He missed our first date - does he get another chance?

Question

We had tentative plans to go on a specific outing yesterday. He was going to call me when he was done golfing, but I never heard from him.

Today he sent an apology message saying he took a nap after golfing and didn't wake up till it was dark outside. He apologized profusely and says he feels horrible.

Do I give him a second chance? If so, what should I text back?

Answer 1

i think that if he didn't call then maybe not

but if you truly want to give him a second chance and YOU think he deserves it. Then go ahead

but this is your decision not everybody elses opinion

sorry hunn

Answer 2

No.

He has to prove himself that he is worthy of a second chance.

Tell him, I am sorry but I was really awaiting your call. However I am not free anytime soon to go out with you, you caught me on my last free weekend this summer.

Answer 3

it really depends, if there was some sort of family crisis or something he had to take care of then its not really his fault but if he didn't call and let you know he wasn't going to be there then that would be a reason not to. best thing to do is find out what was the reason that he missed it, then decide from their if he deserves a second chance.

also remember there is a big difference from a petty excuse and a dignified one.

Answer 4

give him another chance, but only if he agrees to give you a breakdancing demonstration.  if he's up for that, he probably cares enough.

Answer 5

You should wait.  If he contacts you again before you've responded, then its probably safe to assume he's not the kind of person that will stand you up or make excuses.

If he doesn't contact you again in a day or so, you can still respond, but proceed with caution.

Answer 6

Don't give him a second chance if he knew you had a date he wouldn't have fallen asleep and miss the date

Answer 7

Dont be a hard *** all the time, so give him one last chance.  Say... "hope you are well rested for our date, let me know when"

Answer 8

no !

I am a gracious person - but that sounds like a lie.

I don't give "liars" a second chance- if they'll lie to you once - they keep doing it.

If you decide to - do it on your terms...

Answer 9

Nope.  No 2nd chance.  He should have called immediately upon waking.  He could've set an alarm.  It obviously wasn't important enough to him.  I am sure that he found something better to do and he blew you off. Even if his story is true, he needs to know that there are consequences to his actions so maybe he won't do it to the next person (or to you again). If I were you, I would not answer his text (at least make him sweat it for a little while).  That was very inconsiderate and rude to you.

Answer 10

give another chance cause if he didn't like you that much he wouldn't apologize profusely. but because he messed up on the first date, that gives him less room for error the next couple of months. so if his "phone died" when he was supposed to call you, move on to the next guy. any guy worth your time would realize that if he was a no show the first date, he has to be on perfect behavior for awhile.

Answer 11

its one thing if he didn't SAY ANYTHING at all.. but since he apologized i think u should give him another chance... but if he fails to show up again then dump him.. u don't have to put up w/ that nonsense more than once!

Answer 12

Give him a second chance and if it happens again kick him to the curb!

Answer 13

This is in that grey area.  I would have thought he would have called you as soon as he woke up.  But to wait until the next day like that seems weird to me.  What went on overnight that he did not contact you saying how sorry he was?

Do you like him?

I would say give him another chance if you like him.  But he should be on probation.  If this is a habit he has you are going to have to decide if it is something you can put up with.  If you can't put up with a tardy no show date - then move on.  

On the other hand, if you believe that he really likes you but just is not the type of guy who is good with a calender, then stay with him.  Some people just have no sense of time.  You can't plan around them because you know they won't show.  You have to make your plans and enact your plans with or with out them because if you sit around waiting for them nothing will get done.  It is up to you to decide if you can tolerate that.  Some people enjoy free spirited people.  Many don't.

Answer 14

He SENT a MESSAGE?!?!? He didn't call??? That speaks volumes. He missed the date because he is either very irresponsible OR (more likely) he just subconsciously didn't want to go. and THEN he doesn't even call!

You could give him another chance but I'm almost  positive that it'll be a flop.

** He could have sent the message AND/or called AFTER you were both finished work.

Answer 15

I would say, no second chance. Not that I am merciless, but he had the entire ride home from golfing to call you... not to mention the time at his house before he actually fell asleep.

Most of my guy friends will tell you - if a good guy is really interested in you - he will NEVER stand you up (barring an act of God, death in the family, etc...).

There are plenty of thoughtful men out there who would have put you above a little nap. This could be an indication of what his priorities will be if you start dating.

As for what to text him - I have never been good at stuff like that. You know him; think of a gentle way to tell him he blew his chance.

Answer 16

I wouldnt mess with him... If you really meant something to him, he wouldnt have allowed himself to miss your date...

EVER hear of an alarm?

I used to be a playa, back in the day, and that was my #1 excuse...

Dont waste your time......

Or, look at it this way.  Now you have the upper hand in the relationship, and use it to your advantage....

Be cool, and just take care of yourself... dont be the lonely puppy dog life, who just crawls back to this loser!

Answer 17

It depends on how interested you are in this guy.  If this was just a "let's go out and test the waters" date, don't give him a second chance.  I do happen to believe the story, but this shows irresponsibility on his part.

Answer 18

no

Answer 19

I say give him a second chance.  If it happens repeatedly, then by all means, get rid of him.  He may have really fell asleep...

I would text this...

"That's ok, but now you owe me!"

It's a cute, playful way of saying you screwed up without sounding physco.

Answer 20

It depends.  Have you forgiven him?  If not, then don't waste his time.

Answer 21

Did he seem sincere in his apology to you? If so, give him only one more chance. If he messes up the second time, then he is not good enough to date you.

When you text him back, set the date at least a week into the future. Tell him you already have other plans. You don't want t him to think that you're desperate and sitting around waiting at his beck and call.

Answer 22

no...i pretty sure he is lying

because if u were important to him, he would have be excited and not miss that first date

but girls (including myself)

always want to give them another chance, and end up getting hurt in the end

my advice

MOVE ON....theres other fish in the sea

Answer 23

If he apologized then I think you should give him another chance.