Help, I Need Some.....Advice!!!

Question

Hello, well my little brother(12) came over here to visit me for some time. He lives seven hours away in Arizona with our mom(who's a really bad mom). He hates it there so I invite him over on vacation time. We have a really close relationship.

Well, since he got here he's been quiet and looks a little spooked. I ask him if he's ok, he'll say yeah and look down(as if denying what he said). He hasn't been able to get much sleep here. The only time he actually got a full night's sleep was when he fell asleep on the couch watching a movie with me. I had my arms around him(since he was little he enjoyed me doing that when we were sitting next to each other he would move his body a bit so that we were comfortable.) so i guess he was comfortable. As I finished watching the movie, I could feel his heart beat rise, he'd jump a little and then I'll go down. We both ended up falling asleep and waking up the same way.

He says that he always has nightmares. I noticed that he is really quiet. In fact, at times looks a bit depressed. I have told him that if he wants to talk I'm here. What should be going on here? How can I handle this? What should I do?Thank You so much.

Answer 1

first of all you don't mention your age or whether your a male or female.  But depending on how old you are(just over 18 ,  21  older) would depend on the answer. I am not a dr or psychologist but just someone trying to give good advice and be helpful.  Maybe give it some time and see if he comes around and trust you enough to open it. I AM NOT SAYING HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU BUT even though you told him you'd be there for him if he wanted to talk, at the age he's at maybe its a little awkward for him.  You mentioned your mom is a bad mom?  How?  What things does she do to make her a bad mom? Has she ever hit you and is that what you think she's doing to your little brother ?  Maybe your mom just yells at him sometimes due to stress or something and he thinks she doesn't love him even though she does.  Maybe try talking to an aunt,uncle,cousin, or someone else who knows the family and maybe they can be of help. Maybe he confided in one of them or you may get more answers to your question from them.  Did you try talking to your mom? Perhaps she is not even aware of the situation and maybe at home he sleeps pretty good or if he doesnt then maybe she doesnt notice it.  Maybe its not even your moms fault.  Did he goto a play group or summer camp or something? Maybe he was bullied there or in school before it ended and hes afraid to tell you or your mom.    On the other hand, he can be going through normal puberty things for children that age(boys and girls) and maybe afraid to ask you questions about the body etc.  I WOULD SAY JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING AND MAYBE HE WILL OPEN UP AND COME AROUND ON HIS OWN AND TALK THEN.  YOU MAY ALSO CALL HIS OR ANOTHER DR(PEDIATRICIAN) CLOSE TO YOU AND DISCUSS IT WITH THEM MAYBE THEY CAN BE OF HELP.  Anyway ,  good luck  and hope all works out. IF I CAN BE OF MORE HELP OR YOU NEED MORE ADVICE THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME ,   IM AN OLDER MALE IF THAT HELPS.

ps. i just read what the person after me said an that makes alot of sense. I didnt think that maybe its who you are living with but that could be a possibility  which is why I asked your age. Everything that person after me said makes sense. so good luck agian.

Answer 2

How old are you? Are you living with your father, or are you an independent adult? Do you think he's uncomfortable with who you may be living with?

It sounds like he's obviously uneasy about something, but I can't really say what it would be based on the information you've given. At any rate, it sounds like something is just really bothering him and he would probably benefit from talking about it. Whether it's troubles with mom or he's just uncomfortable being in an unfamiliar place, try to gently get him to open up. Do something with him that you know he loves to get him to come out of his shell - if you're close I'm sure you know plenty of ways to do that.

Answer 3

Very tricky situation going on here.

But I suggest that you get him to come over more often. More than usual. So he can have the feeling of company :)

He's only little. I think he might be struggling at home.

Also have a good talk to him while doing something, such as kicking a ball.. or coloring, that way he doesn't feel so intimidated.

I hope everything goes well. X