Having another child? teen parent already?

Question

im 19 and have a 3yr old little girl, how long do you think I should wait before having another baby? I dont want one for a while yet cos I wanna live my life a little! My boyfriends would like to have another one within a year or so.... but I dont think so. I don't want there to be a huge age gap between them, but I'm considering my own age aswell! What age do you guys think I should have another child? I know it's up to me, but I just wanna know what other people think?

Answer 1

I would advise you not to do so. Raising a child is hard. I had a baby when I was sixteen and I was blessed to have mother that helped me through it all but at nineteen, I'm assuming you are not rich. You shouldn't want a life depending on the Department of Social services for childcare, assistance and food stamps which is what you are going to have if you keep on going.  Not that its anything wrong with any of it, because I had to rely on these services for a short time myself, but while I was doing so, I was in school working on a degree. Do you have a degree? Did you finish high school? Can you afford to pay child care by yourself if you had to? That boyfriend could leave at anytime. You should want the best out of life for yourself and your children and I don't think its fair to bring another child into the world that you cannot support and give all the things they want and deserve out of life. And that's not to say that you are not giving them those things but at nineteen with a three year old and possibly another in the near future,  I just find that hard to do.I remember feeling guilty when I could not buy my child a toy or clothes right when he needed them and I vowed not to have another child until I was married and financially stable. I am financially stable now, but not married yet and my child is 10 years old. I got on birth control and stayed on it all these years because that's how important it was to me. And also, a man can leave you at any time. I am a single parent and that made my life a whole lot harder. So you shouldnt listen to what the has to say unless he has made a commitment to be your husband and is ready to put a ring on your finger. There is nothing cute about being a single parent with a whole lot of children. I'm sorry if I sound harsh and I know I probably wont get the best answer, but I had to keep it real with you. I have been where you are and I know how hard life can be and  how bad the economy is. Live a little, get yourself right and  get a husband and then think about a baby. Do focus so much on spacing and the age of the children, focus on being able to take care of them. It's not like your married and making millions or are you? Remember, think before you act. Think long and hard and God Bless You.

Answer 2

I wouldn't be in a rush.  I would want to be a little more established before thinking about that.  An age gap is not that big a deal as being able to support your family.

Marriage doesn't guarantee a man will be there...a husband can leave you just as fast as a boyfriend...the important thing for me would just be to make sure I am stable enough to take care of the family I have right now.

Answer 3

Just wait till you feel that you are ready. The age gap is nice, and when you have another one you can have a third closer in age to the second. You will have a great time bonding with your first, and two kids is A LOT of work compared to one...you should do what feels right for you

Answer 4

Well don't let your boyfriend talk you in to anything you don't want to do. Think long and hard about it. Have you finished high school, and are you going to go to college? Remember you need to have a job to support your children, so think of your education first....

I was a teenage mom as well, I had my boy at 16, but I graduated from high school at age 19 and went to college, for 4 years, in my last year of college I got pregnant with my second, he was born 5 days after my college graduation, and I only got to stay home with him for 2 months because I really wanted to start my career as a nurse. Now I am almost 26 and my husband is asking for the 3rd, but I am not ready so he keep on asking........

I feel that between work, house work, and kids, I have enough on my plate.....so do some thinking , and make the right choice, it is ok if there is a gap in age, so you first might be able to be the little helpere when the second come along.....good luck

Answer 5

I think the main thing you need to ask yourself is if YOU are ready for another baby. Having a child at 16 must have been hard. Are you ready to go through that again? Are you financially stable enough to be able to take care of not only a new baby, but your daughter and yourself?

You need to take all these things into account and then decide if you're ready. (By the way, I don't think an age gap is such a bad thing. I only have one brother who is six years older than me, and I actually prefer having an age gap between us).

Answer 6

I don't think there is a specific age you should be going for.  Have your family when you feel ready to take on the responsibility and really want a child.  Don't worry about the "age gap."  It is more important for you to be ready to handle 2 children than it is for your children to be close in age.  

Set some goals for yourself to meet - such as graduating from college or trade school - before you decide to add another child to your family.  

Think about what would happen if something suddenly happened to your boyfriend.  It would be hard enough to be a single mom to one child at 19, but much harder with two.  Whatever you decide, make sure you prepare yourself for any eventuality.

Answer 7

I think that u should wait until u r ready for another baby not ur boyfriend cus for one he isn't the one going through the labor. I also don't think that an age gap is that big of a deal my brother is 9 yrs older than me and we get along get he is like my protecter.

Answer 8

Don't rush into having another child.