Having our friend's daughter stay in our house for a month with our teenage son, bad idea?

Question

My friend enrolled her 16 y/o daughter for 4 weeks in a prestigious tennis academy that happens to be close to where we live, so we offered to have her stay at our house during that time instead of boarding there. However, my husband overheard our 17 y/o son telling his buddy that he found the girl attractive and wanted to seek a relationship (paraphrased heavily). I know this behavior is to be expected at his age, but I am having second thoughts about having this girl so close to my son for a month. Should I cancel the arrangement with my friend?

Answer 1

Why? Is she a bad influence? Just the way you said it sounds like it's the girls fault. Don't know if thats just me reading into it?

Just make sure they are supervised and they shouldn't have any problems.

Answer 2

When it comes to teens, where there's a will, there's a way.

You may want to 'lay down the law' with your son. Do you trust your son? It sounds like you have some doubts. If you have already extended the offer and are saving the girl's family a good chunk of money, I'd try to make it work.

Answer 3

I think you should talk to your friend about it and the two of you can decide what is best.

Answer 4

You don't have to cancel. Just don't leave them alone at night. Make sure that one of them would have to pass by your room in order to get to the other room. Don't be all paranoid and over protective though. Just be careful. Hopefully you are not a heavy sleeper and have good hearing or else you might have a bit of a problem, because as much as you don't want to admit it, your son is 17 and is having those naughty thoughts.

Answer 5

as a 16 year old guy talking to a parent, yes

ofcourse i wouldnt want you to hear that if you were my parent but if you know this girl is someone that would date, or "hook up" then i wouldnt go to the extreme of calling it off, but watch...carefully

Answer 6

obviously your friend trust her daughter enough to let her stay at your house knowing your son is there ,then you should too,just have a talk with ds and watch  them closely

Answer 7

it doesn't have to be canceled! just talk with you son! and with her being in a "prestigious tennis academy" i doubt she will care too much about seeking that "relationship" anyways... I wouldn't find it bad at all if you talked with your friend about it either... give her the option to allow it or not. It's your son, her daughter.. you should both be on the deciding side!

Good luck with this sticky situation!

Answer 8

sit down with your son and talk to him about the whole situation and if not tell your friend why you strongly feel like you should cancel these arrangements, she might understand.

Answer 9

Oh, but yes.  Because, if he forces himself on her, he can go to jail and have to register as a s*x offender.  If you want to keep your friendship with the girls parents,  cancel.

Answer 10

Yeah, prob not a good idea.

I wouldn't turn her away, but just be around 24/7.

Answer 11

well, if ur therr, nothings going to happen, and you should trust the girl to not do anything bad.

Answer 12

I'd tell my friend and discuss it with her.   I'd be nervous as heck about it, too.

Answer 13

if you already said she could stay, you're going to look ridiculous trying to cancel. obviously this girl has something going for her...shes going to a ritzy tennis camp. id be more worried about your son, guys his age today are usually pigs [for lack of a better term]. theres also a chance that maybe she wont be into your son, or maybe she'll meet someone at tennis camp. id let her stay, maybe her and your son will become really good friends for life, you never know. i doubt she would disrespect your household by having relations with your son, when you're letting her stay there for a month.

Answer 14

Paraphrased heavily lol

You should get them both togather with you and your husband, and the girls parents.  You should then tell everyone what your son said.  (without the paraphrase)  My guess is that the girl if she is going to a prestigious tennis academy will be more focused on tennis and will be put off by your sons intentions since he has not really met her.  Also the girls parents will probably be pretty protective since they are probably counting on a tennis scholarship.  Your son would probably be pretty embarrassed and may be to ashamed to even talk to her after that.  You shouldnt just cancel without talking to everyone first because that would be a financial burden they are not planning for.  The tennis is probably pretty expensive.  It could all back fire though.  She may hate the tennis and only be in it because her parents make her in that case she would probably say that she wanted to stay there and wasnt interested in your son and then would be in his room the first night.  You should do more talking with everyone involved to try to get a better understanding of the situation before you make a decision.

Answer 15

Yes...You don't have to say exactly why but maybe say you didn't think it all the way thru with 2 teens of the opposite s*x staying in the same house. I'm sure she would be grateful that you, knowing what your son said, spared her daughter the "opportunity" and vice versa. You know as a mother what to do and what is best for your SON. Not your friend. Don't worry about feeling bad for backing out. It's probably the best for everyone.

   EDIT: and If you post back on here, " my son got this girl pregnant because she stayed over for a month...what do i do??" well....I told you.

Answer 16

yes because knowing boys he will try and ask her out and even though it seems "friendly" if he just asks her out. that wont be enough for him he will try something else and you know what i mean by that. and anyone who says its okay, its always safe to be cautious than not at all. boys will be boys so its better to get her to move out than to keep those possibilities open.

Answer 17

dont cancel.. because your friend is counting on you... just keep a close watch on them.. dont have them both home alone with eachother... etc... good luck

Answer 18

The best thing to do is tell your son he is not aloud to date her ( in a nice way ) and tell the girl that is staying with you don'tdate him ( in a nice way ) make sure they don't

Answer 19

these things are going to happen eventually, why not just let it be at your house instead of in a park somewhere, or in a car somewhere, or in a public toilet somewhere..... you get my point

Answer 20

ah, the exact reason i don't have kids. i've no clue but sounds like a really bad idea either way you go. can you warn HER mom first ? maybe you'd be safe that way.

Answer 21

get over it and let them have their fun

Answer 22

let them know about teen pregnancy and tell them the consequences but that is probably the only thing. If anything happens let them deal with the consequences becuase you warned them.

Answer 23

this will hurt her. try to consult your 17 yrs old son.

Answer 24

I don't think you should cancel the arrangement, just keep an eye out on your son and the girl staying with you. It's fine if they date and kiss or hug, but nothing more. If sexual things occur then you should send the girl home, but I think a relationship is fine.

Answer 25

Tell her parents and let them make the decision. You can't be there to hound over the 2 kids 24/7 (I'm assuming you have jobs and lives too) and as parents of a daughter, they'll appreciate you giving them the option. What would happen if you DIDN'T say something and suddenly you and your buddies have a grandkid on the way, knowing this whole time your son's intentions? You don't have to be the bad guy; get the other parents in on it and if they feel comfortable and it's no big deal, then at least you have their clearance.

Answer 26

It would look bad on your part to cancel, just keep an eye on them.

luck.

Answer 27

Call your friend and talk to her about it.   The two of you should decide this together.   It could be a big mistake.   I hope you are ready for grandchildren.

Answer 28

nah it make im happy and make you 2 like the best parents ever

Answer 29

kids wll be kids. but i dont think that the girl would brake your unspoken agreement about spending time in your home. plus if its a really prestigious tennis academy she wont have time to mess around with him. :)        hope i helped