Heard any good jokes lately?

Question

Heard any good jokes lately?

Answer 1

There are three kids. You , a black guy, and a white guy. The were hanging out near the woods and soon relized you went missing. They decided to go look for you. Eventually the black guy came to a sign that said....... b l o w j o b s  for 25 cents. The huge sign had a hole and that was the only opening. you couldnt see who was behind it. He decided i need a break, wat the h**l. Soon after the white guy found the sign. He decided it was worth the 25 cents. soon after they both gave up and decided to walk back to their camp. You were waiting for them. they both were relieved and said where were you.

You said "It doesnt matter....I MADE 50 CENTS GUYS!



Lol, nothing against you, just instead of you, use the person your telling the joke to...lol

Answer 2

Two preachers meet at a stop sign every day riding their bikes. One day, one of the preachers strides up with out his bike. The other preacher asks, "where's your bike?" He answers, "Someone stole it." The other preacher says, "Next Sunday preach on the ten commandments. By the end of the sermon someone will confess that they stole your bike." That Monday he rides up on his bike and the other preacher says, "I see that you are riding your bike today." The first preacher replies, "Yeah, I got all the way to Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery when I remembered where I left my bike."

Answer 3

Oh Yea!

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."