Having a third child.?

Question

I'm interested in hearing from people about how they manage to survive in todays world with more than 2 kids?

I have a 5 year old and 2.5 year old. My husband and I really want to have another child and possibly one more after that. My concern is raising them finanically. We're young (23 and 24), he works in a good job, and I work part time. We're debt free (finally!). Everyone that I've spoken to says that we're insane to have another one with the cost of living today, and that it is only going to go up. How do you survive? Do you just make it work?

Answer 1

I am pregnant with my 3rd child. And when I found out I was pregnant, I cried. Not that I didn't want another child, I just thought that it would be hard with the cost of living. My son is 11 and on a select baseball team (very expensive) and my 3 year old daughter is in gymnastics. We live on a budget but we do make room in the budget for our kids' hobbies.

My main concern was that I was going to go back to school in March. I had some complications with the pregnancy that forced me to start working from home, and postpone going back to school. But our plans have just changed. Now I am going to go back to school next March instead. And working from home had actually been a God send! Now I can be at home with the baby when she is in the most formative stages. It will also help me to get my degree faster, as I can work at home all hours, so I don't have to only take certain classes because of the time.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you will manage. We take what is given and make the best out of it, that's human nature. If you think you can make it work with another child, then go for it. My mom had 3 kids and raised us all by herself. Most of my friends have 3 kids and they do just fine. I bet if you looked up averages, most families have an average of 3 kids. If they can make it work, you can too.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I am 38 and have three girls  aged 8,5 & 4mths.

I didn't want a third and my husband nagged me for three years to have another one and I said I was over it and we couldn't afford another mouth to feed.

Strangely and unexpectantly I got pregnant..I was so upset.

Now I love my little baby...I have taken time off work and we seem to manage by just being careful about what we spend.

It may get harder as they grow up...but I guess we will cross those bridges as we come to them.

If you are good people and have a good family network...another baby will always be welcome and you will find ways to manage.

Answer 3

I cant answer this but thank you for posting it because I was about to ask the same thing...Im 21...my oldest is 4 then 2 and im pregnant now...I am so nervous no thinking we will manage...but your question, information, and everyones answers help alot...thank you...i budget and we manage our 2 kids so i think if we continue to budget and work well with the money we will do fine...Thank You....good Luck to you!

Answer 4

You will be fine. I am having my 5th and last. My husband makes good money, and I have stayed home with the kids. Like someone said once, You just throw another potato on the table. Kids are only as expensive as you make them. I go to consignment stores for their clothes, then resale the clothes they outgrow. I cook a lot at home.

I also do not fall into the pressure of doing what all the soccer moms are doing or buying for their kids. You have to be secure in who you are as a mother and woman, and not others shake your beliefs. You will always have the nay Sayer's, but I question their motives. I believe in big families, and they don't. They only see the negative, not what is possible. If you want something enough in your heart, you make it happen. It works out in the end. You may not be rich or drive the best car, but you will be happy.

Answer 5

If you can afford it why not?

I am 21.. husbands 27 we just had our second child.. I would have another right now.. however i want to wait till we renovate our house... its a new house but i need more bedrooms as i earn my income being a homestay host.. so i need atleast 6bedroosm not 4... Lol... I think do whats right for you and your family.. With my eldest daughter we buy good clothing for her.. as we can use them for our youngest< only if they're in good condition.. I noticed with our new born it was easier then our first because the only thing i've had to buy are clothes, nappies and wipes.. which is the same as before as i've just toilet trained my 2 yr old.. so really the only expense is clothes.. and we've been given alot of clothes as gifts.. so rarely spent much so far.. Good luck..and it's not hard... like my mother said the other day.. having 2 kids or 6 kids.. its just more mouths you need to feed and bodies you need to clean.. Lol it's true.

Answer 6

Kids don't need the best of everything - as long as you live within your means and understand the difference between needs and wants, have another one, you'll be fine.

We have 3 kids and it works out great for us - I don't compare us to anyone else - our needs are taken care of - what more is necessary?

Answer 7

I am also young with kids (18 and I have 5, but I won't delve into that). My kids are 4, 2, and 12days (triplets) and it's a struggle. I inherited $25,000 of my grandfather's money just last year and it was a lot of help especially with the triplets arriving here. My husband works as a constructor and I am a secretary.

We shop in bulk a lot (Sam's Club is our best friend) and we clip coupons. We shop at Wal-Mart for the clothes and my husband and I make a lot of sacrifices for our kids. Even though we have that $25,000 extra it is put away for a time when money is in dire need. Or for the kids education.

