He told me i was beautiful...?

Question

he told me i was beautiful. no one had ever said that to me before and meant it the way he did. i knew i could be cute and friendly, but never did i think beautiful. he did. i had determinded not to like him let alone love him. but somehow that moment changed EVERYTHING. i was so scared on the day we got married, but i went thru with it and committed my entire exsistence to him. i made a promise and have kept it. now, some years and 3 kids under our belt......he doesnt want to be here. don't get me wrong, he's good to us and works hard.....but he'd rather be traveling and away than near home. he doesn't act interested in me very often (he really didn't the moment after we got married actually). and it just seems like we are growing farther apart than together. i don't know what to do, what to change in myself.....i know i can't change him......i just wish i knew what happened to that man who called me beautiful....or it he was even there to begin with. what do you think i should do????

Answer 1

Years later and three kids, maybe the two of you need to go on a second honeymoon. Be completely by yourselvs and do whatever your little heart desires for the weekend. Maybe you need to try new s*x things, positions, massages, oral, etc.

Answer 2

Obviously your marriage is in trouble, and the only two people that can fix it are you and him. You need to talk to your husband and decide if you are both willing to possibly seek marital counseling or try to work things out on your own. If he is not willing to try and work out your problems, then it is time to gather your self-respect and leave for the sake of your children and yourself. Both you and your husband deserve to be happy, and I would guess that you are not the only one who is unhappy in this marriage.  Your marriage was not a good strong healthy one from the beginning, I'm guessing you already know that by the way you described it in your letter. Now that you are older and a bit more mature, it may be time to move out of this situation and start a good healthy life for the sake of your children and yourself! Good luck!!!!!

Answer 3

You shouldn't have to change yourself either.  The key is communication.  You need to be able to sit him down and talk to him.  Tell him how you feel and what you used to feel that made your relationship with him so special.  Explain to him that you need that back and want to have that with him.  Us guys are idiots some times and we don't even see that we let work and other things get in the way of providing the emotional support we should be giving.  We are often good at being a provider but forget that the simple things like spending time with our wife, holding her close, and telling her she is beautiful is just as if not more important.

Answer 4

There is no need for you to try to change yourself nor is there any need to change him. This will be a difficult task to even achieve in a lifetime.

I am sure he loves you and the kids a great deal. The common element in a married life is the settlement. The daily grind, knowing what the other expects and so on.

My advice is this....surprise him.

Save up some money and plan a trip...to someplace he likes to go to.

I suggest that you do this....plan a trip......pack up things for you and him. Leave the kids at there grandparents or something or another. Call his work place and find out when he will have a vacation or simple set up a time off for husband.

Put everything in the car..and when he comes home....drag him off...like "we are going to the store"....and while your driving...simply hand him the plane tickets to the surprise destination and say Happy birthday or what have you.

A good loving surprise will bring him closer. I wish you luck.

Answer 5

tell him how you feel

it works

Answer 6

go on with your life and dont show him any interest either do what makes you happy and either he will come around or he wont  

Answer 7

sorry hun, maybe divorce is an option...

Answer 8

File for divorce and cut your losses.

Someone worthwhile will come along eventually and call you beautiful again. He will actually mean it and love you for who you are.

Keep your chin up, girl.

Answer 9

Get into a fitness program and expand your mind with education.  Eat healthy and make a good social life with quality people.  This will give you self respect and the courage to make any decision.  He is giving you the space to improve yourself.  Spend his money well on your way to making a better life for you and your kids,

Answer 10

One person cannot make a marraige work!!!   So don't beat yourself up wondering what you could have done differently...because chances are the answer is nothing.  Some men either change too much or don't change and won't consider doing anything to make the marraige work...and maybe he is one of them.

It is probably time to move on!

Answer 11

Start focusing all of your attention inward. Work on your self. Lose weight. Work on raising your kids. He will come around.