Help, Am I depressed at 14 ? ?

Question

Sorry I had to post this question again as I forgot my user and password for my other account (I'm not even blonde).

Hey... Am i ' depressed '

For as long as i can remember my mum beat me, physically and emotionally. This continued until just before my 8th birthday where she finally came clean to an affair and left me, my dad and brother to go be with her new man (still bitter about that). Throughout this bleak time my mum adored my brother and he wood only get the occasionally hit, she hated me, she would hit, shout and at one point she tried to kill me. Obviously this has always affected me. But ever since she left I have seen her most weekends and acted like a ‘ Happy family ’ until 16th august 2007 when I finally confronted my mum about this, and guess what, she denied everything! It tore me apart that my mum would do something like that and then lie about it. My mum and dad don’t talk at all, ever, and all my mum could do was blame my dad for given her depression and made him out to be such a bad person, the one person I trusted and believed, now I suddenly doubted him. It took a few months to start seeing my mum again after this and the first time I saw her we had an argument and I ended up going home early, I was torn apart again! Ever since my mum left I’ve been though all the emotions, pain, hurt , denial of her doing anything wrong but now it just feels like I’m depressed and has for a long time.

Back in January I did try to seriously kill myself and I go to sleep every night wishing that I don’t wake up and when I do, it’s a great disappointment. Not a single day that goes by that I don’t think about what happened and not a single day that it doesn’t affect me in some way. I just feel lifeless and have lost real interest in things I used to really enjoy, I just cant be bothered. I get angry easily and if I cant do something I just break down in tears. I mean I’m not like this every day, all day. But the majority of the time, I am!

I’ve lost friends though this, my best friend and I used to be really close and now I dread being around her, I don’t want to be near anyone.

I don’t ever see myself moving on from this point or ‘getting over’ my past, it only a dream to me that can NEVER be made a reality.

I cant tell my dad how I am feeling as I can’t bare to see him hurt and he doesn’t understand fully how I am feeling whether he doesn’t want to admit to it being his wife, my mum that beat me, I don’t know.

But am I depressed or is this just a ‘ faze ’ I am going though??

Answer 1

I only got through the first two sentences YOU NEED COUNSELING!!!!  If you ARE clinically depressed, as you may well be, they will know how to help you deal with it.  If the counselor isn't meeting your needs, you need to have the adults in your world change counselors, but you will probably need some sort of therapy for a while to work through the disappointment of losing your mom, and the complexes that are sure to have arisen from the situation she created!

I'm so sorry about how awful you've had it.  You need lots of caring people around you to help you get past this.  Start with your Dad.  He really sounds like you can depend on him, but if he turns out to not be enough help, go to someone else you trust.  Parent of a friend, teacher, counselor at school, the doctor.  This is not something you should go through on your own.  It is NOT a phase!!!  You NEED help!  

Hopefully, things will mellow out, and you can come to a point where you can lead a happy life, but you're gonna need some help getting there.  You might need to cut mom out of your life for a while.  Eventually, hopefully, you will come to understand that what she did might have been the result of some things she had little control over, and that, even though she denies her part in tearing you down, she does that because she feels she has to to survive.  (Not because she's right, mind you, but abusers are rarely able to face their own faults.)

Answer 2

OK, for all of you (can't spell sorry) psychiatrists out there you might not want to read this. I do not belive in mental disorders I believe in mental diseases but not disorders they are only extreme highs and lows of a persons life. Listen, it is not a faze but you seem to be wollowing in your past, like I used to do. I'm serious on this, forget about it, it happened theres nothing you can do about what happened in the past you can only change the present, but when you change the present you can make a better future. You have NOT gone through the worst in life. Think about it, you are still living, you still have a home, there are people out there that care and love you, you just can't see it bc you're too busy bathing in your own saddness about the past. Please think about what I say and see if this works before seeing a doctor. I've seen so many of my friends take pills to stop depression and they just make things worse because one mental disorder leads to another and even more meds I can't stand seeing it.

Some ideas for you:

Try talking about something else, make new friends if the old ones don't like you, get into hobbies you like no matter what they are. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY! Oh, and laughing helps too to me that is the best medicine out there. You have only one life to live make the most of it.  

