Have you gone veg without your husband/wife?

Question

I really want to stop eating meat, and I have successfully got my family off of beef and red meat. however, my husband is not really happy about the beef ban; he grew up VERY meat-and-potatoes. he likes many of the vegetarian suppers I cook, but he is not even close to being ready to cut out all the meat.

do you have a similar story in your life? how did you avoid conflict with your spouse when you decided to change your eating habits? I dont want to convince him to change, I'd like him to come to the decision on his own someday, but I am in charge of the cooking around here, so if I dont buy meat he doesnt eat meat, and I know that will bug him. what can I do?

Answer 1

Why do you want everyone else to be a vegetarian as well? Just let him be.

Answer 2

I'd suggest only you going veg. He won't be able to complain, because he, himself, can eat meat. He'll have to change when he wants to. Inform him on the dangers of meat, and what it poses to men. Heart problems, and all the chemicals are not the best thing. Let him know that if HE wants meat, HE needs to cook it. Best of luck, doll.

Answer 3

This is never going to end up well. My Mother decided to be a vegetarian about 6 months ago. My dad was in no way happy about the decision or open to changes in his eating habits. Being a more modern family... everyone was advised to eat whatever they wanted.

We ended up with two vegetarians, one pescatarian (no red meat or meat off the bone) and two omnivores. Dinner time was a nut house trying to please everyone. We all did our best and cooked together and tried to make the meals work.

If it is only you and your husband I advise throwing in some meat to his dishes to make him happy.

Long story short: something had to give. Now we have 4 meat eaters and my sister is still holding out as a veg head. Good luck with your life change I hope you can make it work for your family and please everyone. Remember that you can't change other people (but maybe you could make him cook once in a while).

Answer 4

I'm vegetarian and my husband is not.  I decided to become vegetarian after 10 years of marriage.  We eat only vegetarian dinners but he has no issue cooking himself a steak if he desires one.  We compromise and will cook with quorn or those morningstar farms crumbles once or twice a week and that satisfies him since it similar to "meat".   I won't buy it or cook it but I deal with him eating it if he wants it.   Last night we had chili made with the crumbles...it's so close..it would fool almost anyone.  Marriage is compromise but should not be about what food is on the plate.

Answer 5

my bf eats meat i'm a vegetarian.  he started eating a lot of the soy "fake" meats.  this way we can still enjoy a lot of the same meals together and they taste great.  he likes knowing they are healthier than eating meat too.  for instance i can add the ground soy meat to pasta sauce for "meat sauce" or i can put it in burritos and tacos.  we'll have soy ribs with potatos and veggies.  i'll make veggie burgers on buns with the fixings and sweet potato fries on the side.  he loves the soy sausage patties and so do i.  i made a veggie shepards pie using soy ground meat in place of the real meat and you could barely tell the difference.  veggie lasagna is often prefered to the meat lasagna by people who eat meat.  eggplant parm also.  there's an assortment of soups you can still make, just use vegetable stock instead of chicken or beef.  i buy the morninstar farms soy steak strips and saute them in a1 steak sauce.  i like them on the side of spanish rice and veggies.  these soy meats really really help us to be able to enjoy a lot more meals together and they do taste good.

he's also a big boy, if he wants more meat he can buy or make his own meat or eat it when you go out :)

Answer 6

I just make something separate for myself.  It's a pain sometimes but worth it.  My husband appreciates it, and so he will totally support me if I make a veg meal for everyone once a week or so, and sometimes he'll cook one for me to show his appreciation.  There was never really any conflict at all.  Sure he teases once in a while but it's all friendly and fun

Answer 7

I've always been a vegetarian, so my husband knew what he was getting into.  I've never cooked meat for him.  We tend to "fend for ourselves" when it comes to meals because we have no children.  I'd like it if we ate meals together as a family, but his response to that is, "But then I'd have to eat like you."

Which is kind of funny actually.

Answer 8

I am sorry you received such judgmental comments. Some people are just rude.

I have found that by telling my spouse why I choose to be vegetarian, he's less resentful of my cooking mostly meat free dishes for the family. Moreover, if my husband wants something to eat that I don't cook, he either cooks it himself, or buys it himself now because he says he doesn't want it to stress me out. I think if you talk to your husband about why you are vegetarian and stress that you don't want him to change but that you feel strongly about changing yourself, he'll be understanding. Moreover, you could still cook a small meat dish (I do that sometimes), or buy a rotisserie chicken or sliced turkey for sandwiches once a week, so he's getting something he likes to eat. I also cook really good vegetarian dishes, and he often comments about how that was better than anything with meat in it. I get many of my recipes from Vegetarian Times, and so far, we've been doing OK.

The biggest conflicts occur with other family members (his and my extended family) when they get stressed about what to feed me at big get-togethers. I solve this by telling everyone to continue making what they will and I will eat what I like (as does everyone else) and that they don't need to worry about my feeling as if I'm excluded since it's a choice I've made. I make it clear I don't expect them to try to cook vegetarian food (that is a big stress factor for people who don't know how to cook vegetarian food) and will sometimes also check with them ahead of time about what entrees (like a casserole) I might be able to bring that would help alleviate their stress. I try to make it clear that I am not judging their choice of food, but just like people who don't eat beets or broccoli, I don't eat meat... So far, by planning ahead and having good conversations, I've had very little conflict about it.

I probably cause more stress for friend when going out to eat and they're trying to choose a restaurant, but we deal with that with humor and good grace. Even at BBQ places or meat houses, I've been able to eat at the salad bar or get a baked potato and other food. I've never gone hungry.

Good luck on your journey to resolve this. I know it's not always as easy as I'm making it sound. My friends who are vegetarians also face lots of ridicule and worry from family who think they're starving themselves or simply don't understand their choices, so I know it's not an easy thing to go through, but it sounds like your husband is understanding and that you're pretty flexible about making him happy, too. That's an excellent start!