Have you got a funny joke ?

Question

Sitting here filling in a job application for a job i've already got(restructuring rubbish) and need a good laugh. Have you got a real bellyache joke to tell me ?

Answer 1

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

three friends drinking on a rooftop, each of them belong to a different religion,. An moslem, a christian and a bhudist. for some reason they entered into an argument which religion is better, untill the moslem came up with an i dea. "Why dont we go ahead and jump off from this roof and whoever is alive when we hit the ground means his religion is better." toxic and all they all agreed. the christian said " why dont you go first," to the moslem, since youre the one who thought of it anyways. So the moslem agreed, jump he goes screaming w/ his lungs out ALAH, ALAH, hit the pavement brains all over the place, dead cold.. TSK TSK said the christians, seems like there god is not that powerful after all. the bhudist then said, your turn then, to the christian.. having doubts he said, why dont you go first i have to finish my drink first. The bhudist silently agreed.. jump he goes as well, keep saying ahummmm,, bhudaa, bhudaaa, came 5th floor his still falling, and the christian was already laughing, thinking that his not going to jump anymore.. came the gound, the bhudist floated all the way back to the roof. the christian was surprised.. Your turn now said the bhudist. umm, afraid to be called a coward he obliged. He jumped off the roof and yelled,.. JESUS<<< JESUS< JESUS,, over and over again. came 5th floor nothings happening, he was still yelling jessus but a bit scared, came 3rd floor, he now see the brain of his friend all over the pavement, he's still yelling jesus but more like whining already, came ground floor he yelled.. AHUMMM, , BHudaa.. bhudaaa,, He floated,, all the way back to the roof.. "whew that was close."

Answer 3

No sorry.        =[

I really cant think of anything

Answer 4

Yes I have plenty and many jokes thank you for asking =D

Answer 5

I have a great chat up line..

boy: Have you seen my magic watch? It tells me things about anyone.. what's that watch?  .. she isn't wearing any knickers?

girl:  yes I am

boy:  Oh sorry. the watch is 15 minutes fast

Answer 6

Yep, I have tons-But here is my favourite:

Q. What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios?

A. 'Look: Doughnut Seeds!'

Answer 7

there was a blond girl and redhead girl were driving down a road and go off into the lake. the redhead came up fast but the blond was down there for 4 hours. she finally came up. the redhead asks "what took ya so long?" the blond says "I COULDN'T GET THE TAIL GATE OPEN!!"

Answer 8

Well,

For school at lunch I had "Savoury Honey Cashews", and I didn't like them so started to throw them and people and places (I'm not popular). I have an idiot friend who did it as well, and he got carried away with a battle with someone else, so they were flying everywhere; so he took the bag from me. I got really angry and I shouted out, 'DUDE WTF, give back my bag of nuts'.

'Grow your own nuts and let go of mine' I screamed.

'I wanna eat my nuts, not have you throw them around at peoples faces' I continued screaming.

After a few more explosions of orgasmic anger and distress, I realised what I had said, but unfortunately so had a teacher nearby, so I got a detention for my nuts being taken.

Answer 9

A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

The son asks, "Dad is we poisonous snakes?"

The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?"

"Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

joke2

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.

Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.

They all said, “This tastes like p**p!" Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

joke3

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white box which served as the bug's house.

He took his purchase home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND LEARN ABOUT THE LORD?"

(YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!)

And a little voice came out of the box.........

"I heard you the first time.......I'm putting on my shoes!"

Answer 10

Yeah i got a really funny one!!

There was three people, shut up, manners, and poo!!! Poo got ran over by a car so shut up went to the hospital. The doctor said to shut up,

" What is you name?" Shut up replies, " Shut up" The doctor says "Where is you manners??" . " around the corner picking up poo!!!"

did ya like it??? lol

Answer 11

lol, if you go to my questions page, there's three jokes on there (the latest ones... sort of) - everyone who answered them found them funny

EDIT: i'll just give you the webadress:

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

have fun =D