Answer 8

We're also young with three young kids.  I'm 25 and my husband is 29.  Our children are 3.5, 2 and 1.  We make it work just they same way people with only 1 or 2 children make it work and I'm even blessed enough to be a full-time stay-at-home mom/wife.  We sacrifice things that we don't really need to make sure that everyone has the things that they do need.  Being debt free is the best thing.  We don't buy anything on credit.  That alone saves more money than anything!  I budget everything.  We don't buy on impulse.  I buy in bulk when I can if its something we will definitely use.  I buy used items if buying new isn't cost effective.  You just have to be generally smart with your money.  It sounds like you guys are doing great already!

Answer 9

I was having the same dilemma. I have two children a 4yo daughter and a 19 month old son and we were tossing up if we wanted a third, if we could cope financially and mentally, lol. Well the decision was taken out of our hands, I am 27 weeks pregnant and I found out when I was 8 weeks gone, lol. I was a bit devastated. I worry that we wont be able to cope financially and My mental health will take a bit of a battering, but we have no choice now.....have to make the best of it and all that. You have to weigh up the idea of having just one more child (at the moment there are two kids and you have two hand, two legs for laps etc) having a third can mean that a child can miss out for attention when all the others are gathering, doesn't mean you love them any less. You are young and if financially stable and really want another child then I guess go for it, if you are still uncertain think about this.........how would you feel if you were told that you couldn't have anymore kids because it might kill you (hypothetically). If you are upset by the prospect of not being able to have more then you have your answer. If it doesn't bother you, you also have your answer.

Answer 10

I HAVE A SISTER THTS 28 AND SHES HAS 5 KIDS , BUT IF U AND UR HUSBAND REALLY WANT OT HAVE ANOTHER CHILD AND U GUYS HVE MONEY FOR UR KIDS ND U GUYS THEN GO FOR IT , BUT IF U DONT HVE A GGOD JOB ND U GUYS R STRUGGULING AND CANT AFFORD THINGS THAN U GUYS SHULD WAIT UNTIL U GUYS GTE CAUGHT UP THT MY ADVICE ,

Answer 11

I am one of three kids, Mum and Dad have said in the past that the more children, the more love there is to share..... which i agree to.

However, fights between children happen a lot more between three children than even numbers.....

Having another child is a great idea, if you love them and care for them then you'll make it work (financially)......

Mum and Dad had the same problem when it came to mu younger sister, yeah they hit a few bumps in the road but they are through and have three loving grown up children.

Besides, the more children you have, the more presents you get when they are grown up.... : )

Answer 12

I came from a family of three kids. Growing up we always teamed up on the one out. . . . me & my brother against my sister. my brothe& sister against me, me & my sister against my brother. . . . long story short,  we jockied around the odds. To this day we are not much of friends as we are still just siblings.

I myself raised 2 kids. today they are 23 & 21. A daughter and a son. They were always equals in debats - ideas and plans. They not only are great siblings, they are great friends that choose to spend time with each other.

Large families don't always equal more love, just spread out  a little differantly.

Answer 13

My kids were 4 and 2 when I started seriously thinking about having a third, so I asked everyone I knew who had three or more kids to tell me honestly what they thought about it.  Of course they all said they loved all their kids and couldn't imagine life without them... but they also made me aware of some of the various problems it posed.  

For instance, when you go out to eat, forget about sitting in a booth or a table for four; you'll be always be waiting for a larger table. At amusement parks, someone will always have to ride by themselves.  At concerts or plays, its harder to get 5 or more seats together.  Flying anywhere becomes prohibitively expensive... and bargain air fares are harder to get, because there's often not enough seats at the lower fares.  When the kids are older and all involved in activities, you can always count on conflicts.  With two kids, you can split up:  your husband goes to the baseball tournament while you go to the ballet recital; but who will take the third child to her soccer game?

Most people felt that their younger kids had been somewhat "cheated", as far as being able to do sports or other activities; not necessarily because of the money, but because of the time.  The older kids were so busy with the activities they'd become involved in, that there just wasn't enough time for the younger kids to do much... besides get dragged along to the older kids' practices and games.  When time isn't an issue, money often is.  My daughter's best friend is an extremely talented gymnast, but has had to quit now that her parents are paying for her 3 older siblings' college tuitions.  It's really a shame.

After weighing all the pros and cons, I decided to stick with two.  And I'm really happy with that decision.  If we'd had any more, I don't think we'd have the time, money or energy to do all the things we want for and with our kids... not just activities, vacations and material things, but time and attention as well.  True, they'd be fine without some of those things, but I'm glad we're able to provide them.

I hope this helps some with your decision!