He won't be my "boyfriend" but he doesn't want to let me go? What to do?

Question

I love him and we have a great connection and get along really well but he doesn't want a bf/gf relationship. I can feel love from him and within me when we're together. Others see it as well. His friends always tell him and me that "he better not s***w it up"

It really makes no sense to me -- I feel like there must be something holding him back. He has no job. I know he can't take me out, etc. I have a good job.

I love him but maybe i should let go. What do you think??? And how do I let go when he stays in contact with me?

Answer 1

The only way to find out is to ask him!! Job could be the reason that he does not want it yet. The fact that he can not take you out is a big deal to guys. However you can talk to him and see what the reason is and in a way make him understand that you will be there for him to get a job etc . He needs to know how you feel about him so he will open up as well. good luck...

Answer 2

Oh wow. That's difficult. Okay look, if he doesn't want that kind of relationship, then you can let him hold you back from progressing. Tell him that. You can't drive forward looking int he rearview mirror.

Just Keepin it reall! :D

Answer 3

Just be friends and dont worry about the gf/bf relationship for now.  Let him be, but dont ignore him.  I have a friend right now who I just talk to like once a week and we are not all exclusive, because we have both been through bad past relationships.  He doesnt want anything deep with me and I feel the same.  BUT, if someone else comes along in the meantime, I am not going to forsake the possibility of having another guy in my life because of him and you shouldnt either.  You should make it clear to him that while he wants to just hang out with you for now, that you do not belong to him and that you are open to other guys taking you out.  

Answer 4

You simply be honest with him.

Tell him you need something more in a relationship than he is willing to offer.

Letting go is easy. You just quit answering his calls.

Answer 5

You will have to be the one to set boundaries and enforce them. Don't give him the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities of a relationship.  He can't have it both ways unless you allow it.

You can do No Contact. If he calls, you don't have to answer the phone or talk to him.  What do you really want?  He's not going to change.

Answer 6

Well u have to 1st ask if you really want to stay or last with him? If you dont then tell him easy , and let him know ur doughts about things. If u do want to keep goin then stick around and see what he is waiting for. Maybe he is waiting for his next step, or wandering what he needs to do to make things better for the 2 of u in the end. Maybe he is nervouse about a sertain comitment he will have to make.  

All i can say is talk it out with him , see whats holding back and ask if  he is worth the wait and comitment?

Answer 7

i don't think you should let him go, because he seems to love you as well... and in my opinion best friends going out together is like good caus you know each other so well.. but if you want to let him go then tell him that you love him and you cant just be friends and tell him that ultimatum like either he tells you he loves you back or you make him consider that you cant take loving him and pretending else and don't want it to continue, good luck!

Answer 8

Maybe he has some things within his self that he wants to work on before he gets into a relationship...you never know what his reason could be talk to him about it so you can have a better understanding as to why he's not ready

Answer 9

get rid silly he wants his cake and the cakr shop.

Answer 10

He doesn't want to "let you go" because :

1. You are all he has

2. He likes the availability of s*x

3. He knows he has you under his control

Grow up and get away from the loser.