Having to show cuts?

Question

Today i had a follow up appointment because i self harm and have done for years. I Started when i was 12 and i'm now 18. It was my 6th appointment today and i was seeing a different doctor because the one i usually saw has got another job somewhere else. I'd seen this doctor once before though and felt fairly comfortable with her.

During our last appointment we were just sort of 'getting to know each other'. Basically just chatting a bit about stuff but nothing in great depth.

This time she asked to see the cuts. I felt really awkward and uncomfortable and i was really not expecting that at all. I did show her though just becausee i didn't know how to say no.

How come my other doctor hadn't asked? Why now?!..why at alll?

I don't know why i was so against her seeing? I guess i might have felt ashamed and disgusted with myself. Even i hate looking at the cuts.

What are the chances of her asking to see again? Is it essential for her to see or is there a way i can get around it?

Or if she does need to keep checking them how can i be a bit more a calm next time? I don't want to feel all panicky again.

Sorry, this is a bit of a stupid question but it's been stressing me out a bit.

Thanks.

Answer 1

Was this a regular MD or a psycologist?  A regular MD could be checking to see the extent of the damage... a psycologist really doesn't have a reason....other than curiosity.

Don't stress.. YOU are in control of the appointment.  You are paying her :p  And it should be absolutly ok for you to say "no, I'm not comfortable with that."  It's your body. If therapy is going to work, then you need to be absolutly comfortable with her..... if you feel you can't draw a boundry and say "no" to her...then that could be a problem.  How can you be honest with someone you can't tell no to?

Personally, I would flat out ask her "why do you need to see them?" (But then I have issues with people seeing my body... I'm not very open.)  If they're not on a part of your body that you would normally show to people, then you're certainly not obligated to say "ok."  

PS... just wanted to point out, not all doctors are 100% good and "just trying to help." I've met the worst of the bad, the sadists, and the curious.  They are just like any other people out there.  You need to be able to protect yourself and set boundries.  Or, at the very least find out why she "needs" to see your scars.

Answer 2

She's trying to help. Let her!