Having only 1 child, is this selfish of me?

Question

I have 1 child who is 3 years old. We've decided to not have any more children, because we want money and vacations. We want to enjoy life and not be weighed down. I want to be able to shop without worrying. I want fancy cars. I want my husband and I to have more than 1 romantic vacation a year and go fun places like another country. I want to afford everything and anything for my child. I want to be able to give him a nice car when he's 16. I want to be able to put him thru any college.Then I want to retire early rather than so late I'm too old to enjoy my retirement. Am I selfish?

Answer 1

Your not really selfish because everyone wants this life for them and there family .. but too me if you can afford all of that now i would think you could afford it with 2 children . I think 2 children would be great so the only child will have someone to play with. Trust me if your an only child you will want a little brother or sister to play with:)

Answer 2

most of the only children i know i very self-centered and mean, if u want to teach your 3 year old its not about him all the time, so a good equalizer for that is a younger sibling, i dont know if u r selfish but not having another child to me is selfish because in my mind u  r hurting your child because he may grow up thinking the world revolves around him and that is hard to reverse, on the other hand if having another child puts u in a financial hole to where u cant support either child i wouldnt have another child

Answer 3

It seems you are on both sides of the selfish fence. But that is OK. You know what you want your future to look like and you know how to achieve it. On the other hand, you are making a lot of I statements and only a couple of them even included you present child. And not one of them was about how much love and attention you would be able to devote to one child, it was all materialistic things that won't matter in the long run.

Answer 4

It can be selfish if it is done purely for selfish reasons. But it really ought not to be any concern to other people, so if it doesn't cause you grief, then what harm can it cause?

We are long beyond the stage where the survival of the species depends on everyone having as many children as possible.

Answer 5

No way, when they get old they will be all alone.

Answer 6

No, it's not selfish.  I see it as responsible:  rather than having 2 kids, and cutting them short to go do things for yourself, have only one so you can treat them and yourself.  Just don't spoil your kid too much.  The world doesn't need anymore stuck goody-goodies.

Answer 7

I don't have a problem with someone only wanting one child, but when the rationale is that it's because you just want a bunch of material possessions, that make me sad. Your child is going to grow up measuring his self worth by the stuff he has.

I was a spoiled child. I'd gladly give back my c**p to have had more time with and love from my parents who were always working so they could spend money on me.  Stuff is pretty meaningless. I'll gladly hold back on buying my kids a ton of junk if it gives me more time to be with them.

Answer 8

it's hard to say. On the one hand, you do have good points. Raising kids can be expensive, especially with prices these days. But on the other, your kid could be missing out. I come from a family of 5 kids. I love my siblings very much and I don't know what I would do without them. Having siblings is a good way to teach kids life lessons, like sharing. I've seen many kids who are only childs that are very selfish and flat out refuse to share with other kids. Thats not to say that kids with siblings share either, and often they don't like to. But as they get older they learn that is is better manners to share. Sometimes single kids just don't grasp it. I've seen it all throughout high school. And having siblings is also good for when you are in a tight spot. By parents have always taught us to watch out for each other, and I know that they will be there for me if I ever need help.

Answer 9

No way! I plan on only having 1 or 2 kids. You're right it can create a money issue later, and some people simply can only handle so many children at a time. They really are a lot of work and effort. Do what makes you happy.

Answer 10

NO!  I think you are smart to recognize how you want your life and to plan for it.

Answer 11

No, it's not a selfish thing to want the best for you and your child.

Answer 12

Sounds like you are being realistic and certain about your future. Now don't forget to take the necessary steps to ensure you will not have any more children.

Answer 13

Of course not! It's very responsible of you to be thinking about the future. Unlike these other people who just have babies and ruin their children's lives because they can't afford anything good for them. No, good for you. You shouldn't sacrifice quality for quantity. It's your body, it's your baby, it's your life. Don't have another baby because people say you should. And being an only child isn't going to be traumatic or anything. Your child will make friends.

Answer 14

Counting the number of "I's" in this question tells me you one selfish lady.

Most people have the number of children they can afford financially, mentally and physically. I think in this family, you are the child, and your world revolves around you.

Answer 15

You can't be selfish when your putting yourself before someone who doesn't exist.  Just because someone else (or society in general) wants you to have more than one child, doesn't mean it's the best thing for you, your husband, and your other child.  If the above things is what makes you happy, then at least you have a leg up on that: many people struggle to find what makes them happy.  In the meantime, don't let anyone make you feel down about it.  You know what you want in life so hold your head high!

Answer 16

Of course it's not selfish.  It's smart and it's being true to yourself.  Selfish would be having a child you didn't want (which many people do out of carelessness).

Answer 17

you are not selfish at all. Good on you for realising that you dont want anymore children!

Enjoy your only child, and have a great life together.