He just told me he's g*y. Now what do I do?

Question

One of my close friends recently revealed to me he was g*y, a secret that he's been hiding for at least 5 years. I'm the first person he's ever told, and nobody else knows about it, not even his family.

I want to support and help him, because he's really struggling with his feelings and insecurities about coming out. He's unsure of how he can tell people, and doesn't know what to do next. What should I do to help him get through this?

Answer 1

just be a freind and be there to support him

Answer 2

thats a hard one and i feel bad for you because that means that you are the closest persion to him in the whole entire WORLD!! i would just keep beind his freind it will definiatly be aquard

Answer 3

Confessing his secrets to you means a lot. He trust you.  

Nothing must changed. Accept him, the way he is.

Support him, his decisions. He is still she. wink!

He is your friend.

Time will decide what's his future.

Nothing wrong being a g*y. He must be just honest to himself. Real friend will accept him and will not criticize him. He's cool.  

Maybe bit of a problem revealing himself with the family. But who knows. Blood is thicker than water. He is still a part of the family.

If I were him, I will keep my mouth shut, and sooner or later the family will noticed his behaviour and they themselves will approach him for the answers. Then, time to be honest to everyone. Same goes to other friends. Let them discovered it by themselves.

Stop hiding who you are. Be normal, after all it's still him.

He will be ok in the long run.

Life must go on.

Cheers!  

Answer 4

just b there for him...he confided in you because he needs a friends support when he fully "comes out"..

listen to him when he wants to talk and whatever you do..dont judge him..

dont tell anyone that hes g*y..let him do it in his own time and his own way...

good luck to the both of you..

Answer 5

It sounds like you're not g*y yourself from what I've read, so you don't need to feel bad for not being able to give him advice.

You should go on a g*y pride website or something and find a tips page, or just google it.

Good luck ,  

Answer 6

Let him know how you feel. Tell him that you'll support him and you don't think differently of him. And make sure to tell him to take his time when coming out. Tell him not to push himself past his limits.

Answer 7

leave him and don't talk to him any more

Answer 8

He should do some probing about the family at a get-together, discussing the issues of the day.

Keep the questions general.

"Wow. There's a lot of talk about g*y marriage. How do you think the candidates will handle this issue?"

By listening to the replies, he can better judge how to broach this subject

Answer 9

This is a great step for him and he first is also the hardest. I think you should tell his closest and dearest people because sometime parents can be harsh as well. You need to give him emotional support as this I think would be a very emotional for him, Also don't treat him any different around him because if you start acting and talking different to him it will make him fell like you don't like him anymore because you acting diffirrent for him because of this new found information.

Hope this helps.

Answer 10

Let him know that .. as you've stated !!...  you'll continue to be his friend !!.... IF you so choose !?! .. Also as -a- F R I E N D . let it be known that he should really think about it!! or again!! & point  out how morally wrong it is !! " The only true God would'nt  approve of the lifestyle !! & maybe some of your own words !!. Also talk about the Biblical account of Lot's wife !! & How her faith must've been weak !!  Because  they'd(he & his wife)had been told by an Angel how they would have a chance to get away from that sinful place that was to be destroyed !!. & how it's clear that her heart must've been on something or someone in the place /cities to be destroyed !!the proof is the fact that she turned into a pillar of salt !!... My advice to you is to keep on the straight & narrow !! Now you can try to be a friend that's putting ones SELF in a position of catching or contracting something that just might spread MORE  as it kills them  over some time !!... In`fact you should'nt let your s0o.`called friendship with said person be like a city that you must look back on or too !! even if just to see if all is ok !!. Do'nt turn back !! give them helpful advice if you'd like !! being the friend you claim to be. !!! But MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE !! you'd given your good advice & or said your peace !! Now you must look out for you!! and making sure that you'll still have a chance to move forward in life !!  G/L~!!!.   r R r  

Answer 11

Just support him, and except the fact that he's g*y.  

Answer 12

be his rock.

Answer 13

talk to him, tell him that your his friend and love and accept him as he is and that there is nothing wrong with him being g*y.

Answer 14

There are a lot of resources online to help you help others with the coming out process. Some of them are linked below. The most important piece of advice I'd give you though is to just support him and let him know you're there for him. It does much more than you know.

Answer 15

just be there for him, he's never gonna "get through this" it's who he is and not somthing that he will ever get over. so i will just say it again, be there for him. good luck!

Answer 16

wow that puts a lot of pressure on u it sounds like he really trusts u but anyways wat i would do is maybe try and convience him to go to a guidence counselar but if he doesnt want to go to 1 just help him through it. But i still think he should tell someone besides  u like someone in his family so that they can help him and that would take the pressure off ur shoulder             good luck! :-)

Answer 17

they say g*y people make good friends.if he was your friend before he can still be a friend now.

Answer 18

Keep talking to him and reassure him that you love him just the same and so will other people. I like that one person's idea of finding out how his parents view g**s before telling them outright. Once he does tell them, he might want to consider a professional counselor to talk to. If he's been hiding it that long he probably has a lot of feelings bottled up inside him. You can help by encouraging him and sticking up for him. Don't tell anyone until he's ready and be there for him when he does. g**s are getting a lot more recognition lately and hopefully, he won't have too hard of a time. Let him expand into the g*y community; he will gain confidence from them. Good luck!

Answer 19

Suck it and see.

Any friend that rejects someone now days is way out of touch.

If they are,   very quickly the group should be able to pressure them to change.  

Don't make a big thing of this, just get him to open up to others.

Myself I suggest one on one as its easier than trying to talk to a few at once.  

Answer 20

Oh I know exactly how you feel. Just ask him if he's sure about choosing this way. If he's sure, there's nothing you can do about except tell him that being g*y is ok and there's nothing to be shy about it. Go express it. There's a lot more g**s then you think, by the way. He's going to fit in just fine.

Answer 21

Just be there for him. Make sure he realises he has nothing to be ashamed about. Encourage him to tell the people he feels comfortable telling. He doesn't have to come out to the world now - only when he feels ready, to WHO he feels ready to tell.

Don't change how you are with him and don't act like it's a big deal.

Best of luck to you both.  

Answer 22

Just act the same as you always have.  Let him know, though, that you will help him tell anyone he wants...you'll be with him every time if he wants you there.  

He just needs to not feel alone.  That's awesome that you were the first one he told. You must have earned that trust through years of friendship.  Just keep being the friend he knows.

Answer 23

Just be there when he needs to talk.  Sounds like he is young.  If this is true, there may be groups for g**s and lesbians.  You can help him find the local Pride Center.  Sometimes they have get togethers with young g*y youth.  You can even go to PFLAG.  Maybe you can get some advice from others who have been in your shoes.

Answer 24

leave him and get a HIV test.

Answer 25

Well for one he wont appreciate you posting that he's g*y to the world.

Answer 26

Just give him as much support as he needs im not g*y or anything and its not a bad thing you just need to help him get through it thats all you can do. Hes probably got a lot of pressure on him if he just tell his parents they should understand or there just bad parents. Good luck and keep strong.