He's asked me to marry him but everyone dislikes him but my family..

Question

i feel everyone is against me on this one. He is a genuinly nice guy. but for soem reason my friends have problems with him, im beginning to think maybe its jealousy. He has asked my father for my hand in marriage and i have said 'yes', my best friend had a go at me for this. (she is currently living with her boyfriend who refuses to get married, i still live with my parents)

How can i talk to her, or convince her to understand that i want to be with this man for the rest of my life?

Answer 1

To be frank: he's marrying you. Not your friends. He's not going to be their "friend in law" or anything, but he WILL be a son in law to your parents. If you family is willing to accept him as part of the family, then it sounds like your friends are just missing the boat on this.

Your friends don't have to like your spouse. It is helpful if they do, but if they don't then just make sure you make some time to do things JUST with them and then make sure you don't keep talking about him.

Personally, it sounds like jealousy to me.

Just tell her that he makes you happy, and she cares about your happiness, right? Remind her that your friendship isn't going to end just because you are married. Tell her she is invited to your wedding (maybe even as a bridesmaid if you 2 are really close) and tell her you will return the favor when her time comes (as it will).  

Answer 2

Its jealousy.

Answer 3

I'd ask them for legitimate reasons why they don't like him, if they don't have any then I'd not worry about it. If they do name some things that ring some bells then I'd maybe take a step back and think about it. There's really nothing you can do that will convince her that everything's alright, just state your reasons and if they aren't good enough for her then I wouldn't waste anymore oxygen trying to explain it further. Ultimately it's your decision and no one can make it but you. Think about it carefully and do what you think is best.  Good luck!

Answer 4

You answered your own ?

Your friend is jealous cause you're getting married and she's not.

If your family likes him, who cares about anyone else?

Answer 5

If your family likes him, then that is probably a good sign. I always worry when no one likes the guy/girl and the person says "they don't know him/her like I do."

I don't think you can convince her. You just have to go on with your life. Sometimes friendships are toxic or we outgrow them.

Answer 6

It doesn't matter what your friend says - it only matters what you feel and what you want.  My family did not care for my husband before we got married (he acts like he knows everything) but they said it was my life.  Now they call him more then me. LOL - he was always nervous around them so he acted different now he is part of the family.  We are all happy.  

Answer 7

Just tell her that your the one who has to live with him not her!  

Answer 8

When it comes to choosing between friends and the man in your life someone will always feel left out.  It is usually the friend.  If she is against this union because he doesn't treat you right then take a step back because it will get worst before it gets better.  But if it's because he is taking you away from her then that's how it should be.  It's part of life and if you love this man and you see a beautiful future ahead of you then you may lose a friend.  It's confusing and heart breaking but follow you heart, but make sensible desions for your future.  If you and not being true to yourself about your relationship then there is no solution.  

Answer 9

You have to do what is right for you.  I have been in that same situation and I learned who my real froends are, it will hurt, but you have got to think for yourself on this one.

Answer 10

if she was really your friend she would accept the fact that you're getting married to the man you love. Do you love him? are you happy with him? if so then thats all that matters.

Answer 11

you dont have to convince your friends ANYTHING.. they should be happy for you.. remember misery loves company and no matter how good of a friend they may be deep downt hey dont want to see you in a better position than they are..

dont know how old you are, but youll see sooner or later who your true friends are. if you have to get their approval for marriage that isnt the type of friends you want around you anyway... what are they gonna do next, tell u when to have kids?!

i say feel sorry for your "friend" that shes so miserable in her own situation that she is willing to ruin yours. you need to be happy for yourself and go start your life with your future husband. they dotn pay your bills, their opinions dont mean Shiat.  

Answer 12

if you really love this man, you shouldn't care what other people think about him, and you shouldn't need approval.

Answer 13

When I first met the man I'm going to marry, we lived across the country from each other (we met on vacation). He invited me to visit him, I fell in love with the area and decided to move there and give our relationship a shot. He came to visit me so he could meet my friends and family and make them feel better about me moving out here. My family loved him on site, but two of my very close friends picked fights with him immediately (one even professed that she hated him). I realized that my family has known me longest and knew me best. My brother never liked any of my previous boyfriends, but hit it off with my now fiance immediately.

My two friends were just sad that I was going to be moving 3000 miles away and were feeling over-protective. Since he and I have been together for over 4 years and are getting married in 2010, they've become friendly to him.

Be understanding that your friends care about you and only want the best for you. If they're true friends, they'll come around.  

Answer 14

Why in the world does it matter how she feels about him?  Sounds like you and best friend are a bit enmeshed.

As long as you love him (and you have the added bonus of family liking him too), I truly don't see why best friend's opinion matters.

After all, she is not the one who will be living with him, LOL.

Answer 15

If it's  more than one friend who dislikes him, maybe you should look more carefully into it for your sake. If they give valid reasons like, "You've changed for the worse since you've been with him" or "He's controlling" then you might want to step back and think about things.

However, I don't see how this could be the case, especially if your parents approve. Ask your friends what their problems are with your fiance, and see if you can work things out. Just say, "I really appreciate and treasure our friendship, but this is the man I love and want to be with, and if you just just be happy for me, then I don't know what to do." See how it goes.

After you hear their responses, you'll know whether or not these friends are worth keeping around.

Answer 16

Move to Ponca City OKlahoma

Answer 17

Its your decision, no one else has an opinion on your love. Thats it thats all

Answer 18

I think you should find out why your friends don't approve.  Love is blind, and maybe they see something you don't.  My niece married a guy that none of her friends or family thought was a good match for her (it's not that he wasn't a nice man--they just were not a good match on personality, background, finances, politics, kids, etc.).  She wouldn't listen when we tried to raise the issues, married him, and was in divorce proceedings before their first anniversary.  She now admits that she should have listened to our reasons and thought them through--it may have saved her a lot of heartache and money.