Have you ever written a eulogy for a family member? I don't know how to write one and I must?

Question

My gran just passed and I would like to give her a eulogy but I’m not sure how to go about writing one as I’ve only ever been to one funeral before when I was a small girl. How do you write one? Is it very hard to give it? My husband is thinking it might be too much to bear? Her funeral is on Sunday. Do I have enough time to write it properly? I don’t know if I should sing something instead but I don’t know how to chose a song. She loved so many!

Answer 1

It should not be hard for you to write about you grand, a eulogy just tell about how sweet she was how caring and what she did for other what she would do for the family she went above and beyond, it might be hard on you emotionally, I think singing a song will be more easy on you.

Answer 2

I’m incredibly sorry that your gran passed. My awesome, beloved great grandmother passed away last Dec, & I was in a similar predicament because I wanted to give her eulogy but wasn’t sure how to go about writing one. Her funeral was the first one I’d ever attended, so I really had no reference, but I knew it was something I had to do to honor her. I found an article online about how to write a eulogy with the basic structure, and began writing it at 1 in the morning the day of her funeral. It took me about five hours. Here are the tips, as I recall:

~Chose a theme or motif to center the eulogy around. Nana’s signature color was green – she wore it nearly every day – and so I looked up the symbolism and characteristics of the color & made it the theme of her eulogy. I began every paragraph by describing a meaning of the color, and then based the paragraph on how she displayed those characteristics. Like “Green is the color of generosity” and then I spoke about her generous spirit and philanthropic work; “green is the color of creativity” and then I talked about her painting and singing and the way she enriched people’s lives with her talents. I couldn’t attend my grandfather’s funeral in March, but I wrote his eulogy and my dad read it. I based his on songs by Johnny Cash, his favorite singer, & the way the morals of the songs represented his life.

~ Summarize their life story. I explained where they were born, stories they’d told me about their childhood, the love they had for their husband and wife and children, the trips they took, the trials they faced and overcame (both lost children), their faith, and their sayings.

~Include personal stories and anecdotes, and a bit of humor. It’s a sad occasion, but it’s also a celebration of her life.

~ Be sure to write about how she loved others in your family. I included a line about their relationship with each of their children &  grandchildren – the things they’d told me they were proud of, their affection for them.

Start by remembering the stories she told you, the things you loved most about her, and what was most important to her. Write down 10 adjectives you’d use to describe her.

I actually found a lot of inspiration for what to put in the eulogy from meeting family members at the viewing the night before. There were things I’d never known about her until then – like how she took in her cousins during the war – and they became a part of the eulogy. I came home from the viewing, drank a pot of coffee and started working.

I understand why your husband doesn’t want you to give the eulogy….but if it is something your heart compels you to do, then you should. My mom really, really did not want me to give it because she thought I was too young and that it would be too hard for me and that I might break down when I was up there. The way I made it through was with a theme song. I know that sounds so random, but there is this song that she taught me when I was little and it’s so sweet, and anytime I was going to cry I took a moment and focused on it, and it helped. I also prayed that morning for strength. I cried a bit during the eulogy but I made it through without breaking down, and then I sang the song. It was “A La Claire Fontaine,” and it was a song that was special to us. Is there one that is special to the two of you?

Writing and giving the eulogy was really hard to do, but of all the things I’ve done in my life so far it’s what I’m the proudest of, because she was such a strong and courageous woman, and it was totally the kind of thing she would’ve done.

My heart goes out to you, & I wish you peace, strength and inspiration. If you’d like to read the eulogies for more ideas, just email me & I’ll send them to you.

Pax vobiscum (may peace be with you)