Having a small wedding, what to do about invites?

Question

My fiance and I want a small wedding. But we come from rather large families. We want to invite the people most important to us , aunts unlce etc without having to invite a million cousins. We are welcoming their young children, but most of our cousins are grown and we really don't have much to do with them. Is it ok to send the invites to some , but to the rest send announcements? How would we do this? If you have or are doing this , what is/was your experience with it? Thank you so much for your input!!

Answer 1

If we go ahead with a full wedding (we are keen to elope) it will be family only..and really you need to be strict on yourself to who you invite or dont invite- either all cousins or none, all children or no children.

You could send the announcements out before the wedding, just be sure to note on there that the wedding will be a private occasion.

Answer 2

Hi and congratulations!

That is perfectly acceptable.  Here is what you need to do.  Let's say you are inviting Aunt Sally and Uncle Fred and they have two children living at home...Taylor and Megan.  I would be very specific when addressing the invitations:

Outer envelope:

Mrs. and Mrs. Fred Thompson

address

city, state, zip

IF you are having an inner envelope, then write:

Aunt Sally and Uncle Fred

Taylor and Megan

If you are only doing one envelope (outer), then write:

Mr. and Mrs. Fred Thompson

Taylor Thompson and Megan Thompson

address

city, state, zip

Now, let's say Aunt Sally calls to inquire about her grown children. Let's hope she doesn't...but if she has the nerve...then simply say, "Mike and I want to keep our guest list on the smaller side, so we cannot afford to invite any more guests."

Then, AFTER the wedding, simply send an announcement to the others.  Use Google to research wedding announcement wording.  There are lots of examples.  Remember, though, that announcements get sent AFTER the wedding.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

I'm just inviting the folks directly and will send an announcement to others. Like you, my cousins are all adults and I have very little interaction with most of them.  However, in my case, I am getting married during the work day, so really, only those who are really interested in attending are going to take off time anyway.

Answer 4

i think that invites to a few would be good and then send announcements to the others and then after the ceremony write somthing like a newsletter and maybe a picture to those who got announcements, maybe send a party favor with the picture

anyway congradulations and i hope these sugestions help

Answer 5

You can definitely only invite the aunts and uncles. Be sure to draw the line there for each family, because if some kids get invited and others dont, there are bound to be hurt feelings. Even if some kids are grown and others still at home, I forsee trouble with this. A good rule of thumb is draw the line across the board.  

Answer 6

I have a rather large family with first, second, and third cousins galore.  What my cousins have done is smart in my book.  They send an invite to the aunts/uncles only and casually mention (in person or on phone) that the cousins are welcome to come, just reflect the number on the RSVP card.  What that does is allow for those who really want to be there to come, and those who would've come out of the feel of obligation to pass on it.  That's how I've seen it.  I think of the 10 weddings my dad has been invited to in the past few years, I have attended maybe two of them.  Some cousins I am closer to, some I am not.  Most of the time I still send a card and gift of money to the weddings I pass on.  I do agree with others in that it should be even -- all or none invited.  Congrats & good luck!

Answer 7

It's according as to what you consider to be small.  I understand about the million of cousins, but in my opinion if you send out announcements to the rest of the family is that not saying hey we are getting married but your not invited.  I think that I would send out invitations to the ones that are important to you, and let word of mouth do the rest or just do a wedding announcement in the local paper after the ceremony.  Congrats and Good Luck!

Answer 8

If you are getting married in a church or the like, you can invite all of your relatives and friends, then serve simple refreshments right after while you are getting your pictures with the wedding party.

Then you can send special invitations to those whom you want to attend the reception which would take place at a different location other than the church where you could enjoy your time with that small group that you prefer to invite.

Just an idea.

Answer 9

Here's my 2 cents worth on this.  I'd say you can invite aunts and uncles without inviting cousins, but if you invite 1 cousin, you best be prepared to invite them all, at least on that side of the family (mother's or father's).  My husband's cousin did it recently, invited some cousins and not others.  I was talking with another cousin's wife, assumed they were invited, and they weren't.  It was very awkward for me, and I think they got upset that we were invited and they weren't.  

But, in the end, it is YOUR wedding, and you have the right to invite or not invite whomever you so choose.  Just be prepared to explain controversial decisions if you make them.  And if you send announcements, have them ready to go on wedding day, and simply drop them in the mailbox on your wedding day.  An announcement can be printed on the same stationery as the invite, but worded like this:

Bride's parents

and

Groom's parents

would like to announce the marriage of their children

Bride

and

Groom

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Or you can go less formal than that, but that's the formal way to do it.  

Good luck!

Answer 10

I am planning a wedding and was having the same problem.  I spent a lot of time worring over it and then decided that our wedding day was exactly that, our day!  I invited who I wanted and am sending announcments to the rest.  We compromised by deciding to have a family picnic after our wedding and we are ininviting everyone.  It is going to be very casual and pt luck so the cost is low and no one has hurt feelings.

Answer 11

you could always have another party for the ones who wren't and the celebration already