Heartaches and sand graves...poem...critique please!!!?

Question

Hey summertime on the coastline is brillant,

We walked hand in hand down the beach,

Our toes dug graves in the sand with each step.

These are the momentss I never want to forget.

Hey Summertime sing to me a melody,

I wanna go back cause it's raining all day.

I thought you should know I loved that girl,

But it's a shame she had to skip town on me.

My heart was a paradise filled with sun,

Now it's just raining all day long.

I wanna feel how I felt in her arms,

I wanna feel what it's like with a mended heart.

3 years ago I had this girlfriend,

she made me smile like my brother would,

But now my brother's dead she was the only one left,

So picture my heart when I found out she left.

I'm a surplus of emotions with nowhere to go,

I keep standing in the spotlight, but no one will show,

So I'm curing my cancer with another cigarette,

Tell me God how could you forget.

I wanna fly like I did back when,

You had the heart my hands were in,

But I'm not gunna live in the past,

***** all the memories that couldn't last....

Answer 1

I like how you use repitition in the first two stanzas with "Hey Summertime."  If you could incorporate this throughout the rest of the poem, it would be good lyrics to a song.  Good job!  

Answer 2

Really lovely....I smiled when i read it...=)

Answer 3

Wow that's really good, you could make it into a song too.  

Answer 4

As usual you are improving by leaps and bounds. Yoiur emotions are more to the point . Thgey seem to express more easily their hidden sorrow.

In general the music of pathos, the rhythm and even the rhyme in the 2nd half has improved considerably. As a result we appreciate your emotions of love and sorrow in a distinct way.

As usual again the last two lines of the poem speaks of anew beginning and new start. The poet does not want to live in the past , nor thesad memories of days gone by. This is a great break-through in the purity of emotions and raising them up.

Each stanza has its own  meaning and a wound andbound story to tell, which like everytime may certainly be paraphrased .