Help, I believe in love!?

Question

I'm a typical believer. I've been having an affair with a married man without even knowing he was married. We used to have a good relationship. A REAL relationship. After our first trip together, I started seeing him less and the dates would be late at night after his work and we would only have time to have s*x. He's a complicated man who just fixed his problems with his wife. We speak every week online, and when I want to convince him to choose for me instead, he says that he loves his wife. Meanwhile we still go on talking about s*x and even meeting up for it. I really wish that he got a divorce...

Answer 1

Your nothing but a booty call you know he's married unless you want the lable as a home recking w***e who is easy.I'd leave him alone

Answer 2

I'm sorry, but rather than say I'm a typical believer, how about I'm a typical idiot. I know that sounds mean, but you're acting like a fool, someone who knows the outcome of their foolish plan, but does it anyway.

You "know" whats going to happen, and yet, you're quixotic about him eventually picking you. And you don't want to look rejection in the face.

You can pay now or pay later. Good luck.

Answer 3

Whoa, hold on a minute, sister! You said you are actually trying to convince him to leave his wife for you??? After you said that he "fixed his problems with his wife"?  Leave the man be. He just wants you for s*x. And how would you like it if some little home wrecker decided to try to steal your husband away after you invested time, love and money into the marriage? Go get your own man. The minute you found out he was married you should have hit the road. No one wants to be with a cheater. If he'll cheat on her, he'll cheat on you.  

Answer 4

Please! Do you really think he's going to leave his wife for you or any other woman? He just wants to have his cake and eat it, too, especially when he seems to only want to see you for s*x. Wake up, girl! You can do better than that! You deserve better than that! Tell him to get lost!

Answer 5

You need to wake up!  This man has lied to you over and over.  He deceived you, didn't tell you he was married.  He also lies to his wife about his outside activities.  

Sure, he is complicated!  It takes lots of energy to keep a secret second life going!  He has lots of lies to keep track of.  

Your "good" relationship was based on his fantasy life, a base of lies. It was never "real", it was a lie he created.   He already had a 'real life, he was married, with a wife.  

He is the 'cake-eater', he wants it all.  He loves his wife and wants to also keep his secret on the side.  He is enjoying the ego boost of having two women available for him whenever he wants.   He doesn't want out of his marriage, most likely never did.  As long as you are willing to stay in the shadows of his marriage and be his booty call whenever he craves some outside excitement, he will keep calling on you.   His actions are CRUEL!  Not only to you, but also to his wife.  He is living a lie with both of you, he is betraying the vows and trust his wife gives him, plus is asking you to put your life on hold and play second to his family.  

Don't kid yourself.  He has also lied to you, whatever it takes to keep you hanging on.  Why not, he is already lying to his wife, who he claims to love.   He is not staying because of children, or to keep his wife from hurting herself, or whatever lame story so many married men tell to try to make themselves look like less of the 'bad guy'.  He sleeps with his wife and has s*x with her also.  The 'problems' in his marriage lie within HIM, he is betraying her love for him.   He hasn't 'fixed' anything, he continues destructive behavior towards both of you.

He isn't showing you 'Love', not real love anyway.  He is being self indulgent and hurting you.   Sounds like he has made it clear that he is not leaving his wife.  If he was going to, he would have done it already.

Now, don't you think you deserve better?  A man who is willing to commit to you.  Put YOU in first place and treat you with care and respect?!?  

As long as you play along and allow this, he will continue to call you for his booty calls. You will remain the "other woman" in the shadows of his real life.   It's up to you to decide if you are willing to live this lie with this man.   He has shown himself to not be trustworthy.  He lies to his wife, who he claims to love, and lied to you also, and most likely, continues to do so.  

Call him on his behavior.  Only you can let him know your boundaries.  

Do you think he would leave his wife if he saw he was losing you?  

Do you want to know if you are more to him than free s*x on the side?

Set your boundaries.  Let him know that until he is single, that you will not be available for him sexually.  That you will give him a set period of time, lets say 3 months to start divorce, or you will end all contact with him.   You will find out pretty quick if he really "loves" you.   You may find yourself  moving on without him.