He keeps walking out im pregnant

Question

Im 24 years old and live with my boyfriend i have a 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship and am 8 months pregnant. my boyfriend left me when i was 2 months pregnnat and ignored me 4 three months he said it was my fault, i couldnt get hold of him at all he changed his phone number i had to leave messages with his brother for appointments he would go to some off them if he wasnt busy. anyway i felt very hurt and didnt know if i could trust him but we decided to give it another go as we still loved each other. Anyway iv slowly started to trust him again but the problem is everytime he's in a mood or im we have a disagreement he says im going back to my mums and then leaves! this makes me feel abandoned and down all over again. he wont speak to me or sort things out. and these disagreements are not even big arguements its like im not aloud to disagree with him. i feel like he knows how depressed and stressed i get and uses it to hurt me. iv told him its hurting me but he doesnt understand. Also he's very close to my daughter as her dad doesnt see him and im told him he cant do this to her. we are meant to be a family and he keeps bailing out, going back to his parents for a few days once a week. just want to know why hes doing this. his parents also seem to think this is acceptable behaviour and are under the impression he's living with them.i know theres no other girl involved. so im confused as to whats going on.

Answer 1

Sounds harsh but he gets on well with your daughter becuase she isn't his - this means no reasponsibilities for him.

He cannot handle the fact that you are pregnant and this child is *his*, this means he is going to have to do some growing-up maturity-wise and it sounds like he cannot or will not do this.

Speak to him, tell him he needs to decide whether he wants to be a father or a 'lad'.  If he is like this now and the baby hasn't even been born yet, do you really honestly want him in your life when you have the baby and may actually need him to be there?  

Answer 2

Well apparently your relationship was lust and not love since he walked out on you. If he did love you he would have never walked out on you in the first place, he would have been excited to be having a child and at not the least bit worried about it. So i would dump that loser and find yourself a better man!

Answer 3

He wants to be a "walker" let him, you have a family to raise and you need someone that is stable and ready to be an "adult", he, sounds like the ultimate loser.  There is no need to be depressed, feel abandoned, etc., you have one child and another on the way, do you want them to feel depressed, abandoned, etc., NO,   you want them to feel loved and secure and with him in and out of the picture, that will not happen.  Secure your family, sure it won't be easy, but then who said it would be, but  the thing is to make it and hopefully you have a faith that you can call on in this time of need.  I have put you and yours in prayer and have claimed it will be okay for you and your children, with or without a man.    God Bless.

Answer 4

Im sorry to hear that, pregnancy should be a special time for both of you. First thing is try not to get stressed out as this is going to effect the baby, secondly, he's probably quite scared of actually having a baby and the responsibility.I know it's no excuse at all but sometimes guys do that. They get scared and run away and where do they go, their mums. Tell him to grow up and be a man.x

Answer 5

He can't communicate in an adult fashion, he can't talk things through and sort things out. Shutting down and leaving only serves to make you anxious, and frustrated, and keeps him in control.

I think you are making a mistake in trying to continue the relationship with him. He does NOT sound like a role model for either of your children.

Answer 6

Heres whats going on. He's trying to control you by leaving. he knows how much it upsets you and the only way he can get his own way is to LEAVE you. WOW  how immature. I would seriously think about dumping his as- or your going to find yourself always chasing him down. He doesn't sound mature enough to have a family. Try turning the reigns on him and THROW HIM OUT!!!!   Let him think you don't need him. Because thats the impression thats he's under, is that you NEED him. What I would do is get rid of him as soon as I could. Unless you like living this way. And it's not a good thing for your children to be seeing either. Their idea of solving a problem in life is going to be just run away. He's VERY immature. I would rather be on my own. And if you do get rid of him, then next time try to meet someone whos more mature and can handle problems. I'm telling you, if you don't get rid of him now, you'll be living like this for the rest of your life.  

Answer 7

Chuck him out. Pack his bags and tell him to go to his Mums. Tell him he is welcome to see the kids whenever he wants to make an appointment but your relationship is over. He will immediately want you back...he is a child and needs to grow up...and his Mother should not keep accepting him back..she is enabling his awful behaviour. You may be best off without him as emotional upsets are BAD for you and the baby. Not to mention your older child.

Answer 8

This so called boyfriend is an immature child, who refuses to grow up, refuses to accept responsibility for his actions, and runs away whenever he is put in a position of making an adult decision. However, both you and his mother are enabling this type of behavior......he doesn't get his way so he runs home to mommy who of course sympathizes and makes it all better, you then enter the picture and beg and plead for him to return and in fact are "rewarding" him for his childish tantrum. You cannot expect him to change when you keep giving him his own way, you are also setting your daughter up for some serious relationship problems..children learn by example, and you better think really hard about what you are teaching your daughter, and what kind of a role model this guy is providing. Is this how you want her to grow up and view men?

Instead of playing his "game" put an end to it, tell him in plain English that you will not tolerate his immature behavior any longer, he either grows up and deals with life's problems or he can go home to Mommy. Immediately get the paperwork ready for Child Support, you are going to need it. You better examine your reasons for choosing "boys" who don't mind making babies but have no idea about how to be a man or how to be a role model to the child they are helping to produce. You seem to lack self esteem and this is a very serious issue for any woman. No woman deserves to be used, you do however deserve to be loved, treated with Respect and Fairness. For the sake of your daughter and the unborn child STOP settling for just any guy who shows you attention, you need a positive Role Model, Father figure and most of all a man who accepts his responsibilities and will be there for those children and for you.

Answer 9

This guy needs to grow up! tell him if he goes back to his mother then he can stay there...you have one child another on the way and an adult that is carrying on like a child. You must be strong and straight when dealing with him, what he is doing to you is very unfair and it is causing you to be stressful which is the last thing you need just now. It's very nice for him... when the going gets tough , he gets going to his parents but you are left to carry on alone. If you don't get this sorted out soon then you are in for a very rough ride ahead of you .

Answer 10

Knock some sense into him!

tell him if he wants anything to do with his child he'll have to get a grip and try to sort things out hes probably really scared about the fact that hes about to become a parent. You have to stop thinking about the fact that you love and think do you really want your unborn child to grow up with his or hers parents on and off again? that would be way, way worse then being sepperated or divorced. So calm down and tell him you love him but so dose your daughter and you don't wont your child to grow up confused about what to think of his or hers parents because there always at each others necks.

Answer 11

Girlfriend - I'm so sorry you are in this predicament. I know you love him and feel that now that you're pregnant withi his child, things should have gottenalot better, but thats not always the case. Thsiguy seems to be VERY immature, needless to say that you probably should have held back on getting pregnant with him before knowing/planning out your lives, like will you be living together???

For a g uy to walkout on you for months knowing that you are pregnant with his child, and having you chase around town for him just proves how much he doesn't care for you, I'm sorry to say. I think you need to stop depending on him to be happy in life & concentrate on your babies. Tell him that yes, he can't keep walking in & out of yours & your daughters lives & that he needs to face the facts when you need to discuss things. Be the mature one and tell him, look - if you choose to walk out on me & keep going back to your parents & run away from your responsibilities, then do so - but please don't expect me to keep taking you back. Turn the tables around - you are in control here!!! Not some kid who keeps running off to mommy!! You can be very happy with your kids, so long as you're surrounded by true friends and family who love you - and im sure they do. If not for you- do it for your kids - they deserve better.