He is making an effort. Why don't I feel any better? Why do I feel smothered now, and still want to run away?

Question

History: My man works weekends. I work weeks. We've been together for 11 years. Anymore, we only see each other a few hours at a time. Weekend before last, we got into a huge fight. He made an effort to spend time with me. I had previous plans to go out with my Mom, who had been out of town for several months.

He said nothing until Sunday night, when he was visibly angry, and when I asked him why, he went through a minute-by-minute count of the entire weekend and everything I did to prevent us from spending time together.

After he mentioned splitting up 3 times, I finally said ok. If that's what you want, that's what we'll do. He left. I actually felt kind of relieved that he did. He drove around the block and came back. I confessed to him that I've been hiding depression and thoughts of suicide for 10 years or more.

He is now making a really big effort. We are going out tonight, and this weekend. He is giving me extra attention when we are able to be together. Last weekend we went out. I hit a Royal Flush, and he was angry that I wasn't playing Max Bet. He asked where I wanted to eat, and was angry that I didn't pick the Steak House. After an hour and a half, he got sulky and wanted to go home.

I just feel so hopeless, like no matter what, neither of us is going to be happy. I know that I'm not happy because I really do have issues. I'm seeing a psychologist and trying to fix it.

He was recently diagnosed with OCD and General Anxiety Disorder. He has been on meds for over 2 weeks now, and seems better.

I feel like he's smothering me, like he expects more from me than I can give. It seems that he wants my full attention, ALL THE TIME!

Is this normal? Is an adult relationship supposed to consist of a man, his life, and his woman, who should only have her man, and nothing else?

Do you think I am just imagining all this?

I feel like I'm going crazy! Why can't I just let myself be happy???

Answer 1

Hm.. Maybe both of your problems are just clashing right now and you are struggling and feel like it was only the fact that you told him about your depression and what not that he is just now trying to make an effort and you resent him for that considering he should have tried long before. Or maybe you aren't spending enough time together. This can cause issues even if you feel as though you want to see him less its actually ironic because it would help if you saw each other more. Take turns choosing what you want to do and what he wants to do. One night go where you want to go then switch the next time and go where he wants, keep it equal and he has no right to complain. Good luck I wish you the best with your relationship!!