He wants to take my kids

Question

my ex is taking me to court. for our kids he wants them two weeks a month so he wont pay child suport. and he left 3 months ago and has seen our kids like 10 times what can i do . i want everyother weekend im also pregnant with our 3rd child and the court date is ten days after my c-section any one now what i can do . i made a report of domestic violence when he hit me wile pregnant. he also made me move out and took my car and everything i have and now he wants the ids he didnt want them when we were together why now?

Answer 1

Find the closest domestic violence counselor in your area and talk to them about a good DV laywer.  Document EVERYTHING he does or does not do - it's not necessarily proof of anything, but it does help you to remember things accurately and in order.  Did you see your doctor after your ex hit you?  Were there any bruises or danger to the baby documented?  Have that ready for court too.  Once you get a lawyer, it might be worthwhile to see if you could get the court date pushed back a couple weeks - 10 days following a c-section is brutal.  

Just because your ex wants visitation doesn't mean he'll get it - but if he's got a lawyer and you don't, you are going to have problems.  A Domestic Violence program might have access to legal services at low or no cost.  If the car is in your name, I'd file a police report on a stolen vehicle.  This guy is dangerous - do not do this alone - GET A LAYWER!  Be safe and take good care of yourself - get the emotional support of your family and friends, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Answer 2

He is all about control. He wants you to have nothing, because he no longer has you. Control, control, control. This man is going to fight hard and possibly do anything he can to get your kids. This may be a long and hard battle. You will need a lot of money and a d**n good lawyer.

My mom and step-dad got divorced. There were several reports of DV against him and many reports of even the abuse to my sister and me. Including many pictures. Believe it or not, 3 years later he went to court to get my half sister-and WON!!!!! My sister and I even went to court in case we needed to testify that he was controlling & abusive... The judge did not speak with us. Now, 4 years later, my mom finally has VISITATION!!!! And has just got to spend time with her for 2 weeks. My mom has not got to see in her in YEARS!!!! It is all about the control. The sad thing is, we tried to warn the judge, and now my little sister is 10 and has told us how she is abused and has been abused emotionally & physically. He even abuses his old mom!

Good Luck!!-FIGHT HARD and NEVER EVER give up!! Get a good lawyer, and get support from family & friends.

Answer 3

it sounds like he likes being a control freak so to be in total control of you he wants to take your kids to make you suffer

Answer 4

get a lawyer..... he maybe wants the kids because he wants to be a dad or dosent think you are good for them  

Answer 5

he is trying to use the kids to control you and if the car is in your name report it stolen to the police and have them return it to you. Make sure you mention all the details so they don't try to turn it into a false police report some police tend to side with men. Make sure you have the police report about the abuse and have some wittnesses stating you are a good mother and if any body witnessed him not engaging in activities with your children have them ready to testify. He sounds like he is very controlling. Thank god you are away from him.

Answer 6

It sounds like he's just trying to punish you and thats the only way he has to do it.

My ex husband said c**p like that but he never really wanted the kids, he just wanted to upset me.

You don't say how old the kids are but I'm assuming younger than school age. Most judges don't want to set a schedule like this as its too hard on the kids. You really need an attorney right away.

Call Legal Aid if you don't have a lot of income. Document every thing also. Right down dates, times, every thing he says and does. Write down every thing about the violence and get a copy of any police reports. That will be important to the decision.

Good luck.

Answer 7

First of all both you and your ex seem to think that child support is payment for visitation.  That is wrong, they are seperate things altogether.  First of all a court will order child support paid to whichever parent has residential/physical custody, that money is to be used to help pay rent/mortgage, as well as household bills to provide a roof over the kid's heads, heat the house/apartment, and provide food and clothing for the kids.  

Visitation is awarded by the court in order to keep the custodial parent from not allowing children to see the non-custodial parent.  If there is proof of domestic violence then the court will take that into consideation when considering placement of the children however keep in mind that if he didn't harm the children,only you the court will also take that into consideration.  I don't know what the court date being 10 days after your C-section has to do with anything...I've had three C-sections and was allowed to go out two weeks after.  You will just have to get rest before and after the court appearance, let the court know in advance of your surgery they may award a special dispensation on your part and only require you to be there for a short time.  

Answer 8

its very stressing right now however the jugde is going to look at everything and what he doesnt look at bring up to the judges attention.. i believe most of the time its 50 /50 unless you can prove unfit parenting.   there are alot of factors on child support like  who makes more money  who has the kids more(even if its one day more) etc. i wish you good luck with this