He is going to scream at me again and why?

Question

he is going to scream at me again. see ive been married 27 years i had one child from another man and 2 from him my hubby. yesterday my first child his step son came home from rehab my son is 32 years and on his own i took him to lunch even thou we really could not afford this i put it on charge card. anyways every time no matter what he screams when imam with my son his children they can do no wrong they have not been in the wrong ever. don't get me wrong we have a good marriage he and me have raised these kids which we say are ours because it was my son was 4 he started. anyways the other kids or ours can live here go out and stay out all night no problem but when i do something nice for my first child he scream he thinks he is a f up all his life imam sad what to say to my hubby to make him not scream at me any more thanks

Answer 1

What??

Answer 2

Run-on sentence post = Too long; didn't read.

Tell your son to stop being such a loser and get a job.  

Answer 3

Remind him that this is your child and he has no reason to be upset with you because of your child's problems.

Also remind him that this is your 32 year old sons business, and if he has any say in it, he needs to talk to him, not sceam at you about it.

Answer 4

  He screams at you, because you let him. What have you ever done to stop him ??

  Tell him the facts,  your son is just one of three kids, who all need individual attention, "your" attention. And you will hand it out when and where you want, nor would the hubby have gotten this far without your assistance, so you have every right to use that card now and then. Tell him neither does it take away from the others, if he took the time to notice.

You have every right to hold a relationship, even a special one, with your son and his family. That is the whole purpose of raising him, puting the time in, so you could have that in the later years!!

  And so shall the others develop a relationship later, they'll just all be different.

  Tell him to either jump on board, or sail alone.

   Stand up to him and let him know every time he raises his voice, you will walk out of the room until he can speak normally, do it and continue to do it.

Answer 5

Your son does sound like he has problems, but I wonder if being raised by someone who acts like he hates him has something to do with his issues.

Your spouse has obviously resented you and your son's relationship and has made no secret of that fact.  

You need to stop him in his tracks when he begins a rant about your son.   Make it absolutely clear that you will no longer tolerate him attacking your son in any way, shape or form.   Tell him that you are very aware of his feelings about your son and don't need to hear it anymore.   You will manage your relationship with your son and he need not be involved with your son anymore.

Don't invite your son to join family events if your husband is going to belittle him or make him feel unwelcome.   Set aside special days for you to spend with your son and do it in a place where there is no stress.   Your son needs positive support and encouragement, not to be told he's living up to your husbands worst expectations.

If your husband is your sons' main male role model, it crushes his soul to have that man say terrible things about him.   Same as if his own father had said it.

If possible, get your husband and son in for family counseling to develop some respect for each other.

Good luck you your family.

Answer 6

Well I'm thinking he's either jealous, or he can't get over the fact that your first child went to rehab and wasn't even his own , yet he feels that you're especially biased towards your first rather than his own children .

Answer 7

Seems like the only possible solution is getting a divorce or learn proper grammar so that we could easily figure out what it is you're trying to communicate.