Answer 3

One, it's spelled phase. Sorry, I'm an obsessive person.

And two, you are most definitely depressed. Anything that serious is most definitely NOT a 'phase' You need to get a psychiatrist and find out a way to get you out of this.

Good luck, and I'm sorry about everything that happened to you.

Answer 4

Don't worry,

you are going to turn out into a very great and successful person, do you know why? because you learned to be independent earlier in your life. you never had to rely on your parents because you got through those bad times. when your legally an adult, you can do whatever you want.

you could sue your mum and win.

you can leave your childhood behind and start a new life

you dont need those people, you never did!

It is just a phase. After this is all over, the best thing you can do is forgive them and move on.

Answer 5

Ok- listen.  What happened to you SUCKED and isn't fair.  But now, right now, and every day from here on out, YOU have a choice.   You can live like a victim or you can say NO MATTER WHAT I WILL DO BETTER.    It is a choice that only you can make.  

You can live in the past, or you can live in the present.  I know you are a little young for it - But the book "The power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle is a wonderful book.   When you find yourself getting brought down by awful memories, you have to consciously pull yourself back to the present.   Try it.  

Answer 6

Thoughts of suicide, and one attempt.  Isolating yourself from your friends and (at least to some extent) your family.  Losing interest in the things that you used to enjoy.  Yes.  These are symptoms of depression.  And it sounds pretty severe.  I experienced severe depression that started when I was about your age.  It was horrible, and I am so sorry that you are going through this.

The good news is that there are a lot of really good antidepressant medications out there these days.  They won't solve all of your problems, but they will take away most of the darkness and pain, give you back much of your energy.  A good psychiatrist can help you find one that works well for you.  I know this because this worked for me.

The other good news is that a good therapist can help you to work through your feelings.  It will take time and hard work.  But a good therapist can help you get to the place where you are yourself again, and feel really good and normal.  I know this because I have done this as well.

I hope that you are able to talk with your father about what you have been going through.  I understand your fear about his willingness to believe what your mother did to you.  Maybe there is a way to do this without talking to him about the abuse (only talking about the pain that you are going through).  I don't know enough about either of you to know whether this is possible.

But I do know this.  You are fighting a difficult battle.  You need all the allies you can get.  And your father can be one of your most important allies.  He can make it possible for you to get the help you need.

If you find that you are unable to do this, then I have another suggestion.  Talk to your doctor.  Be honest with him about your depression, your darkness, your pain.  He can help you to get the care that you need.  If he is really good, he might also be able to help you figure out how to start the conversation with your father so that you can get his help as well.

You are not alone.

Answer 7

hey gurl!! drepressed is nt da wrd 2 use....u r handlin so much at such a young age...i cant say dont worry..but...dont run away either...its being coward...n im sure ur nt...after all dat u'v handled..... try makin frns...dont stay alone...try out strangers if urnt comfortable speakin wid ur brother...also try being close 2 ur dad...he really needs u n so do u... i noe i hvnt really solved ur problem...but i think itll comfort u atleast a bit.... TAKE CARE

Answer 8

Step 1: Ensure your emotion is controlled daily. Don't over reacted, stay calm and don't get worry easily

Step 2: Think before your action. Don't repeat her past experience on herself. Remind herself from time to time.

Step 3: Be confident to yourselves. Remember everyone is the winner. "Only One sperms out of millions fertilize an egg"

Step 4: Get a group of close friends to share your experience and get some activities that would occupied your time

Step 5: Increase scope of life. Meaning that she should involve in more social activities like dancing, outing and others.

Step 6: Put a rubberband on the wrist. If there is a negative thought, Tighten the rubber band and release it. Hence the effect of the pain would be able to reduce the possibility of negative thought.

Good Luck.

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http://drgeorgeleow.blogspot.com/

Answer 9

It sounds like you are depressed, but given the circumstances that's a fairly natural reaction.  When you are depressed it feels like you will never get to the other side of it, but it is possible to do so.  You have to work at it though, you can't sit waiting for it to pass.  

I think you should talk about it with your dad.  If you can't, then you should talk about it with a counsellor. You've had some pretty hard times and you've been strong to get through it all.  Don't feel you need to do it all yourself though, the support of others is what will help the most and you shouldn't be ashamed to ask for it.