Have you read 'The Girls Who Went Away'?

Question

This book has been mentioned on this site several times-have you read it?

Answer 1

I read it last summer and it changed my whole outlook and attitude toward the women who surrendered their babies to adoption.  It gave me an insight into what my own mother had been through at the time she was pregnant with me.

Even though I read those pages and got alot from it, there was still something in me that still couldn't quite believe how things were done back then - it wasn't until I actually spoke to mothers of that era and heard it first hand from their own mouths, that it began to sink in; like, wow, that stuff really did happen to those women.

Having read the book, I now have a huge amount of empathy and compassion for those women, including my own mother, that I just didn't have before.  

It's an eye-opener and a must-read for anyone.  I think particularly for adoptees of that era, who may benefit from the knowledge that they weren't callously cast aside by heartless women ( I admit I was a bit mad at my Mom prior to reading this book)

Answer 2

no but i really want too... i hear it is really good :)

Answer 3

Yes, I have.  It has some very sad stories about the way the girls/women were treated and the way their lives changed.  But there are also some stories that ended well, where some of the women got to meet & have relationships with the children they put up for adoption.

Answer 4

I just finished reading this important book a couple of days ago. I'm so grateful to the people in this forum who mentioned it! It's an AWESOME book.

Not only does the author write the stories of many different mothers who relinquinshed, she explores the history & politcs, the changing social & cultural scenes, and so much more.  

It was a very emotional read for me.  I was an adoptee from the BSE.  And a teen mom when the tide began to change in the mid 1970's, when unwed mom's began to keep their babies.  In 1970, 80% of unwed mom's relinquished. By 1980, only 4% did.  

I married my daughters father (at 16). We divorced when I was 18. My a.mom pressured me to relinquish my then 1 year old daughter.  I experienced the shame & pressure to relinquish & was told I it was the "unselfish" thing to do & "if you really love her, you'll give her up".  

Even in reunion, we can never recover the years lost to adoption.

ETA: to happy-gurl; you could NOT have read the book b/c none of the woman said they "wanted to give their babies up because they knew their life would be held back." WAL!

Answer 5

No, I have not, yet.

Answer 6

No, but i m interested. Have you read it?

Answer 7

Yes I have.  It really woke me up about my natural mother's situation.

Answer 8

This was one of the books that I pretty much devoured over a single weekend.  I haven't found my birth family yet - but between Ann Fessler's book and a lot more non-ID - I'm getting a better picture of what my birthmother must have experienced.

For those interested in the "Baby Scoop Era" of the 1940s-1960s - this is one excellent book.  The other one I would recommend is "The Baby Thief".  If "The Girls Who Went Away" doesn't get your blood boiling - "The Baby Thief" certainly will.

Answer 9

Sounds intereting, I wwant to read it now!

Answer 10

Yes and I have corresponded with one of the girls from the book. Some women were completley taken advantage but some of them were selfish and wanted to give their babies up because they knew their life would be held back.

Answer 11

Yes, it was heartwrenching. It helped me better understand what my best friends sister went through. She killed herself.

Answer 12

Yes.  While I'm not of the baby scoop era, but of the era of "choice," I related quite a bit to most of the book.  It really spoke to who I was and where my thoughts were during that time that I relinquished.  It also speaks to where I am while waiting, and what will come if and when reunion comes.  By reading that book, it was one of the most emotionally gut wrenching books for me to read, but I think it helped with really owning my experience and why I shouldn't feel silenced.

Answer 13

Yes, oh wise one I have, do you have any other suggestions so I can think just like you do

Answer 14

I have, but I couldn't get through the entire book.  It was very triggering for me.

I am sending it to my mother so that she can read it and hopefully find some healing from it; she and I were BSE victims and I think she doesn't really understand how common her experience really was.