Help, I am confused.

Question

About a year ago I left my husband for another man. It's not that I didn't love him, I just thought I needed something new. I was real attracted to the new man for only a short time. All along I was talking to my husband because we share a child. At first he was real upset and begging for me to come back to him. I agreed after about a year that I would like to work with my husband on our marriage. Believe it or not I do and always have loved him. Anyway, now and for about 4 months he is treating me like trash by calling me every name in the book and screaming at me telling me I am a s**t and that he can talk to me like this because of what I did. He says all these mean things to me, but in the same sentence he says he wants to work on our marriage. The way he treats me is horrible. My question is should I let him continue to talk to me like that? Do I deserve it? What should I do?

Answer 1

It sounds to me like he thinks he deserves the right to treat you how he wants. In my opinion although we can hurt the ones we love... we wouldn't ever do it on purpose. It doesn't make sense that he would beg for you to come back then treat you to verbal nastiness when you returned to him. Sounds like he needs a reality check.

What you do is ultimately up to you, but if you would like to try and work things out I would suggest you tell him that the way he treats you now is counter productive to making your marriage work again. You owe him nothing... if he can't treat you with respect then why stay with him? Remind him that there were reasons why you left the first time... and what is to stop you now.

How is your relationship going to move forward if he can't get over the past?

Answer 2

As hard as it is to hear this stuff, he doesn't mean it, he is hurt by what you did, and he doesn't know how to deal with it, you both need  counseling together, sometimes a third party that isn't emotionally involved can see things you can't.

Answer 3

He's not over it and he will do nothing but hurt you. I can't blame him but when he agreed to work on your marriage, he needed to forgive you. You don't deserve it. I would tell him that you need to attend marriage counseling together so you both can move forward. If his treatment continues, you will have another affair. Hopefully, you have learned from your mistake and genuinely want to work on the marriage and are not just taking your husband back because you are lonely or because the affair is over.

Answer 4

no you don't deserve this you know what you did was wrong so you don't need to be punished like this i believe you should leave that a** hole instead of living your life in shame for what you did so its your choice think it over n you'll get your answer