He can not adopt because he is to fat and can die?

Question

Did you see this on the news? A man wants to adopt this cousins child, who is 3 months old as he has had the child since birth. The judge said "no because you are too fat and could die before the child grows up" Now the man is having gastric bypass to lose weight. I feel this is ludacrious, do you?

There is no guarantee when anyone adopts or has a child that the parent will not die first. It would be like saying a Marine can not adopt because he may get called to active duty in Iraq and die. Whats your opinion on this??

Answer 1

I am all for adoption and it is really silly over half the population is on the larger side of life. It should never be based on looks it should be based on how well the person or persons can look after the child and fend for the child and also how much they care and love for the child.

We should be encouraging people and helping those that would like to adopt a child it is sad that parents can give up their children for what ever reason but if there is a family member that is able to care for the child then they should be allowed.

It should not be on size and weight a larger lady could fall pregnant tomorrow is she going to be told that she cant have her child. This man should be able to look after his cousins child i believe that if he is willing to commit that he loves the child and that should be enough.

Answer 2

its stupid and wrong of the judge.he needs to be reminded that life holds no guaratees for how long you live regardless of your weight or size or anything.some of these answers blow me away.shows that society is so biased against anyone who has a not so called perfect body and weight.as for the one who said military shouldnt adopt either cause they could die.for your info my parents adopted and then 3 yrs later my dad passed away from cancer.but my brother is still happy and well cared for.we finalized an adoption the 14 of this month,thank god the judge didnt look at sze cause i am well over weight.she looked at how happy our daughter is living with us,how loved she is,how accepted by our other children and extended family and our ability to care for her.anything can happen and you die unexpectedly that judge was dumb and so prejuidiced.give him my best and will send up a few words for him.

Answer 3

i think the judge was wrong to do that. a perfectly fit person could adopt a child, n walking from his car to his office could get hit by a car n die.

Answer 4

The judge may only be looking out for the child.  If the person was in there 90's  and the reason were they might be too old and could pass soon would people still have the same problems.?

Answer 5

Is this judge involved in the decision before the adoption homestudy was completed?  If a Dr. did sign off on the medical form, I don't see what the problem is.  I'm considered obese and I've adopted 2 babies through the state.

Answer 6

I'm an adoption social worker...I cannot let anyone with a morbid health issue adopt...A doctor has to sign a medical form that states the person is fit to adopt.

No, I don't think it is crazy....I couldn't let someone with stage 4 cancer adopt either...if the child is adopted by him, and he dies in 6 years, the chances of finding another home for the child decrease every year with age.

A little rude, a little mean, but facts are facts....if the doctor would not sign off, he can't adopt.

Is the man single?  If he has a healthy wife it would be fine....No, I would not allow a single marine to adopt unless he had a secure plan for the child in the event of his death, and I would greatly discourage a single marine from adopting anyway.

You must consider the best interest of the child....is it in the child's best interest to be adopted by a man too fat to play with him, or run with him...who is not making healthy decisions for himself so he should be charged with healthy decisions for a child?????

I'm not saying I wouldn't allow it, I'm just saying the questions are valid.

Answer 7

Sorry but I agree with the judge on this one.  I know I will get probably many thumb downs but oh well.  The judge is only looking out for the child.  Think in 6 years if this man dies, who is this kid going to live with, and if not a family member they will be in foster care.  I don't know what happened to the  parents, but if this man died when this baby is still a child, it will have to go through that he has no parents, his guardian died and now he has no one.  Also everyone is saying that well anyone could get ran over by a car, well that is ridiculous, yeah someone could, but how often do you see that, and this man on top of having that chance of getting ran over he has the chance of dying from his weight and other health issues.  So does everyone think it is wrong that to adopt from China that you can't be overweight, this is no different.

Answer 8

That is a bit out there even more that he is kin to the child.   He could be thin and die in a car wreck or some other unfortunate event before the baby becomes an adult.  At the most it shows how much he loves this child that he is willing to have surgery which by the way you can die from surgery even this kind. In order to be able to adopt this child.

Answer 9

if we went by the judges logic then all children of fat parents should be taken away..... im over weight and have to kids and am completely healthy

Answer 10

That is very sad the child will suffer from that and so will the "fat" people in this world what type of word do we live in this is sick..

Answer 11

If a person is grossly overweight (enough so that they are a candidate for bypass surgery), they really are not the best candidate to adopt a baby.  Look around. You do not see many obese older people.  

They drop dead of heart attacks, have complications from diabetes, can't run and jump and play with the kids....let this be a wake-up call.  I am impressed that this man is willing to save his own life to keep this baby in his life.

Answer 12

This is our Liberal judges at work. They will decide what is best for us. Whether you are a smoker or not, you should be really concerned about all the smoking bans. You may be next just like this overweight man. Having the government decide what is best for you is socialism.

Answer 13

Didn't you see Steel Magnolias? Julia Roberts has that baby because, "No judge would give [through adoption] a baby to someone with my medical history," and then three years later, she's dead--just like her mother knew she would be.

A single active-duty anything military doesn't need to be adopting either. You can't put a kid in suspended animation when something happens and pull them out when things are better.

My husband died when my kids were 5 and 9. We never expected that and it was hard on them--after 16 years it still is, but that's different than taking a huge risk and just hoping for the best.

Adoption isn't about what's fair to the adult (and this isn't), but what's best for the child. I bet there are hundreds of letters, messages to that man from couples who'd be happy to adopt the baby. How many letters will there be for a child of 6, who's been through hospital visits and medical procedures on dad, and has a set of social and academic problems as a result?

Answer 14

I understand how you feel, but I can see how legally, the system would not want to be responsible for future problems with this child, so they want to ensure the home that it goes to is a good one and the final one.

All kinds of people who don't deserve children get to have them and unless they do something overtly illegal they get to keep them.  But this is a baby the law had a choice on.  I am saddened by their choice, but it is born out of concern.

I commend this man for his commitment to getting this child.  He must be an amazing person and I hope he succeeds.  Baby should stay in the family if possible, and my heart goes out to him.

Answer 15

I didn't see the news, and don't have all the information. But, from what you say, I tend to agree with you. Premise #1, there are no guarantees in life. Premise #2, Love is greater than death. Premise #3, a parent, even if for just a little while is better than no parent. If there is a bond of love between this man and this child, and the child has no other legal guardian, then the judge is wrong, IMO.  On the plus side, maybe the man will be motivated by love to get healthy. However gastric bypass is probably not the best path to health.

Answer 16

I hate when the government starts trying to impose "standards" on things.  While I understand we want children to be adopted by "healthy" individuals, but as you indicate, if we start saying that someone who is obese could die, what is next?  Smokers? Military personnel?  Police Officers (this one bothers me as we are a police family).  The judge should be happy that a family member wants to step up and make a permanent home for this child.

Answer 17

I think that is ridiculous & judgemental as well as trying to play God. If that man has a good background & it was alright with his cousin then what right does the Judge have to  determine that he is to big. Im sure the man was already uncomfortable with his weight, but to be pushed into a decision like that behind another mans opinion is not right. So far he has raised this babie without his weight being a big issue, but now he is risking his life in another way. That shows me he loves that child as any parent would. Lets hope the judge can live with his self Lord forbid something happen during surgery.