Hello, I have a very complicated and complex question for you all.?

Question

My girlfriend recently got pregnant by a man she hardly knows when we were seperated for 2 months. Now we are back together and talking about getting married. She wants this man who got her pregnant to have nothing to do with this baby, he is bad news in every way. She wants me to step in and be the father of this child, and i would be more than happy to do that, but I don't know that just by signing the birth certificate when the baby is born, I would become the legal father of her child. I don't know the laws in Minnesota regarding this sort of situation. Please help!!!

Answer 1

Has she told this other man about the pregnancy?  If not, dont tell him and claim him as your own.

Answer 2

Not really a very complicated question is it?

                          The law in Minnesota will be about the same as any place.

                             If you sign the cert to say you are the legal Father you would not be telling the truth, you are not the legal Father.

                               And to adopt you need the permission of the legal Father.

                                 When you get married you can have the babies name changed to your surname that is easy enough.

                                   Does the legal Father know he is about to become a Dad??  If not and your g/f says she doesn't know who the Father is, then that may shed a different light on the situation! Check with a local lawyer about that scene.

                                     You seem to be a very caring feller, don't just dash into signing anything you may regret in the future.   Spend a few dollars and check it out with a local lawyer first.

Answer 3

Don't lie on any official documentation nor to the child.  It's not right and it's not fair on the child

Being honest doesn't mean you can't be an excellent father figure to your girlfriend's child.  If you lie and mislead the child - it will backfire on you someday, for sure.

Answer 4

I wouldn't know the laws state by state either, but if she (as the mom) states you are the father - and you sign the birth certificate, the baby is yours!

There is a chance that the biological father could come forward through the courts and demand a DNA test - but his gamble is that he'd also have to pay child support for the next 18 years - and is he really willing to do that?? Prolly not!

I commend you for stepping up to the plate though.  So many kids today don't have a father to speak of.  The act of s*x does not constitute a father, it only means they are a sperm donor.  A father is someone who raises and cares for a child, who is there when they need guidance, and even when they don't.

Just be sure this is what you really want.  If you're signing that birth certificate, you too are looking at child support and obligations for the next 18 years should this relationship not work out between you and your girlfriend.

Good bless and best wishes in whatever you decide!

Answer 5

The biological father has a right to know his child... and the child has the right to know his biological father.

If the birth father pays child support, it will be a financial help to the raising of the child.  The child could also get insurance and death benefits....

These are things to ponder.  You will still be the daddy to this child.  But if you and your girlfriend break up... you won't have to pay child support.

Answer 6

If there is no parent stating the child is someone elses, they will not even question it. But I would still do it the legal way. Its just what is best for the child. You may be the better father, but the child still has the right to know. If you choose to tell them later, that is a suggestion but think of how the child will feel. What about medical needs. He/she will need to know medical history of the biological father. Its takes a special man to be a daddy, anyone can father a child.

Answer 7

Birth fathers are required to relinquish their rights to a child. Then that child could be adopted by you. It's illegal to put your name on the bcert if you know it's a lie.

The problem (other than legal) is that the truth is most likely to come out someday, somehow. The child will then know he/she was lied to about their bio dad and that will bring up issues of truth about the rest of their history. Don't do that to a child.

Consult an attorney. If the mother doesn't know the father's address, the attorney can advertize and if he doesn't come forth, then an adoption can be undertaken. Do it the right way to start with and there won't be regrets later.

Cudos on being willing to step up for this child and be it's father.

Answer 8

You are forgetting one very big aspect of the childs life by signing that certificate. It's the ancestory part. There are undoubtedly going to be things that come up medically for that child as he/she gets older and your medical history isn't going to be worth a hill of beans to them because your not the father. For the childs sake put the fathers name on the certificate. You can do what ever you want afterward but take it from some one who knows first hand, it is the wrong thing to do. You have no crystal ball telling you that later on will be fine to unveil the fact that your not their real father. Fact is you don't know what can happen and you and the mother may not be around to tell the truth later on. Think about where that leaves the child. He might be a bad man now but you have no way of knowing if he will or will not change later on. He may be some one totally different later down the line. He may enjoy a relatioship with a child.

Answer 9

regardless of how much of a loser his is, his IS still the biological father of this child.  what you are suggesting is adoption.  and with any other adoption, he has to terminate his rights.  

also, even though she might believe he is bad news (and he very well might be), her opinion of him doesn't trump his legal rights.  he might be a real jerk to her, but wishes to be a father to this child... legally, he has that right.

now, if he's abusive, neglectful or in someway harmful to the child (and not based on your girlfriend's assessment of her  ex-lover; but some quantifiable evidence) then his parental rights *might* be contested, after birth.

in addition, it's illegal to place your name on the birth certificate when you know that the child is not yours.  

also, you stated that "she got pregnant by a man she barely knows," " she wants me to step in..." and "she wants this man to have nothing to do with this baby."  to me,   honestly, i see some serious judgement issues here on behalf of your girlfriend. i would strongly suggest that you speak to a professional with the domestic relations court in your county.

good luck.

one more thing:  as a health professional, i must advice you (this i'm actually licensed to do) to get tested for STDs.  many young people find themselves infected during periods of break-ups.  especially since your girlfriend has become pregant by another man, which means that she had unprotected s*x with another partner. a partner whose behavior she deems questionable.  this is a huge STD/HIV risk.

good luck.