Have you found that some people instantly see you as a potential love threat?

Question

I'm sure you get this happens with males and female but I've had this happen once or twice when a fellow straight female takes a dislike to me, or seems to be cold and prickly until they find out I am married and in love then they are very friendly. Does anyone else experience this?

I found this with my neighbours that moved in, the man was very friendly and the woman ignored me. But when we invited them over she laughed and was suprised because she though my hubby and I were brother and sister (??). After she learned this she was lovely and very friendly.

Do some people (maybe if they feel insecure) tend to see another male or female as a love threat?

Answer 1

I didn't think so, but recently a female friend I've known for a while just found I was married.

Since she found that out, she has been a LOT more friendly and affectionate to me and acts less jealous.

Weird!!!!

Answer 2

Yes, but men do it too. I've had this conversation with some of my significant others in life.

Me: "I'm going to have a couple of drinks after work with Jeff, a guy I work with."

Him: "Oh." [sullen]

Me: "Jeff's very g*y."

Him: "Oh! Have a good time then."

Answer 3

Definitely, and I think we all are guilty of it to a point.

If I come somewhere to meet up with my girlfriend, and some dude is all over her, would it please me? Not at all. Would I like/trust the guy? Most certainly not.

Likewise, if a guy who's friends with her is cold with me or barely even wants to know my name, i probably won't like him either. If one of my friends has a boyfriend, I'd most certainly want to meet him unless I was looking for more than just being a friend. If he means a lot to her, he's probably a cool guy, and i'd more than likely get along with him. Friends accepting a significant other is very important. Not even making an effort to puts me off.

Sometimes people just get bad vibes for whatever reason. Perhaps the woman was busy/stressed because of the move the first day? Or maybe she felt like you were ignoring her (and not vice-versa)? In any case, I do think we see people as potential threats, but I also think we normally are careful before completely diagnosing them as such. Of course, I'm sure there are many people who get jealous entirely too easily.

Answer 4

This is very common and does not mean you or your neighbor have done anything wrong.  Females in most species are  "programmed" to hone in on potential threats to their territory and immediately put up their guard until they can be confident that no threat exists.  That's the scientific explanation, but it could be something simple like the husband made a stupid comment like "our new neighbour is hot" and that pissed off the wife.

Answer 5

I used run into this all the time.  Because I had my son so young he's drawn me into a peer group at least 10 years my senior.  It was fairly ugly when he was little and I'd go to hockey and all the mid 30's moms would give the early 20's mom (me) dirty looks because they thought their husbands were checking me out.

Answer 6

I have been on both sides of the fence.  I never dislike a female though because I feel threatened by her but more like I distrust her because she is gives off a sense of one of those women.  The women (like a few that have answered here) would gladly give a married man the opportunity to stray.  The women who shows a complete disrespect for marriage and the relationships of others.  Although I know my hubby won't cheat I hate a women who would like to give it a go.  To me she is just disrespecting my marriage, my husband and myself.  Not saying you're one of those but she may have thought she caught you looking or flirting with her hubby and that made her uneasy.  Its as if a women is subliminally telling the other women's husband "I can do it better", its just wrong.  Too many people; both men and women; are to willing to commit adultery now a days.

Answer 7

I have a girlfriend who is just stunning and I do admit that introducing my husband to her was awkward for me at first. I kept thinking how he must be so attracted to her and on and on.....I eventually got over it and remembered that even if he finds her attractive, he still loves me so.....but yeah I've had a couple of women that were initally cold to me (hard to say why though)

Answer 8

YES. One time when I met a couple through a friend, I went to shake the woman's hand (first) and her boyfriend pushed her hand away and shook my hand instead.

I'm very s**y and it makes a lot of guys with girlfriends and wives uneasy. Not only am I a "potential" threat.. I"m a REAL threat too!!! Because I WILL sleep with their partners given the opportunity...

Answer 9

The EGO is such a funny thing. Yes you may be that attractive and it is possible also that you over step boundaries without being aware of it. There are some women that are happily married but on some level still need to know that they are attractive to other men. Just another way to look at your situation.

Answer 10

Yes I've seen that.  These people are obviously insecure in their relationship, and are blaming the wrong person for it.  They don't want to consider the fact that their partner is the one that should be watched, after all, if their partner is trustworthy, then they don't have to waste the energy to worry about anyone else.  It's like blaming the other woman instead of your husband.  Deal with the person you are involved with, like the husband who caught his wife cheating and shot her said, it's better to shoot her once than to have to shoot every man she brings home with her.