but as a man, and frankly I lost respect for him. He is quite chauvinistic and has certain ways of thinking that conflict with mine (like how he feels that women are inferior to men). The other day he was actually telling me that 'when a man cheats on his wife.. its the woman's fault'.. can you believe that?!? How can I be affectionate toward my father when I cant respect him as a man??

Answer 1

I am a dude and I believe most things in the bible.  With many limitations woman are inferior to men.  The one thing I don't believe in is cheating.  Your dad's crazy.  You want to show affection to him.  To tell you the truth I would never forgive him.  

Answer 2

I've had some of the same problems with my mom, but over time I've developed a better relationship with her again.  There has been some damage done to our relationship that I don't know if I'll ever get over.  I have  a really difficult time buying mother's day cards for her because they all say something like, "Mom, you've always been there for me."  My mom hasn't.  It will get better with time, but you may have some troubles with a few issues.  I'm sorry.  

Answer 3

no matter how bad of a father he is, you must love him and give the respect you would as a father.

my father is stingy (cheap) and he barely lets go of his money, but i understand why, he was raised that way. he grew up in a village in south america and never had money to begin with. he had a buisness mind, and believed to always save money.

as much as i hate that trait he has, his stinginess has brought him from a village in south america with my mother, to a apartment in a nice neighborhood in New york. and im the first generation of my family to live in new york and im so proud of my father.

so what you see in your father has a story behind it. sweetie everyone has a story, talk to him about his feelings and ask him why he thinks that,

you may find out something about your father that you you never knew.

Answer 4

well i dont feel like that really with my dad.

we just dont speak really.

i dont know why!

when i was little he used to play with me and my sister

alot and was really nice to us.

now im 15 i dont think i speak more then 5 words to him a day.

which is really weird because my mum is liike a best friend to me.

I wonder why!

i dont know , maybe you can be affectionate towards him because he is your father. but i dont blame you for not being able to respect him.

By saying that i would have lot respect for him to

Answer 5

Well, personally I have never felt this way about my father, because he does not act like that and has always taught me to respect women. However, I had an ex-girlfriend with a father who sounds identical to yours in the way he acts towards women. He would say that it is a woman's job to be in the home and cook, clean, etc. and that it wasn't a woman's place to be in the workplace. She struggled with this for a long time until finally she called him on it and asked him why he was so chauvinistic and whatnot. He told her that he was raised that way, and he was not changing because he was the breadwinner for the family, etc. She moved out when she was 18 and still has a scarred relationship with her family because of her dad's destructive thoughts about her career, saying she should just "find a man to make the money and stay in the house and raise a family"

Obviously she is my ex and I haven't talked to her in about 3 months but I can see how he affected her family, and how it probably happens more often than it should. I would reccomind finding peace within yourself that your father is this way, and following your dreams regardless. I know it can be hard

Good luck

Answer 6

ok.. i dont get the question? wtf are u talking abt?... he's ure DAD

Answer 7

I've heard my mother and father say things to that extent, but not exactly what your father said. I know it's hard, but you have to just put it out of your mind. You can't think about them as "people" like that. You have to think about them as your parents - and love them solely for that. You don't have to think they're a good person to love them, unfortunately. You can't pick your family. Good luck, and I do know where you're coming from.

Answer 8

i have the same problem with my mom. i can't imagine why i dont respect her though. i think its just a phase. if you get angry at him easily (like no reason) sometimes then you probably are as confused as me.

Answer 9

You think you have it bad? When ever my dad talks to me says 'go to your room and study' or punishes me for disobeying him. Look you can find more about how he torchers me at home with rules, rules, and more rules

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 10

That is a tough one. I can somewhat relate. My father and I have some of the same issues, and regardless if you want it to or not it does have an effect on your view of them as a person. His views are unfortunately common but never excusable... but I think it is important to keep in mind that you really have to pick your battles. Love your dad for what he is and what he has done for you. The other things that have made you loose respect for him wont just disappear because those are big issues and my opinion you are right for feeling the way you do. but with that said the great thing about family is that the love tends to be unconditional... try to focus on the positive things that your dad has brought into your life or just the simple fact that he has been there for you. But when he says things like that hold your ground and let him know that yes you love him but you don't agree. Don't compromise your views, instead agree to disagree and keep the love of family alive.  

Answer 11

I pretty much stopped at "women are inferior to men". Ok, I'm a man and even I know that's a sign that your dad is more confused than I am. (username) I'd only respect him as far as I could throw him.