Having trouble choosing my Maid of Honor out of 2 friends.

Question

I have 2 best friends that I've known for 12 years. I cannot for the life of me choose one for MOH. What would you do?

Friend 1: I was just in her wedding and was 4th in line. I think that she would be the more helpful of the two, but not sure. She just had her wedding in May, so she has been through it.

Friend 2: She isn't married, but she has said that she would have me as her MOH. I'm just not sure if she would plan the shower and help me as much as I need.

My fiance is deployed overseas, so I'm planning the wedding myself and really need the help of my MOH. It's not a big deal that I wasn't the MOH for friend 1, but since my other friend is going to make me hers, that makes me lean towards her. Also friend 1 has been someone's MOH already and been in other weddings and friend 2 hasn't and probably won't.

Would it be bad to make friend 2 MOH and still have friend 1 help out?

Answer 1

The decision sounds easy to me. The one your closer to is the obvious pick. I went thru this when i got married. I made the wrong decision and have regretted it ever sense. My best-friend, the one i was closer to, was my maid of honor and the other was marton of honor (the one with the active roll, helping with the parties and durning the ceremony). Its been 14 years and our relationship is still strained. You need to go with your heart...who means the most to you? thats what the honor really reprsents. Choose wisely or you may end up like me...with a fracture friendship that cant be repaired.       GOOD LUCK!!!!!                        

Answer 2

Have the married one be your Matron of Honor, and the unmarried one be your Maid of honor.

Answer 3

Since one is married then she can be the Matron of Honor and the unmarried friend can be the Maid of Honor. If you really want to just pick one then pick the friend you feel will give you the most emotional support. Don't base your decision on who think will do more work or who you think you need to "payback." Choose the person that you most want there if things start to head sour (hopefully they won't, but it doesn't hurt to have your closest friend there if it does).

Answer 4

I would personally just use both of them, and have friend two stand next to you during the wedding ceremony. That way both best friends get the recognitions they deserve.  

Answer 5

You never mentioned who you're closer to or how long you've been friends with each of them.

It sounds like both would be reliable (you didn't mention a history of being irresponsible of either of them), so I think what it will come down to is who you're closer to.

However, if it's one of those situations where they're both like sisters to you and you still can't choose, have them both be maid's of honor, and have the taller one stand next to you at the actual wedding ceremony (that way it's arbitrary).

Do you plan on having more bridesmaids? Have the MOH's both wear sashes to stand out.

Hope that helps!

Answer 6

Um you can have two maids of honors? Cant you? i dont think theres a lot that says you cant. Or dont choose one at all.  

Answer 7

You can have co MOH's if you can't make your mind up. Sometimes it's very hard to choose between friends. Good luck with the wedding.

Answer 8

Unmarried, the maid of honor. Married, the matron of honor, as they  are called.

Edit: Then maybe you can choose the unmarried one and go with the "maid of honor is supposed to be unmarried" reason, with an apology to the married one and say you hope she understands that it's nothing against her.

Of course...you could always let the married one be the Matron and even it up by having her husband as her escort if you and your fiancé know him well enough.

Answer 9

my cousin had both a maid and matron.they just walked out with one guy in between them.it didnt look stupid at all. i think the only way to solve this issue is to make both of them moh or choose someone neutral like his sister.

Answer 10

Maids of Honour are usually married so pick Friend 1.

Tell them both at the same time and explain it is because of this tradition - otherwise you would have had 2 Maids of Honour.

However also make friend 2 feel special and have her as a bridesmaid.

Tell them you would like them both to help you arrange the wedding.

If you are having only one person dressed up behind you at the altar;

During the ceremony Friend 1 for example (in ordinary clothes) could take the bouquet from you at the altar and Friend 2 (dressed as a bridesmaid) could make sure your veil sits correctly.

Friend 1 can carry your make-up and hair brush.

Otherwise have them both dressed the same but make friend 1 MOH.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

HAVE THEM BOTH!!!!  The one married will be your Matron of Honor and the one unmarried will be your Maid of Honor...  It is not uncommon to have two and no one will have their feelings hurt.  Just remember there are no right or wrongs for the day, it's your wedding....

Answer 12

Why not ask them both? With a fiance overseas you're going to need all the help you can get!

Answer 13

If you are having this problem trying to pick, why don't you just have both of them as maid and matron of honor.  As for the sides being uneven, it's not like it's never been done before

Answer 14

I would say to have the married one be the Matron of honor and the other be the Maid of honor. Your fiance does not have to have 2 best men to "even" it out. It will be fine.

Then when it comes to helping you with the wedding...which ever one chooses to help you the most...lean on her for your support. Having to do it without your fiance you will need a lot of help...this way you get 2!

Answer 15

make them both the MOH so they are not jealous and they don't use it against you.

Answer 16

i would choose friend 2 she will appreciate dat u choose her.friend 1-has a bestfriend so choose da other one.