Help, I don't know how to get our parents to accept our relationship?

Question

Alright, so, he is a hispanic male and I am a white female. He is Catholic and and I am Methodist. My parents will not accept him b/c he is not white. People keep saying they will come around, but a year and a half later they still are VERY upset with it. On the flip side of things his parents resent the fact that I am not Catholic, and that I do not intend on raising my children Catholic either. His parents are very upset with him, and mine are upset with me. I am 24 years old and I don't really care what people think, but I get enough c**p from everyone else it would be nice to know that are parents could at least support us. My parents honestly think it is WRONG to date outside a persons race, and his parents think it is wrong to date outside of his religion. I am honestly worried that are children are not going to have grandparents. We have thought about breaking up, but we love each other. It seems so stupid to break up over these minor differences. If anyone has any advise I would really appreciate it, Thanks!

Answer 1

I love ya Val but I have to disagree.

Relationships where the parties are of different religions can work rather well.  My husband was raised Catholic.  He still believes but does not attend services.  I was raised Presbyterian but at this stage in my life do not believe there is a God, but also am not sure there isn't -- I'm one of those there's no proof either way people.  Our relationship works well, we sat down and discussed everything BEFORE we got married and how we were going to run our relationship and raise our children.

He didn't attend services anyway so that part of things didn't really matter.  As far as our children went, we decided we were going to raise them with a knowledge of many religions and allow them to choose whatever religion they see as fitting.  He DESPERATELY wanted our children baptized, I was against it.  We decided that they would not be baptized as an infant, but would be allowed to make their own choice when they got to be old enough to understand what it entailed.

It really ticks my husband's parents off, but they're closed minded people who think they're right about everything and try to get us to do everything their way anyway :)  don't let it get to you -- we don't.

Here's the thing -- if you love one another and are willing to compromise and work hard at your relationship it can definitely work.  However, you need to put each other first 100% of the time -- no siding with your parents over your spouse.  Once you marry that's it, it's your spouse's side, every time.  The first time either of your parents give one of you any lip, explain that you love your husband/wife and that's why you married them.  Tell them that if they cannot learn to respect you and your spouse, that you will be unable to speak to them any more.

Trust me, if they love you enough they will get their act together and grow up -- both your parents AND his parents.  Their children's happiness is what should be most important.  I'd marry with or without their blessing.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I have been married for the last 20 years, I am mixed ( black and white ) my wife is Italian , If you think you have problems, We went to h**l and back with everyone, both her side and mine. We tried to tell everyone we are in love and no one listen. Then one day We said, " why do we care what the world thinks?" It is not the world that is going to keep us together or tear us a part, The world is not going to pay our bill or take care of each other when we are sick. After we both learn that and told the world to kiss are butt, We made it on our own.. And yes we did it our way, it was not easy, h**l sometimes we even ask ours selfs if we were doing the right thing. But after 20 years, let me tell you, it is the right thing. There is a reason that the bible says" a man will live is mother and father and will stick with his wife and they become one". Sometimes you have to let you Mom and Dad know you are not a child anymore. I really could have use some help from both are Mom's and Dad's, but the cost was to high. After 20 years both of our mom and dads love us

Answer 3

My aunt was catholic and my uncle was protestant they were married for over 40 years.  My sister is married to an Asian man (he is muslim) they have been together over 25 years both families accepted the other person before they actually got married, she did convert but only just before they got married.  They are very happy.  It comes down to what you both want no-one else, remember that.  Good Luck

Answer 4

why donot you get married after a while and after kids every 1 will be fine and trust me your parents will love your children its natural  

Answer 5

OMG, we're somewhat similar. Just be firm and strong about your decisions. It's up to you and your husband to prove them wrong. It's going to be a long process sorry to say. That goes for me too since we both married outside of our race. Just remember it's going to be very difficult but not impossible. Others before us have done it. We should be able to do it too. Goodluck to us especially the kids =) Take good care of your kids. When the kids do very well in life, they can help you prove the grandparents wrong. And they will be more respectful of you and your family. Wow, sending you this message empowered me. It made me feel even stronger and able to deal with my own predicament.  

Answer 6

You can't if they are set in their ways just do as you feel is right for you but you shouldn't expect them to jump for joy and don't expect financial help if you fall on hard times.

You do as you want and your parents will feel as they will just live your own separate lives you don't need them or they you for that matter.

Answer 7

YOu need to call a family meeting. You are a grown woman and you are the one who has a say in your life. You need to TELL them, either they respect your choice and become color blind and accept your bf for the person that he is and not his nationality, or they need to butt out of your relationship. YOu need to TELL them that you will not tolerate this as you don't share their same prejudice. If they can't accept that, then they don't accept you either, then move on with your life. He needs to do the same with his family in regards to religious preferences. It isn't their choice it is you and your bf. If your bf accepts your religion, then they need to also or butt out. As for children, why not wait and cross that bridge when you get to it. Raise them possibly by educating them on both and see which one the child feels faith towards. Stop letting your and his parents have so much control. YOu 2 aren't teens anymore.

Answer 8

You need to tell your parents to butt out of your love life. You are old enough to make your own decisions. It's your life so live it the way you want girlfriend. Simple as that. Like you said, who freakin' cares about what other people think. I think they are small minded. Sorry being honest

Answer 9

how will the two of you ever become independent adults if you're still listening to mommy and daddy????  i bet they'd DIE if you were g*y!

it's your life.  that means that your life is yours and no one can run it but you.  people (i say people and not "family" because family are people too) can judge, show their concern, or the opposition whenever they like.  it's only an opinion of which everyone is entitled.  what the two of you need to do is figure out if their concerns are even the tiniest bit your concern.  if you are not concerned, and your b/f isn't concerned either - you'll just have to fight them off.

no one said being in a relationship is easy.  both of your parents are showing their immaturity right now, in reaction to your life and your situation.  as a woman, i would never allow anyone to take out their anger/frustrations/and/or beliefs onto my child.  i don't think you would allow that either.

the both of you will need to stand firm in your decisions, and let the parents huff and puff about what they like, dislike, want, don't want, etc.